Vermont Is Where The Heart Is
by LoveNiaImani
Summary: Fitz is a single dad who runs his family business and host a late night talk show on the weekends. Olivia is a writer who recently moved to town to work on her next book and reconnect with her estranged father. Both have strong opinions on love & family based on past experiences. Take a look at what happens when their two worlds connect.
1. Introduction

**Introduction**

Olivia sat in her car watching people enter and exit _The Book Café_. She was frozen in place, unable to make herself get out of the car and walk across the street. Her life was in that bookstore. The life she always wanted but never got. Her father was in that bookstore.

It had been over fifteen years since Olivia had seen her father. Now with only a street to cross, she was feeling nervous about being reconnected with the only biological family she had.

Olivia grabbed her cell out of the cup holder and scrolled until she found the number she was looking for. Not long after the phone started ringing she heard his voice.

"How did it go?"

Olivia was silent.

"You didn't go in," he said knowingly.

"Harrison, I can't go in."

"You can."

"I have been sitting out here for twenty-seven minutes. I'm not ready."

"You are ready," he spoke with just enough force to show how certain he was but still strong and nurturing. "We did not move all the way out here to Burlington, Vermont for you to get cold feet."

"I moved out here to work on my next book," she corrected him.

"We moved here so that you could connect with your father."

"You know you didn't have to come," her voice was hesitant. "Quinn is going to get tired of you guys moving every time the wind blows me in another direction."

"Quinn doesn't mind because she knows-"

" _Where you go, I go_ ," Olivia finished his statement for him.

Olivia couldn't help but smile after the words left her lips. She had always found Harrison's go to line to be corny and cliché but it was always comforting to hear.

Olivia met Harrison Wright when she was fourteen years old. She had been just placed in her seventh foster home in two years with Ms. Estelle Roberts. Estelle was and older lady who had spent most of her life caring for people. First her parents and her disabled sister, and when they all passed away, she moved on for taking in foster kids.

By the time that Olivia came to stay with Ms. Estelle, she had been bounced around so much because no one wanted the burden of caring for a sick child. Olivia expected more of the same, she would stay for a few months and then have a crisis that would lead to a hospital visit and when she was released from the hospital, it was off to a new foster home. But Ms. Estelle was different. She was older and use to caring for people was what Olivia's caseworker had told her. Olivia was of course skeptic and thought that it was only a matter of time before she be moved somewhere else. Ms. Estelle was already caring for four children ages eight to fifteen when Olivia got there so Olivia was sure that once another crisis happened, Ms. Estelle like the many others before her wouldn't know how to handle it and she would be out.

Ms. Estelle proved her wrong. Olivia ended up staying in her home for three years and over that course of time she bonded most with Harrison who was a year older than her.

When Olivia was seventeen Ms. Estelle passed away. Harrison was already eighteen with a place of his own so when the state couldn't find anyone to take Olivia, she moved in with Harrison. They spent most of their adult life living very close to each other and even sharing places at times. Harrison was her big brother and he was very protective of her.

"Zoe is going to hate me when she reaches school age."

"She is not because we are home now."

"It doesn't feel like it."

"That is because you haven't seen your father."

"What if this isn't meant to be? What if tracking him down was the wrong choice? He probably has a good life and he doesn't need me complicating it."

"Don't do that. Don't psych yourself out before you even give this a chance. You have been talking to him for over a year. He was excited when you told him you were moving here. Don't you go putting up your walls and blocking this relationship before it has a chance."

Harrison was right. She had to go in. She did not uproot her life and move here for nothing. Even if it didn't turn out the way she wanted it to, she had come too far not to see this through.

"Call me when your finish. Quinn, Zoe, and I will stop by for dinner."

"You do know that you don't have to check on me, right?"

"Two birds, one stone, Olivia."

"Bye."

"Bye."

Olivia got out of her car before she could think against it. She was across the street in a matter of seconds but her pace slowed noticeably as she approached the bookstore.

Olivia walked into _The Book Café_. She was surprised to see how big it was on the inside. _The Book Café_ was her dad's place. The front half of the store was a small café that served breakfast and lunch items while the back half was a book store that a small section of computers. It honestly looked like a library with a poetry bar in the front. Olivia thought it was unique and cute.

"Welcome to _The Book Café_ ," a cheerful voice said.

Olivia turned in the direction of the voice.

"Hi. I'm looking for Eli Pope."

Right then, Olivia heard someone call her name in a strong but uncertain voice. She looked up and came face to face with her father. A lot had changed in the time since she had last saw him. His looked older, face more clean shaven. He had put on a few pounds but he was very noticeable as her dad.

"Hi," her voice cracked slightly, betraying her emotions in this moment.

Eli hugged Olivia. It took her arms a minute to work but she hugged him back.

"It is so nice to see you."

He hugged her as if he didn't want to let her go. It was tight but Olivia didn't mind. The last time she had seen her father, she was thirteen and he had lost her for failing to show up in court. Back then she had thought that he didn't love her, that he didn't want her. Her father had lost custody of her after her mother died and he could no longer care for her. What was supposed to be temporary until he got himself together turned into her spending her teen years being bounced around through the foster care system.

"Don't suffocate her."

Eli loosened his grip on Olivia, taking a moment to just look at her.

"Olivia, this is my wife, Maria."

Olivia smiled at the cheerful woman who first greeted her when she entered the store. She didn't mean too but she sized her up, politely of course. Maria was beautiful. Olivia already felt out of place. Like she didn't belong here disrupting her father's life.

"Nice to meet you," Olivia extended her hand but instead was met by another hug.

"I've heard so much about you. It is great to put a face with a name."

Olivia didn't know what to say. She knew that her dad was married and she had a little sister but she tried to stay away from the topic of his family. She would be lying if she said her many years in foster care and being in the hospital alone didn't make her a little bitter. She hated the fact that she had to grow up without a mother or father. Olivia understood why now that she was an adult but her understanding didn't change the past or hurt feelings. Olivia didn't want to hear about his perfect family life because she didn't get that. She had Ms. Estelle who was the closes thing to stability that she had but then she died.

"Belle is going to be so excited to meet you. She talked about you coming all week."

"I wish I would have known she was here, I would have brought her a gift."

"You being here is gift in itself."

Olivia had to refrain from making a face at the ' _your presence is a gift'_ line. She knew that Maria was being nice but Olivia wasn't a fan of the Pleasantville nice. The world wasn't a happy, sunshine and rainbows type of place. She tried to stay away from people who chose to see the world that way because in her mind, they were ignoring reality.

"I'll go get her."

And then Olivia and her father were alone. Or as alone as they could be in the middle of the midday lunch rush.

They were silent for awhile, not a good sign.

"So how long are you in town for?"

She knew that he didn't mean it the way that her mind took the comment.

"I signed a one year lease on my condo so at least a year."

Eli smiled at her.

"You're going to love it here. Hopefully we can get you to stay longer than a year," Eli walked behind the counter, "Would you like something to eat?"

"No thanks."

"We have coffee, tea, water. We have juice if you want."

"Tea is fine."

"Okay," Eli began making her a cup of tea.

Out of the corner of her eye, Olivia saw Maria approaching her.

"Olivia, this is Isabelle," Maria introduced the little girl.

Olivia knelt down so that she was at eye level with her.

"Hi, Isabelle."

Isabelle threw herself into Olivia's arms. Olivia had to balance herself to keep from falling.

"Don't knock her down," Maria said.

"Sorry," Isabelle smiled at her sister, "I have been waiting for you to get here."

"Sorry to keep you waiting."

"That's okay. I made you a picture," she handed Olivia drawing.

"This is beautiful. Thank you."

"Mommy, can I show Olivia around?"

"If Olivia is up to it," Maria said.

"Do you want to see the books?" Isabelle asked excitedly before whispering, "I can show you where daddy keeps your books."

"Lead the way."

Isabelle grabbed her hand and walked with her towards that back of the store where all of the books were held.

* * *

Fitz stared at the logo on his computer screen. He felt like he had been staring at the thing for hours. Fitz just wanted to get it done so that he could be through with it for the weekend. He hated that he had to bring this particular project home with him.

The logo that he was working on was for an interior designer who was going through a rebranding of her business. Fitz had dealt with difficult clients before, people who couldn't make up their minds about designs that they wanted but with Ms. Ross, things were different. Being that she worked in interior design, she thought that she knew everything about designing and constantly came in wanting to change the look of her website and her business cards. She had second guessed and questioned everything that everyone on his team had done for the last two months. As the creative director and one of the managing partners of Grant Advertising, all of the designs had been approved by Fitz, as well as Ms. Ross before she decided that she wanted to change something.

The rebranding of her business had been delayed many times because she has went back on designs. She finally requested to have Fitz work on the layout personally and paid his firm a nice size retainer to have him do the work.

"Is she here yet?"

"No, she is not here yet," Fitz didn't look up from his computer screen as his five year old son Teddy came running into the room.

"Maybe we should call her to see if she is still coming," Teddy suggested.

Teddy was eager to see his older sister who he only saw every other weekend because she was busy with school.

Fitz looked at the time on his laptop, deciding that he wasn't going to get any more work done with an eager five year old on his hands, Fitz saved his work where he was at and closed the laptop.

"How about you call Karen while I get dinner started?"

"Yeah," Teddy said excitedly.

Fitz grabbed his phone off of the table and scrolled through his contacts.

"Video or phone?"

"Video."

Fitz FaceTimed his daughter and handed the phone to his son. He stood up and made his way to the kitchen to get dinner started. He moved around the kitchen getting all the ingredients needed to make burgers and fries.

Fitz had the fries going and was about to mix the ground beef when Teddy walked into the kitchen.

"Karen said she is on her way," Teddy said proudly.

He knew that his older sister was coming because she came home every other weekend on the weekends that Fitz had Teddy. She spent the whole weekend with them and would watch Teddy at nights when Fitz went to his other job.

"What's for dinner?"

"Burgers and fries."

"Can I help?"

"Sure. You need to wash your hands first."

Teddy dragged a chair across the room to the skin. Fitz smiled. His son was so independent for a little kid. Teddy always preferred to figure out things on his own, only asking for help when he absolutely needed it.

"You are just in time for your favorite part."

After washing his hands, Teddy dragged the chair over to his father and climbed up in the chair.

"I hope Karen gets here soon. She doesn't believe me when I tell her I can cook. I think she thinks I'm little."

Mixing the ground beef and seasonings wasn't exactly cooking but Fitz would never tell his son that.

"We're going to have to get her eyes checked, bud because clearly you're a big guy."

"I know," Teddy began mixing the meat together, "Girls are just weird. Even sister girls."

* * *

After dinner, Fitz ran Teddy a bath so that he could be ready for bed later. He returned downstairs to his daughter who was texting at the table where he had left her.

Now that they had so time to themselves without Teddy, he decided to ask her about her mother. His ex-wife Mellie had called him and asked him to talk to him because apparently, she hadn't talked to Karen in over a year. He tried to stay out of matters between Mellie and Karen but he knew firsthand what it was like to be shut out of Karen's life so he figured he would at least inquire about it.

"Your mother called."

Karen sighed, already knowing where this conversation was going.

"I thought you two were talking."

"Well clearly, we're not."

"Why? Did something happen?"

"You know what happened. She ruined my life. She ruined OUR lives," Karen raised her voice before quickly apologizing. She was silent for awhile and Fitz let her get her thoughts together. "I'm so tired of people acting like because she my mother that she gets a pass when she hurts me. That I'm just supposed to forgive her for all the fucked up things she does."

"I get that but something had to happen. You two talking and building your relationship back up and now she hasn't heard from you in ten months."

Karen opened her mouth to speak but then closed it. She didn't want to hurt her dad or bring back her own hurt feelings.

Seeing her hesitation, Fitz said, "Karen, you know you can tell me anything, right?"

Karen nodded but still said nothing. She got up from the table and started cleaning up the kitchen. She needed something to do, to keep her hands busy and calm herself from the anger she felt building up inside of her.

It was quiet and Fitz let his daughter be. He learned early on not to push her and she would come to him when she was ready.

"We had a disagreement," Karen stated as she began wiping off the counter.

"She wants me to talk to Andrew more and give him a chance," she mocked her mother's voice.

Fitz hated the burning that he felt in his chest still to this day when he heard the name Andrew.

"I told her that wasn't going to happen," Karen continued before pausing again to concentrate on a spot on the counter that she rubbed hard.

"Karen," Fitz called her name gently.

Karen looked up at him.

"I told her that wasn't going to happen and she said that I was being selfish and unreasonable because none of this was Andrew's fault. She said that she didn't understand me because I put so much time and effort trying to fit into a family that wasn't mine while neglecting my real family."

Karen didn't realize that she had tears streaming down her face until Fitz arms went around her and she began to sob into his chest.

As Fitz held Karen and tried to soothe her with reassuring words, he remembered why he hated his ex-wife.

Fitz married young, too young. He was only nineteen when his then hometown girlfriend, Melody Mitchell got pregnant. They dated briefly in high school his senior year but it was nothing too serious because they were just kids and although Fitz loved, what he called his hometown of Burlington, Vermont, he wanted to see more of the world. They hooked up a few times when he was home from school and ended up getting hit by reality when Mellie got pregnant.

They got married at the courthouse when she was six months pregnant. Being as though they were just kids, they knew nothing about love but they both knew they had a strong sense of family. Fitz, growing up the oldest of four kids two parents who had been married for decades and Mellie, a girl who was raised by a single mother after her father left and started a family with another woman. Both valued family for different reasons so they got married and vowed to figure the rest out later. And they did or so Fitz thought.

After graduating from Syracuse University with a degree in Graphic Design and Advertising, Fitz took a job at his family business, Grant Advertising. Back when his father was still in charge, he took a position on the creative team and learned the business while on the job. Mellie was a teacher for seven years before becoming principal at the middle school. All was well with them. They were married for eighteen years. They had a good marriage, that despite not starting out because they were two people in love, turned out to be everything Fitz could ever hope for. Mellie was a good mother and partner but that all came crashing down four years ago.

Four years ago, Karen was in a car accident her senior year of high school. Fitz and Mellie forced with the grim reality that Karen might not make it. As a result of the crash, Karen had a collapsed lung and would need a transplant in order to save her life. Both Fitz and Mellie were tested. Mellie was a match. Fitz was not. Fitz didn't understand why he couldn't help his daughter and was livid. He was emotional and angry because she was his daughter and he was supposed to be able to protect her, to save her when she was in distress. Fitz questioned the doctor who informed him that there was no possible way that Karen was his daughter. Confusion set in, then realization, anger, sadness. Karen, the child who he had helped deliver and raise was not his daughter and because of that she was going to die.

Fitz had no time to process any of this. Mellie had no time to waste if she was going to save Karen's life. She showed up at the hospital one day with some man named Andrew Nichols. They ran test on him. He was a match. He was the man who could save Karen's life. He was her biological father.

Mellie and Andrew both donated parts of their lungs to save Karen's life. It touch and go for a while but Karen eventually pulled through. Mellie introduced Karen to Andrew and confessed that he was her biological father, not Fitz.

Mellie and Fitz separated and later divorced because she was in love with Andrew. Always had been apparently.

Fitz thought nothing would ever hurt like almost watching his daughter die and finding out that she wasn't actually his but after being released from the hospital, Karen shut him out.

A DNA test was done on his son and thankfully, Teddy was his. But that didn't stop the hurt of being lied to for all those years. Mellie gave him custody of Teddy in the divorce.

Karen needed therapy, both physically and emotionally. Two and half years ago she contacted Fitz after a year and a half of silence. They sat down for coffee and Karen explained everything to him. She had caught her mother cheating with Andrew and was upset when she drove off and ended up having her crash. She didn't talk to him for over a year because she thought he wouldn't want anything to do with her since her mother had lied and he wasn't her father. It all made sense then. She was a scared little girl who feared rejection and it hurt him that she thought that way. Fitz told her that he would always be her dad. Blood could not make them or break them. She was his daughter. It was a new fresh start to their relationship. They were even closer than ever now.

Hearing what Mellie said to Karen made Fitz furious. Karen had been through so much and still struggled every day with thinking that she really didn't belong to anyone. Although they reassured her and she knew she would forever be a Grant, she felt the full burden of her mother's lie. She wore that lie with her every day since finding out. It was her biggest insecurity and for Mellie to use that against her, it was low, even for someone like Mellie.

"I ruined your shirt," Karen said softly.

"I have other shirts."

The sound of small footsteps running drew both of their attentions to the doorway.

Karen quickly tried to get herself together but Teddy noticed the sadness in the room.

"Were you crying?"

"I hit my toe," Karen lied.

"Oh man. Grandpa Jerry says that is the second most painful thing. The first is stepping on a lego. He said that's like walking through the hell fires."

Fitz and Karen both laughed.

"Don't say hell," Karen corrected him while maintaining her laughter, "It is a bad word unless you are an adult."

"Like the S word that grandpa yells when he steps on a lego?"

"Exactly like that."

"Okay," his five year old mind making a mental note that the word ' _hell_ ' like the S word his grandpa uses and the F word his dad sometimes says, are words that he could not say.

"I was thinking we could watch Monsters Inc tonight for our movie," Teddy said.

"I love that movie," Karen smiled at her little brother.

"Dad, when are you leaving?"

"Ouch," Fitz grabbed his chest feigning hurt.

"Dad," Teddy patted his leg, "You know I love you but I only see Karen on some weekends and you hog all her time."

Karen smiled at her little brother's possessiveness over her. If nothing else, she felt loved in this home.

* * *

Olivia looked through her notes, hoping something would come to her. Some idea, something. She knew that she insomnia hadn't hit her for nothing. She wrote better at night or at least that's what she thought.

She had moved into her new place three weeks ago and had not been able to fall asleep before 4am since being here. That would change, eventually, or at least she hoped. She always had problems sleeping when she first moved into a new place but normally her restless nights turned into pages and drafts but not here. It was now week three and she had nothing to show for it.

She wasn't in a rush to push out her next book. There was no pressure but never in her life had she nothing to write. Even if it was an idea or a note, she had something. But here, in this new place, it was different.

Olivia got up and walked to her kitchen. She grabbed a box of ice cream out of the freezer and grabbed a spoon. On her back to the couch, she turned up the stereo that had been on as background noise. She sat down, listening to a song she had never heard before while eating her ice cream.

When the song was over, she heard a deep baritone voice.

 **On the radio:** _Welcome back to Matters of the Heart. I'm your host Tommy G and tonight's topic is when is love not enough? Before the break we were reading a letter from a viewer who is currently going through a divorce after discovering that his wife had been cheating and that one of his children belonged to her lover. We were having a very heated debate on the limits of love. Is he wrong for not taking her back? Since he was the one to file for divorce, who was the real person to ruin their marriage? If you would like to voice your opinion on this topic, call 802-215-0520._

Olivia hadn't heard the letter being read but topic did pique her interest.

 **Tommy G:** _We have a caller on line one. Caller, what's your name and your comment?_

 **Caller #1:** _My name is Collin and I think the wife is the one to blame for ruining their marriage and any love is there. It is one thing to have an affair. Even the most prideful man in the word can forgive the woman who he loves for having an affair but bringing another child into the mix? That is unforgivable. She is ruined them._

 **Tommy G:** _Thank you for sharing your comment, Collin. We have a caller on line two. Caller, what's your name and your comment?_

 **Caller #2:** _I'm Danielle. I just want to say that I think it is funny that men cheat all the time and have children outside of their marriage all the time and women stay with them. I think that he didn't really love her to begin with or her children and he used that child as a way out._

 **Tommy G:** _It sounds like you blame him for ruining them?_

 **Caller #2:** _Yeah. He wanted out. He took vows. For better or for worse. There is no way that he could just throw away all of those years without looking back if he didn't already want out._

 **Tommy G:** _Well, I w_ _ant to thank you for sharing your opinion with us, Danielle. We're going to pay some bills and be back to take some more calls. Give us a call at_ _802-215-0520 and will talk after the break._

Olivia didn't know they had train wreck radio in a place like Burlington, Vermont. Credit it to insomnia or crazy but Olivia picked up her phone and dialed the radio station. She didn't expect to get through because no one ever really gets through. She knew this from countless times trying to win concert tickets in her youth but she waited anyway.

"Hello, you reached WCAT-AM. Can you please hold for line one?"

"Y-yeah, sure," Olivia stuttered through her words. She never really expected to be put through.

She heard a click and then she was put on hold again. She guessed now was the best time to think of something to say.

* * *

"How many times have I told you not to bring your personal life into the studio?" Abby scolded him.

"I don't know what you're talking about?"

"Don't be a smart ass, Fitz. And don't take me for an idiot. I've been doing this job longer than you."

Fitz flashed her his signature lopsided grin. With normal women, that smile let him get away with murder but not his good friend and producer of his late night weekend radio show _Matters of the Heart_ , Abigail Whelan.

Fitz first met Abby eight years ago when his firm was trying to buy some ad space for client. She was full of wit and brutally honest. They became instant friends.

"You're so full of shit sometimes. We go live in forty seconds. Make sure you don't sound hostile the next time someone says your wrong."

"I told you this isn't about me."

Abby ignored him as left the room. Fitz put his headphones back on and waited for the signal that they were live again.

"Welcome back to _Matters of the Heart_. Our topic tonight is when is love not enough? Or should love always be limitless? We have a caller on line one. Caller, what is your name? And what's your take on this topic?" Fitz said once they were live again.

"Hi. I'm Carolyn and I think that fault lies with both parties. Love and marriage is not some tit-for-tat game to be played with to see who can one up the other on hurt, you know?"

"I do know that."

"Sure the wife was wrong for stepping out on her marriage and lying to her husband but the way I see it, their love wasn't strong enough in the first place."

"What makes you say that, Carolyn?"

"If she truly loved him she wouldn't have cheated. There is this saying that you can't love two people at once because if you truly loved the first person, there would have been no room for the second. The love was never there and the man knew it and felt it too or else he wouldn't have been able to walk away without fighting for his marriage."

For moment Fitz wished he wasn't on live radio so that he could have the chance to take in what she was saying. Her answer was different than most that came in on the topic.

"So in your mind, who ruined the marriage?" Fitz asked.

"Neither. They both set each other free."

"Wow, that's a very different perspective," Fitz paused before saying, "Thank you for calling in to share your take on the situation, Carolyn."

"It was my pleasure."

Her voice seemed to paralyze him. He saw the phone lighting up for him to take the next caller but he ignored it.

"They both set each other free," Fitz repeated her statement, "We're going to play some music for you guys and gals and we will be back to finish this discussion in six minutes."

Fitz flipped a switch on the board and song began to play. He sat back in his seat and listened to the song play.


	2. Chance Encounters

**Chance Encounters**

" _We sometimes encounter people, even perfect strangers, who begin to interest us at first sight, somehow suddenly, all at once, before a word has been spoken._ "—Fyodor Dostoevsky

* * *

Olivia laid in the middle of her floor surrounded by notebooks and her laptop. She had her eye closed, earbuds in and the world turned off. This was her method. Whenever she would hit a dead end, she would lay down with a notebook and her phone or computer by her and just listen to music. Music usually helped to jump started her mind.

Olivia felt the air in the room change. She opened her eyes and found Harrison standing over top of her.

"Jesus, Harrison," Olivia grabbed her chest and pulled her earbuds out of her ears. "You scared the shit out of me," She kicked at him but he quickly moved out of the way.

"Hello to you too."

"What are you doing here? I thought you had to work."

"Lunch break."

"You're wasting your lunch break to come here?"

"I came to check on you."

"I told you that you don't have to do that."

"Did you eat today?"

"Yes, Grandpa Harry, I ate today."

"Did you take your medicine?"

"I did."

Olivia watched Harrison move around her kitchen and tried not to get mad at him. She knew that he was only looking out for her but she hated the way he hovered over her. She always felt like she was controlling his life. He visited her at least twice a day to make sure she was eating and taking her medicine. He kept a better schedule of her doctors' appointments than she did. It was okay when they were younger but he had a fiancée and daughter now.

"I brought you lunch," he handed her a plate with salmon, pasta, and a salad on it. "I know you like to eat a big lunch, small dinner."

"Thank you," she smiled at him.

Harrison took a seat on the couch across from her.

"Do you ever get tired of running behind me? I don't mean that in a bad way because I know you care. I just mean, that you have a family now and I don't want to get in the way of that."

Olivia was trying to find the right words. She didn't want to sound like she didn't appreciate all that Harrison did for her but she felt guilty. She felt like her illness was holding him hostage.

"Do you remember your first crisis after you came to stay with us?"

Olivia has had many crisis over the years so she couldn't say for sure if she remembered that exact one or what would be so significant about it.

She shook her head no.

"Well I do," Harrison says, "I remember coming into your room because you hadn't come downstairs in a while. I remember seeing you shake and claim nothing was wrong. I remember you lying to me and blaming it on period cramps. Then I remember after hours of you suffering alone, you finally told me the truth. You told me about your sickle cell anemia and explained that you were going through a pain crisis. You asked me not to tell anyone because all of the foster homes you were in before never took you back in after your hospital stints."

"Okay. I get it," Olivia quickly stated, knowing where he was going with this.

"You almost died, Olivia!"

"I didn't almost die," Olivia stated calmly.

Three months after moving in with Ms. Estelle, Olivia had her first sickle cell crisis. She did her best to hide it because she didn't want a repeat of her last few foster home experiences. Olivia would stay somewhere for weeks, a couple months even but as soon as she had a crisis that required her to spend some time in the hospital, she would come out and be shipped to a different place.

Olivia liked it at Ms. Estelle's place and was just getting use to having a normal life when it happened. She started feeling pains that she tried to ignore for the first day and a half. Harrison noticed her hiding away in her room and she initially lied to him about what was wrong with her. She asked him to not tell Ms. Estelle and he didn't. Two very painful days went by. All Olivia remembers is feeling really drowsy and drained. She swore she only shut her eyes for a moment but when she woke up, she was in the hospital. Harrison had found her unresponsive when he came in from school. He called for an ambulance and she was rushed to the hospital. She had been there for almost seventeen hours when she finally woke up.

"You wouldn't wake up," Harrison says. "I should have said something when I first seen you in pain but I waited two days and you almost died."

Olivia hated that he carried that with him all these years.

"You know that's not your fault right?"

"I know, but I also know that you are stubborn and independent. You rather suffer alone than to let anyone help you."

"I appreciate all that you do for me-"

"Leave it right there," he cuts her off, "You are my sister so as long as I live, I'm going to be looking after you."

Olivia smiled at him and decided to drop it. They would never agree on this particular situation. She knew he meant well but she didn't need a babysitter.

"Nina," he motioned to her earbuds.

"You know it is always Nina."

"I keep telling you that you should try Billie."

"Billie is fine but you know I write better to Nina. It's something about her voice that just brings out the best in me."

"How's the book coming?"

"Slow but it's coming?"

"What's it about?"

"I don't know yet."

"Sounds like another best seller."

"Shut up," she threw the pillow she had been using at him.

"Tell me what you got so far. You know it helps when you talk through it."

"I had this idea for a series of love letters. That idea lead me to wanting to write about this older interracial couple. The love letters tell a story of their first twenty five years together since when they met in 1947, it was illegal for them to be together. Each chapter is going to start with a love letter from either by one of my two main characters. After the love letter we get into what is actually happening during that time. The fun part for me is that the letters aren't just love letters. Each letter is going to set up the drama that is going to happen in the chapter. It goes through different issues that Billie and Graham are facing."

"Billie, eh?"

"I did that just for you."

"You premise sounds interesting. I just don't know how it fits in with your other two fiction books."

"Me either. That's why it's coming, slowly. I don't know how my readers will appreciate the time period and issues brought up in this story. It's a love story but not with the fluffy that comes with modern day love stories. It is a hard, uncomfortable, painful, difficult, devastating, life changing, extraordinary love story."

"I'm sold," Harrison said.

"Haha."

"No, I'm serious. The way you described it; uncomfortable, painful, difficult, devastating, life changing, all of those words can be used to describe the time period in which they met and fell in love. That's what carries the story. That is the drama surrounding their love. Also a theme that ties in with your last two books is time. When is the right time to fall in love? How much time do we have together?"

"Look at you, using them college English classes to your advantage."

"I have to keep up with you," Harrison laughed.

When his laughter subsided, Olivia says, "My dad invited us to dinner on Sunday."

"Finally. I thought I was never going to get a chance to meet pops. How is that going by the way?"

"It's going. I visit like twice a week to get out of the house."

"I'm sensing a _but_."

"Nothing. It's nice. It's just a little, hard watching him with his family."

"You're family," Harrison corrected.

"I didn't get the happy childhood. I get it. I understand why he couldn't take care of me but it doesn't stop it from hurting. I feel like I'm on the outside looking in. It's hard watching him be this amazing father to Isabelle. She has a healthy mother and a father who is there for her."

Olivia's mother had sickle cell anemia and she died from complications relating to the blood disorder. Olivia had inherited the blood disorder from both her parents. Her father has a sickle cell trait and her mother had the full disorder so she ended up with it.

Her early years in life she didn't have many problems. When she was five she had her first pain crisis that landed her in the hospital. Olivia had to learn quickly that she couldn't do everything that most kids could do. With pain crises now hitting both Olivia and her mother, Eli was left to care for both of them, and it started to quickly take a toll on him. When Olivia's mother got sick the last time and it was known that she wasn't going to make it, Eli really couldn't handle it. After her mother's death, Eli reached out to a social worker to say that he couldn't care for Olivia properly. He tried to explain to her why she was leaving but at the time Olivia didn't understand. She gets the toll that dealing with the sickness could have had on him but that still didn't make Olivia feel better. Yes, it was hard on him but it was harder on because she was actually dealing with the pain and the illness.

"Do you know how lucky you are to actually have biological family?"

"I know that I am lucky but it still hurts. And I feel like an outsider."

"Don't overthink it," he said simply, "We can't change yesterday. All we can do is live today and work towards a better tomorrow."

"God, you sound like a motivational speaker who threw up on a Hallmark card."

"Don't sleep on my knowledge and my ability to motivate."

"I think you missed your calling."

"Nope. I doing exactly what I was meant to be doing," Harrison looked down at his watch. "Speaking of, I need to be getting back to work."

He stood up and started cleaning up his plate.

"Did you find a doctor yet?" Harrison asked from the kitchen.

"No," she said.

"Liv," he began to scold.

"I know. I have to get on top of it and I will."

Harrison walked back into the living room and went over to his bag. He pulled out a folder and handed it to her.

"I figured you probably wouldn't have found a doctor yet so I looked up a few for you. You can start looking into them and see which one would be a good fit for you."

"What would I do without you?"

"I don't know but it's a good thing we will never know," Harrison threw his bag over his shoulder. "I'll see you later."

"Bye."

* * *

"Did you talk to Karen?"

"I did," Fitz sat back in his office chair. He was trying to not get agitated with his ex-wife. He really didn't feel like dealing with the dramatics of Melody Grant.

"And? What did she say?"

"She told me what you said to her," he stated calmly, "She told me that you called her unreasonable and selfish and said that she is trying to fit into a family that is not really hers."

He heard Mellie sigh.

"Why would you say that to her? That's low, Mel, even for you."

"It was said in frustration."

"Being frustrated is not an excuse."

"I'm not trying to make excuses. It's been years. I've given her time to come to terms with things. Andrew wants a relationship with her."

Fitz pulled the phone away from his ear. This was still a very touchy subject for him. He never had a chance to fully process his hurt and anger about the paternity of his daughter. There was so much that he gave up because he was going to be a father. Fitz wanted to travel after school, study art abroad. But all that got cancelled out because he was going to be a father. He got married and never left Vermont outside of a few family vacations. He loved living here and his life was for the most part great but he just knew that his life would have been so much different if Mellie hadn't lied.

The way that Mellie just talked with no regard for his feelings on the matter was crazy to him. It was as if she thought so much time had passed that this wasn't a problem for him anymore. When it first came out, everyone was more concerned for Karen and making sure she lived. They never addressed the issue.

Fitz put the phone back up to his ear and Mellie was still talking as if she didn't even miss him on the phone.

"Don't put me in the middle of whatever you have going on with Karen," his voice was calmer than he felt.

"She listens to you, Fitz."

"I know but that is because I talk to her and treat her like a person."

"How can I talk to her if she is not talking to me?"

"You talk at her or down to her. She is a grown woman. You can't force her to have a relationship with Andrew if she doesn't want one. It's unfortunate because he didn't know she existed for years but none of this is anyone's fault but your own. You can't bully her into talking to him and you damn sure can't ask me to talk her into it."

"Fitz-"

"No, Mellie. You have to be the one to fix this. It is very selfish and inconsiderate of you to ask me to talk to Karen about this."

"Really, Fitz?"

"Really," he sighed, "It is so hard to believe that someone as smart as you can be so clueless."

"No need to insult me, Fitz."

Fitz pinched the bridge of his nose.

"I'm not trying to insult you," his voice was back to being completely calm.

Mellie truly got under his skin but Fitz always wanted to keep things in a good place because they had to co-parent their son together. He would be lying if he said there wasn't some resentment there on his part. He would never forgive her for lying to him for years. If she felt like she needed help, she could have asked him because they were at least friends in school. But to lie to him for years. Finding out Karen wasn't his biological dirt hurt like nothing that he ever felt before, and it was a constant pain. It had been four years since he found out and it had not gotten any better. The feeling of life being sucked out of him was still very strong.

"I just don't want to be in the middle of what you two are going through."

They talked for a little while longer before Fitz ended the call. He couldn't spend his whole work day on the phone. He had to prepare to meet with Ms. Ross to go over the final designs for her website with her.

* * *

Olivia was sitting in the back of the Book Café. She came here twice a week just to get out of the house. She was in the middle of writing a love letter from the year 1947. It was exciting to put herself in the mind of a seventeen year old girl from the past. This was the best part about writing for Olivia. Having the power to create a new world, and people, and to actually get to live in this life she created through her characters.

Olivia looked up from her iPad at the same time that a man passed her for the third time. He stared at a piece of paper in his hand and then back at the bookshelf. The look of deep concentration on his face almost made her want to smile.

When he looked back at the paper, Olivia don't know why but she spoke up.

"Do you need help finding something?"

"That obvious, huh," he flashed a lopsided smile.

"You circled this area three times so yeah, it's pretty obvious," Olivia stood up and walked over to him.

"I'm trying to help my brother out. My niece has a list of books she needs to get for her quarter reading list," he handing her the piece of paper.

Olivia looked over the list and immediately spotted three books that she knew weren't in this row of books. She walked over to the next row of shelves.

Fitz followed behind her. He found himself giving her the once over as she searched the bookshelf. His eyes traveled up from her calves to her ass and back again. He didn't want to stare so he looked away.

"Do you work here?"

"No. I just come here a few times a week and sit in this section. I kind of know this section," she grabbed a book off the shelf, "The other two, I believe should be in the next two rows."

Fitz followed behind her as she moved to the next row of books.

"So you just sit here helping waiting for random people to need help with books."

"No. I come here to read and write and get out of the house."

"This is going to sound so weird but do I know you?"

"No," Olivia said quickly.

"Your voice just sounds really familiar."

"I just moved here about a month and a half ago so I doubt that you know me."

Olivia searched for the other two books for him. She quickly found them and handed them to him.

"Do you want the other four books too?"

"I think this is enough, thanks. I can use the other four books as an excuse to come see you again."

 _Why the hell did I say that?_ Fitz thought. He stared at her, fully noticing more than just her legs and ass since being in her presence. She was beautiful, even in just jeans and a t-shirt.

 _Was he flirting with me?_ Before she had a chance to even think about what he said, she heard a squeal. Olivia and Fitz turned to the noise.

"Karen, what's the matter?"

Completely ignoring her father, "Oh my God. Olivia Pope. This is so crazy, amazing but crazy. What are you doing here?"

Olivia wasn't expecting that. She knew she had people that who read her books—she hated saying fans because it made her sound pretentious—but outside of book tours she rarely had people notice her on the street.

Turning to Fitz, "How do you know her?"

"She was helping me find books for Emily," he said, "How do you know her?"

Karen glared at him. She turned to Olivia, "Still Waters changed my life. I was in a car accident before my high school graduation. I was really falling into a depression because I didn't get to walk and I had a lot of recovery ahead of me that was going to prolong me starting college. It was a lot happening at once. A friend gave me your book and it completely changed my outlook on life. It is what made me want to be a writer."

"Wow," Olivia didn't know what to say since this rarely happened. "I'm glad my book was able to help you through that difficult time in your life."

Olivia had written three books, two fiction books and one book of short essays about her life. It wasn't an autobiography because she hadn't done enough in her life yet. But Still Waters, was her way of dealing with some of her demons. It was therapeutic for her. She was happy that her most personal book, was able to help her through whatever she was struggling with.

"This is totally corny but can I please have your autograph."

"Sure."

Karen dug in her bag, looking for a pen and paper. Fitz looked between Karen and Olivia before letting his gaze settled on Olivia.

Karen pulled out a pen and a copy of Olivia's book and handed it to Olivia.

"Can I also get an autograph for my friend. She wouldn't forgive me if I didn't get her one as well."

"What's her name?"

"Samara."

Olivia signed the book and another separate sheet of paper that Karen had given her.

"So what brings you to town?"

"My dad lives here so I came to spend some time with him and work on my next book."

Karen thought for a moment.

"Is Eli Pope your father?"

"Yes."

"This is so crazy. I never knew that. I'm in here all the time and, God, this is amazing."

Fitz felt like a voyeur in their conversation so excused himself to go pay for the books. Karen and Olivia talked for a few minutes longer, talking books and with Karen given Olivia lots of praise for her work.

* * *

Olivia walked the halls of Edmunds elementary school looking for room 207. Olivia swore that she saw every room with a 2 in it except 207. After passing room 214 twice, Olivia stopped at a sign on the wall to make sure that she was going in the right direction. According to the sign room 207 was down the same hall she just walked down twice.

"You look lost."

Olivia turned at the familiar sounding voice. She was met by a pair of blue eyes peering at her. It was the guy she helped in the bookstore.

"That obvious," she says almost mirroring what he said in the bookstore.

"Maybe a little," he chuckled. "Your eyebrows kind of knitted together and I can see the swear word forming in your head."

"I'm looking for room 207. It says it is down this hall but I've been up and down the hall twice and I don't see it."

"Well you're in luck because we're heading to room 207."

It was then that Olivia noticed the little boy standing next to him.

"Hi," she says.

"Hi," Teddy says.

"We have to stop meeting like this," Fitz said as they started walking down the hall, "Either I'm confused and can't find something or you're lost."

Olivia smiled at him.

"I'm Fitz," he formally introduced himself.

"Olivia."

"Pope," he finished for her, "The writer. I remember."

"I'm Teddy, like the bear."

Olivia smiled.

"Very nice to meet you, Teddy, like the bear."

"They should really change that sign," Fitz says, "207 is down here but it's through those doors that look like a janitor closet. If you have never been here it is easy to get mixed up."

Fitz held the door open for her. On the other side of the door was exactly one classroom on the left side, a huge bulletin board on the right side, and stairs that would lead you down to the main floor.

"This is different," Olivia said, but what she really meant was this layout was completely stupid. How was anyone supposed to know there was a single set of double doors that looked like your standard janitor closet.

Olivia walked to the door of the classroom with Fitz and Teddy right behind her.

When Isabelle saw her, she smiled and quickly stood up. A dark haired girl with curly hair stood up as well and Olivia wondered if she was supposed to pick up two girls.

The teacher stood up and walked to the door with the girls.

"Hi. I'm Ms. Baker," she extended her hand to Olivia.

"Olivia," she shook her hand.

"You're here to pick up Isabelle," her tone made it hard to tell if she was asking a question or making a statement.

"Yeah."

"Where is Mrs. Pope?"

"She got held up at work so she asked me to pick up Isabelle."

Olivia could respect her concern for this complete stranger to be picking up one of her students. You could never be too safe these days.

"How do you know Isabelle?"

"I'm her sister."

"She has mentioned you a few times in her daily journal prompts. It's nice to finally meet you."

Ms. Baker said hello to Fitz and bye to her students before walking back to her desk.

"Hey Liv," Isabelle walked towards her with the little dark haired girl behind her. "This is my friend Emily. Emily, this is my big sister Olivia," she introduced the two.

"Hello."

"Hello," Emily smiled politely. "Hey uncle Fitz. Where's my mom?"

"Your brother had a doctor's appointment so I'm on pick up duty today."

"Fitz, did you meet my sister?"

"I did, Izzy-Belle."

Isabelle giggled at his use of nickname for her. Her mother called her Belle and her dad called her Izzy. She had no preference since both were used to address her. Since Emily was her best friend, she spent a lot of time with her and her family. One day Fitz had asked her which name she preferred and she told him that either was fine. He has been calling her Izzy-Belle ever since.

"We actually walked down together because Olivia couldn't find your classroom since it's located in the land of the forgotten."

 _This was a really small town_ , Olivia thought. What are the chances that the stranger she helped in the bookstore would be the uncle of her little sister's friend?

"Did you two come together?" Emily asked.

"No," Olivia and Fitz said in unison.

Emily and Isabelle stared at them.

"Can we get something to eat?" Emily asked.

"Ooh pizza," Teddy chimed in.

"Yeah, we can get pizza."

"Can Belle and Olivia come too?"

Fitz started at his niece who smiled at him innocently.

"You have to ask them."

"Olivia, can we go?" Isabelle asked.

Suddenly all eyes were on Olivia. She looked at Fitz, trying to read his facial expression.

"I would have to ask your mom if that is okay," Olivia said.

"Call her and ask her," Isabelle said.

Olivia took out her phone and dialed the number for the bookstore. Olivia waited with all eyes on her. When someone finally picked up, she asked to speak with Maria. She held for a moment as she waited for Maria to get on the phone.

Fitz found himself staring at Olivia's lips as she talked. He didn't know what it was about her but he was intrigued. In just the two times that he had been around her, Fitz had always found a new part of her body to take in. She was really beautiful and he was mesmerized by the smallest gestures she would make.

Olivia ended her call.

"I guess we're going for pizza."

* * *

 **A/N: Don't hate me for living it right there. I will write about there pizza outing in the next chapter. Please review and tell me what you think. Do you like the flow of this story so far or do you think I'm moving too fast because I had them meet already?**


	3. Not My Type At All

**Not My Type At All**

" _I am something else when she says my name. Heaven bound, I lose myself. But she's not my type at all. No she's not my type at all. She's got pieces of me, wrapped around her fingers. She's got pieces, wrapped around her fingertips. Started slow but moving quickly to her heaven, heaven._ "—Jacob Whitesides

* * *

Fitz was staring. He couldn't help himself as he sat just about three feet away from Olivia across a table at Marco's Pizza. Fitz watched her as she jotted down something in a small notebook. He wondered what she was writing and if they had been alone he would have asked her but the three young children with them kept him from prying.

Olivia looked up from her notebook before Fitz had a chance to look away. She caught him staring at her and immediately felt self-conscious. His curious stare brought her back to the here and now.

"I get random ideas from places, people, and things that I see so I write them down because they can be useful when I've hit the block," Olivia felt the need to explain, "Writer's block," she clarified realizing that ' _hit the block_ ' could sound like slang for selling drugs but then again who would think she was selling drugs?

"I heard once about marathon racing that if you don't pace yourself, you'll hit a wall and it is impossible to finish because you can't get over, around or through that wall," she further clarified.

"So you call your writer's block ' _hitting the block_ '," he said completely understanding.

"Yes," she nodded.

"What idea did you get from this place?"

"The decor and feel of this place gave me the idea for this night club set in the forties."

"Is that for your new book?"

"Yeah."

"What's it about?"

Olivia hesitated for a moment. She wasn't use to explaining her book ideas to anyone except Harrison. Harrison knew her long enough to get her ideas out of her with ease. Olivia didn't know how her ideas would sound to someone else.

Before she had the chance to answer, a waiter was at their booth sitting the pizza down.

"Thank you," Fitz said.

"Not a problem," the waiter said, "Can I get anyone any refills?"

"More orange soda, please," Teddy held his glass up.

"I'll have another water," Olivia handed her glass to the waiter.

"I'll be right back with your drinks."

Olivia looked at the pizza as Fitz gave out slices to the kids.

"You never had a taco pizza?" Emily asked Olivia.

"No, I haven't."

"You're going to love it," Isabelle said.

"It's like they combine the two best foods in the world," Teddy chimed in.

Olivia wasn't really hungry and just from looking at the pizza, it looked like it wasn't the healthiest thing she could eat.

Olivia grabbed the smallest piece just as the waiter returned with their refills. They ate in silence for a while before the questions started to flow.

"Is she your real sister?" Emily asked Isabelle.

Isabelle nodded because she had a mouthful of food.

"How come I never seen her before today?" Emily looked at Olivia, "Is Ms. Maria your mom?"

"No. Eli is my dad."

"How old are you? Because I thought Mr. Eli was kinda old and if you are his daughter than he must be really old," Emily said.

"Emily," Fitz scolded gently, "You're not supposed to ask someone their age."

"It's fine," Olivia said laughing. "I'm thirty one."

Fitz made a mental note of her age.

"You're almost my mom's age. She's thirty five. Do you have any kids?"

"No."

"How come I never seen you before today?"

"I just moved here a few weeks ago."

"Where did you live before here?"

"I lived in New York."

"I visited New York before. It was really fun. I want to live there when I grow up."

"It's a great city."

"Have you been to m&m world? It is my favorite place to go to in New York."

"I have. My mind was completely blown when I went there. I use to go at least twice a month when I lived in the city."

Fit couldn't help but watch Olivia as she answered every one of Emily's many questions. There was something about the way she obliged all of the curious eight year old's questions that endeared her to him even more.

Somewhere in the middle of his staring, he started to imagine having alone time with Olivia. Time away from the kids, time where he could find out everything about her. What was her favorite color? Her favorite food? Did she like it here? Did she want kids? That was too far. Before Fitz had a chance to properly chastise his mind, he felt Emily nudge him.

"Yes?" He looked at her.

"I said you're staring. It's rude to stare."

"Sorry. My mind was elsewhere."

Olivia blushed and Fitz swore it was the cutest thing he had ever seen. Fitz knew in that moment that he wanted to spend the rest of his life making this woman smile.

* * *

Fitz focused on the words on his computer screen as he read Olivia Pope's bio. He wanted to know everything about the woman who he kept crossing paths with. There was not much about her personal life. She wasn't on a bunch of social media sites, with the exception of Twitter, Instagram, and her personal website, she had almost no internet presence.

As he read her bio he learned that she was born in New York, went to college in DC, started freelance writing while in college, did an internship at HarperCollins that turned into a job. She worked as an editorial assistant for three years before getting published. She loves to travel and still does work as a freelance writer and editor from time to time.

Olivia Pope was still very much a mystery to him.

Fitz looked through her website and found the section with all of her past articles in. He clicked the first one, _A Motherless Child_ and began reading.

 _ **Motherless Child**_ by Olivia C. Pope

 _ **Sometimes I feel like a motherless child**_

 _ **Sometimes I feel like a motherless child**_

 _ **Sometimes I feel like a motherless child**_

 _ **Long way from my home**_

 _ **Sometimes I wish I could fly**_

 _ **Like a bird up in the sky**_

 _ **Oh, sometimes I wish I could fly**_

 _ **Fly like a bird up in the sky**_

 _ **Sometimes I wish I could fly**_

 _ **Like a bird up in the sky**_

 _ **Closer to my home**_

 _Those are the some of the lyrics of a traditional Negro spiritual, "Sometimes I Feel Like a Motherless Child." The song is an expression of pain and despair as it conveys the hopelessness of a child who has been torn from their parents. The repetitive singing of the word "sometimes" offers a measure of hope, as it suggests that at least "sometimes" I do not feel like a motherless child. This song resonates with me because I became a motherless child at age twelve when my mother died. Life changed completely for me. Before getting a chance to process my grief, I was thrust head first into the foster care system._

As Fitz read the essay style article, he got his first glimpse into Olivia Pope but also brought up more questions. Her mother had died when she was twelve and as a result she ended up spending five years in the foster care system.

Fitz got lost in her words. The way that she tied together stories of different children that had been in the foster care system with statistical facts about being in foster care and what adulthood was like for a person who grew up in foster care. She shared a little about herself, using her story to connect everything.

A knock on his office door interrupted his reading. Fitz looked up as his brother walked in.

"Hey. What's up?"

"How close are you to being done with your presentation for Caldwell campaign?"

"It's about 60% of the way done. Why do you ask?"

"What will it take to get in to 100% done by tomorrow?"

Fitz stared at his brother blankly.

"Henry called dad personally because they need to move the meeting up to tomorrow. The campaign is going full speed ahead with their fundraising gala so they need the ads ready yesterday."

Fitz sighed, rubbing his hand across his face.

"I know," Benjamin said. "What do you need?"

"I need for dad not to make promises that I specifically said would not be done until next week just because his golfing buddy asked him."

"Henry is his oldest friend."

"I don't give a shit. Henry Caldwell is pushing it."

"I called a meeting with the design team for three o'clock. Tori and Jason are on their way. We are ready to pull an all nighter if you need us to."

Fitz was beyond annoyed but sulking wasn't going to get the work done. He had a deadline to meet so he had to get the work.

"I'm sure we can get it done in a reasonable amount of time."

"Great. I'm going to go finish some paperwork. I'll see you in a bit."

Benjamin left Fitz's office and Fitz reached for his phone, he had to make arrangements to have Teddy picked up since he was going to be working late.

* * *

Olivia held the toy phone up to her ear as she had a pretend phone conversation with Zoe. The two year old was very talkative today, hogging up most of their fifteen minute conversation. Olivia was in awe of this beautiful little girl who she had watched grow from just a positive pregnancy test to a two year old capable of having a conversation of toy cell phones.

"Harrison said he should be here like twenty minutes," Quinn said as she walked back into the living room.

Today was the day that Harrison, Quinn, and Zoe would get to meet Olivia's father, sister, and stepmother. They were going to have dinner at Eli's home and Olivia was, as usual, a bucket of nerves. She had only been to her father's house once since moving here but after that one time, she had been so uncomfortable, not because of anything her dad had done but getting a chance to see the life that she never had depressed her.

"How was your doctor's appointment?"

"It was good. She seems nice. It was a first time visit so we just went over medical history, how I have been feeling lately, you know, the usual stuff."

Quinn nodded. She knew all too well what the usual stuff was.

"Harrison was a little pissed that you scheduled your appointment when he had to work."

"He'll get over it."

Harrison knew by now that Olivia wasn't trying to take over his whole life with her health issues. Olivia had been dealing with this her whole life so she didn't need a chaperone. She would fill him in later when he asked.

"I met a guy," Olivia changed the subject.

"You met a guy? What's his name? Where did you meet him?"

"His name is Fitz and I met him at the bookstore. He was looking for a book for his niece and I helped him find it. Then I ran into him when I went to pick up Isabelle from school the other day and he helped me find her classroom. Turns out that his niece and my little sister are very close friends. We went out for pizza with kids; my sister, his niece, and his son."

"Oh you REALLY met a guy. Already went on a first date and everything."

"It wasn't a date."

"Right, because you don't date."

"Exactly."

Olivia didn't date. It was easier that way. It was easier to not burden anyone with her and her sickness.

"But you're bringing it up now so I'm to believe this pizza outing was a highlight of your week so far."

"It's nice to meet new people," Olivia said with a shrug of her shoulder. In truth she enjoyed the impromptu pizza outing.

"When are you seeing him again?"

"I'm not."

"Why? Is he married?"

Olivia shrugged but she knew he wasn't. She didn't see a wedding ring on his finger when she shamelessly looked at dinner.

"He's probably not if he is going out for pizza with other women," Quinn thought out loud.

"It doesn't really matter."

"I don't know. I think this place is going to be different for you. It is going to be good here. This feels final."

"I hope so."

A part of Olivia was tired of moving around but she didn't plan to settle until she found a place that felt like home. She wasn't so sure if this place was it but she was willing to give it a try.

* * *

Olivia didn't know how she could feel so out of place in a room full of family. As she sat the dinner table in her father's home with Harrison and Quinn, Olivia felt so out of place. She an intruder, a voyeur watching conversations happen around her.

Olivia, Harrison, and Quinn had been at the Pope household for almost two hours. In that time they enjoyed dinner and light conversation. The people in her life blended well; Eli acted like Harrison was the son he never had, Maria and Quinn talked home decor, food, and motherhood. Even the children partnered off, Isabelle loved Zoe instantly and treated her like a precious little doll, Zoe being the lovable two year old that she is was happy to be with a big girl. And then there was Olivia, right in the middle, blending her families together and still feeling out of place.

Olivia excused herself from the table and headed to the bathroom. Once in the bathroom she pulled out her phone and dialed a number. After three rings, the familiar male voice picked up.

"Hello."

"Stephen, sorry to call you so late."

"You know you can call me any time, Liv. What's up?"

"I'm having a crisis."

"A pain crisis?"

"It is a mixture. I am at my dad's house for dinner. I introduced him and his wife and my sister to Harrison, Quinn, and Zoe."

"Okay. What's the problem?"

"I feel so out of place here. Being in his home makes me feel anxiety. I thought that it would be better because Harrison and Quinn would be here with me but this place makes me feel uncomfortable. I have been here almost two months and we have yet to just sit down and talk. I can't be here and pretend that everything is okay because we haven't resolved anything."

"Why haven't you talked to him?"

"I can't get the words out. A part of me is scared. I don't know. I shouldn't have moved here. I should have just left this alone. I shouldn't have looked for him."

"Don't say that."

"Nothing changes if we talk."

"You can't say that because you haven't tried to talk to him," Stephen stated, "What is the worst thing that you think can happen if you talk?"

"I don't feel like I belong here. I don't feel like I'm his child. It's like I'm watching this man and his family."

"This is new for you, Olivia. It is going to take time for you to adjust to this change. But before it can even start to feel right to you, you have to be open and talk to your father. You cannot let your fear rule you. He has welcomed you with open arms because he wants a relationship with you. Get out of your head and let it happen."

Olivia was silent for a moment as she took in his words.

"Thanks Stephen."

"No problem. You know I am only a phone call away. How bad is your pain?"

"It's a five but I'm fine. It was just the anxiety and even a little pain doesn't work together."

"You know how stress does you," he started.

"I know. I am taking care of myself."

"I hope so."

"I have to go. I came into the bathroom to make this call."

"Don't be afraid to call me. You don't have to be having a life crisis for us to talk. I care about you."

Olivia smiled. She promised that she would call him more and hung up the phone. When Olivia stepped out of the bathroom she was met by Harrison.

"Is everything okay?"

"Everything is great."

They walked back to the dining room.

"Is everything okay?" Eli asked.

It had been the first time since she had been back in his life that Eli showed any concern about her and it warmed Olivia's heart.

"Everything is fine."

Eli smiled at his daughter.

"Who's ready for dessert? I made my signature peach cobbler."

"It's really good," Isabelle said.

Eli stood and walked into the kitchen to get dessert ready.

"I love your dad," Harrison whispered to Olivia before heading into the kitchen.

* * *

Fitz was exhausted. He had spent the last five hours working with his team to get two weeks of work done because the mayor of needed a deadline moved up on such short notice. He and his team had to finish editing forty five minute video for the mayor's new community and educational outreach program, as well as get shorter commercial segments and promotional samples for the event. Tomorrow he would have to meet with the mayor's team to present the ads for review and to see if they wanted anything changed.

The moment Fitz got into the house, he knew he wasn't going to make it upstairs. He opted to just crash on the couch. He couldn't have had his eye closed more than ten minutes when Karen's voice woke him from the sleep he was getting comfortable in.

"You went out for pizza with Olivia Pope?"

Fitz opened one eye and looked up at his daughter.

"Hello," he said closing his eye again.

"Hey. Answer the question."

"I did."

"Why didn't you call me?"

Fitz opened his eyes. He knew that he wasn't going to get to sleep because clearly Karen wanted to talk.

"I still can't believe that Eli Pope is her dad. It's weird now that I have a face to her father now. I found it hard to sympathize with him after reading the ' _Daddyless Daughters_ ' section in _Still Waters_. I just thought he was a piece of shit because I don't understand how someone could just abandon their child."

Fitz interest was piqued as he listened to Karen talk about how crazy it was to have been this close to Olivia Pope without even knowing it.

"I come in there twice a week and I have even had him order one of her books for me but he never mentioned her."

"In the bookstore you said her book changed your life. What's the book about?"

"It is a book of essays and short stories about her life."

"The section about her father says what exactly?"

"She mentioned that after her mother passed away she went into foster care and she wondered for a long time why her father never fought for her. She talked about growing up from her teen years into adulthood with neither one of her parents or any biological family and the way she learned the world. The experience shaped her outlook on life."

"Do you have the book?"

"It should be in my car."

"I'd like to read it."

Karen stared at him.

"You talk about her writing with such enthusiasm that I'm curious."

"I'm not twelve. You don't have to lie to me."

"I'm not."

"I'll go get it for you."

"It can wait until the morning because I'm not going to read it right now."

"When are you going to see her again?"

"I'm not."

"Okay," Karen chuckled, unconvinced.

Karen saw right through her dad. He could try to casual about it but his eyes gave him away. At the very least, he was smitten with Olivia Pope.

* * *

Fitz sat in the waiting room outside of the Mayor's office. The mayor had gotten backed up with a conference call so his appointment had been pushed back fifteen minutes.

"What are you reading?"

Fitz looked up from his book after hearing his little sister's voice. He had honestly forgotten that she was here with him.

"This book by one of Karen's favorite authors," he held up the book so she could see the cover. "She said the book changed her life so I had to give it a read."

"What's it about?"

"It's small personal essays about the author. It is a little about her life and her journey to becoming a writer."

"Who is the author?"

"Olivia Pope."

"I've never heard of her."

"I think she is fairly new."

"I might have to check her out."

"The mayor is just finishing up his call and will be ready to start in five minutes. I can show you to the conference room to get set up," the mayor's personal assistant Ethan said to them, seemingly appearing out of nowhere.

Fitz and Victoria stood and followed Ethan down the hall. Ethan left them in the conference room and they took their seats and continued to wait.

"Are you ready? Yesterday you were kind of all over the place."

"Yeah," he nodded, "I just hate doing things on short notice. But I'm confident in the work that we did."

The door opened and in walked the mayor Samuel Caldwell, his father senator Henry Caldwell, and another man who Fitz had never met before. Fitz and Victoria stood up and greeted the men. It didn't go unnoticed to Fitz how long Sam held his sister in the hug.

"This is Harrison Wright. He is our new community outreach liaison."

"Fitzgerald Grant," Fitz offered his hand and Harrison shook it. "This is my sister, Victoria."

"Hello," Tori shook his hand.

"It's nice to meet you both," Harrison said as they all took their seats.

"The folders in front of you have samples of your ads for your fundraiser. We have five promo spots for your new educational outreach program and the forty five minute video highlighting all of the work that you have done and working towards with all the new programs you will be starting."

"You're jumping right in there, Tori," Sam said.

"You have a town to run. There is no need to take up more of your time."

Fitz sat back and let his sister take the lead. She knew how to handle Sam Caldwell.

"For you, darling, I have all the time in the world."

Before Tori could say something, Henry Caldwell spoke.

"Flirt with Victoria on your own time, Sammy."

Henry looked at Victoria.

"Whenever you're ready, you can start the video."

Fitz picked up the remote in front of him and turned on the monitor in the front of the room. The sooner they got started, the sooner they could be done.

* * *

It had become a weekend ritual for Olivia to stay up late and listen to Matters of the Heart radio show. She had developed a small crush on deep baritone voice that came into her home three nights a week. She tried to imagine what he looked like. She pictured him as being a very rugged type of man

 **On the radio:** _Welcome back to Matters of the Heart. I'm your host Tommy G and before the break we were about to read a letter from a viewer. Dear Tommy G, I recently met someone who I am attracted to but I am unsure if I should pursue a relationship with them. I have seen the person a few times around town and we have talked on few occasions. Conversation with this person is easy but a little confusing because I am sure that the flirtation is mutual but neither one of us have acted on the feelings that I know are there. I will shamelessly admit that I have looked him up online. I am intrigued by him but cautious. I am a divorced, single mother and from the digging that I have done, he has a bit of a dark past. Not criminal or crazy but he didn't have the best upbringing and it affects him still to this day. Although I want to pursue a relationship with this person, I am unsure if it is the best thing for both of us. I don't know what to do. Should I pursue a relationship that I know will be an uphill climb? Or should I just leave it be? In need of help, Seeking love in a safe space._

As Olivia listened to the letter, it sounded oddly similar. She picked up the phone and dialed the number that she had become familiar with over the last few weeks.

 **On the radio:** _We're taking callers who have advice for Seeking love in a safe space. So call in to give your advice 802-215-0520._

Since her first call in to the radio station, Olivia had called in to the show five times. It was becoming a thing she looked forward to on the weekends. Olivia got through and was greeted with another familiar voice who patched her in as caller number two.

As she waited to be patched in, she listened to another caller give their advice.

 **Caller #1:** _I think that Seeking love in a safe space should not pursue a relationship with this person. Being a parent, she has to think about her child first and foremost. If she has even the slightest feeling caution, then she should not proceed. She has to go with her gut._

Olivia thought that the caller sounded a little sanctimonious. Just because the viewer was looking for love in a not so perfect man didn't mean that dating him would impede on her ability to be a mother to her child.

"If it isn't my favorite caller," Olivia heard the baritone voice coming through her phone, "How are you, Carolyn?"

"I'm great. Just had some thoughts for Seeking love in a safe space."

"Your thoughts are always very insightful, so tell us what you are thinking."

"First off all, your first caller sounded very sanctimonious. I doubt that dating someone who isn't perfect on paper will suddenly turn this woman into a bad mom who doesn't think of her kid first. I think for most people being a single parent, or just a parent in general, you child is always the first thing on your mind," Olivia realized that she was beginning to ramble so she attempted to get to her point. "I think she should go for it. If the feelings are mutual then a connection will be made and if they both work at it, the relationship that they build can succeed. It won't succeed though if she is already planning for it to end and it sounds like that is what she is doing?"

"How so?"

"She did her homework and knows his background. She is already going in with a perceived image of him and that is only going to do more harm than good. She is not open to getting to know him."

"Everyone looks people up nowadays."

"So because everyone does it that makes it right?"

"No but it is a normal thing for someone to do who is entering the dating scene in the 21st century. Haven't you seen Catfish?"

"Normal is overrated. I have heard of Catfish but I will not confirm or deny if I have saw the show. But that is bad example because they know each other and have talked. This isn't a catfish situation."

"So you're telling me that you have never looked up someone that you are dating?"

"Nope. Never."

"I don't believe you. Everyone has done research on someone they are looking to date."

"Have you?"

"Everyone has," Fitz got a signal that he needed to wrap up the phone call, "Except you, of course."

Olivia was blushing and she didn't know why.

"Thanks for calling in. It's always a pleasure speaking with you."

"I appreciate you allowing me to ramble on about Matters of the Heart."

Olivia knew it was corny the moment she said it but she didn't care. She ended the call and settled back in her

 **On the radio:** _Without sounding biased, I think I have to agree with Carolyn. Relationships are hard but the payoff of trying is worth it. Seeking love in a safe space, I say go for it because you will regret it if don't at least take a chance on love. If we don't at least try to fall in love, then what is it all for?_

Olivia had a permanent smile on her face by the time _Fall For Your Type_ by Jamie Foxx and Drake started playing.

* * *

"Juju," Zoe shouted out.

Olivia looked at where the little girl was pointing grabbed the juice off the shelf. Zoe reached for the juice and Olivia sat it next to her in the front of the cart.

Olivia continued down the aisle picking up items that she needed. Zoe pointing out a few things that she wanted and of course Olivia added them to her cart. Olivia stopped in cereal aisle. She grabbed her regular picks; Cookie Crisp, Apple Jacks, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, and Honey Bunches of Oats.

As she was about to move on to the next aisle, she heard a voice from behind her say, "We have to stop meeting like this, Carolyn."

Olivia froze in place for a second. No one in this town should know her middle name with the exception of her family. Then it clicked that she used her middle name as first name when she called into the radio station. She turned around and her mouth dropped open slightly at the sight of Fitz.

"You call in to a weekend radio show," he started.

"No. You? Really?"

Fitz nodded.

"Oh my God," Olivia looked at Fitz, "Oh my God."

Fitz didn't know how to take her reaction. He was regretting even bringing it up. He had been so proud of himself for figuring it out that he didn't even stop to consider her reaction. Fitz wasn't even planning on bringing it up but then he saw her shopping and decided to just take chance and use his new discovery as a reason to talk to her.

"How did you figure out it was me?" Her tone was more relaxed.

"I couldn't stop feeling like I knew you since the bookstore so it was on my mind a lot. My daughter gave me your book and the back cover had your full name on it."

"So you're Tommy G?"

"Fitzgerald Thomas Grant III."

"Okay. It makes sense now," Olivia nodded, "The viewer letter from Saturday was about us."

It was a statement not a question. Fitz wasn't expecting that so he didn't respond.

"Divorced, single dad," she motions towards him before pointing to herself, "Girl with the dark, troubled past. You've done your research since you've read my book."

Fitz was once again left without knowing how to respond but his silence told her everything she needed to know.

"Good talking to you, Fitz," Olivia walked away.

Watching her get further and further away from him made Fitz's feet finally decide to start working. He went after her.

"Liv, wait."

She continued to walk until he had to use his cart to block her from moving further.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"For what?"

"I'm not exactly sure but you're upset with me."

"I'm not upset."

"You just walked away."

"I didn't have the best upbringing and it affects me still to this day. So although you want to pursue a relationship, you're unsure if it is the best thing for both of us," she repeated his words from his made up fan letter, "It's not. This," she motioned between them, "Cannot work. It will not work."

"If the feelings are mutual then a connection will be made and if they both work at it, the relationship that they build can succeed," Fitz repeated her words from Saturday night.

"You did your homework and now you know my background. You're already going in with a perceived image of me and that is only going to do more harm than good. You're not open to getting to know me because you've done your research."

Two could play the memory game.

"Lib," Fitz and Olivia's attention was now on Zoe.

"Who is cutie?" Fitz asked, partly because the little girl was adorable but more so because he didn't want Olivia to leave.

"This is my goddaughter Zoe," her tone was warmer.

"Hey Zoe," Fitz held his hand out but the little girl just looked at it.

"She is normally really friendly. Maybe you're giving her vibe."

"Well I have some work to do with the both of you."

"I'm a lesbian."

"You're not."

"Are you going to move your cart?"

Fitz moved out of her way.

"I'll see you around, Fitz."

Olivia couldn't help the smile on her face as she walked away. Despite knowing that she couldn't date him, it was an amazing feeling to know that the feelings she felt were mutual.


	4. Second Chances, First Impressions

**Second Chances, First Impressions**

" _My alone feels so good, I'll only have you if you're sweeter than my solitude._ " ―Warsan Shire

* * *

Olivia poured hot water into two different mugs. She carried the mugs into her dining room, sitting one down in front of her dad. She walked back to the kitchen grabbing honey, sugar, and cream.

"You have a lovely home," Eli said as Olivia took her seat.

"Thanks. I really like it. It's big without being overwhelming. I hate big apartments. I always feel like they are swallowing me whole."

Olivia knew she was rambling but she couldn't help. Her father was like a stranger to her—a very important stranger but a stranger nonetheless. Olivia wanted to change that. She wanted to get to know her father so that she could be more comfortable around him. She didn't want to be an outsider looking in. Olivia had it in her mind that she was going to make an effort with her father. The first step was having a long awaited conversation.

Olivia focused on stirring the honey in her tea, not knowing exactly how to start the conversation. If she was going to move pass her reservations, she had to be able to talk to him.

Olivia looked up at him.

"I was nervous about moving here," Olivia admitted. She figured the best way to start the conversation was to just start talking.

"Why?"

"I didn't want disrupt your life."

"You are a part of my life," he said as if it was obvious.

It annoyed her but she decide to ease into the next part because she knew things could go left quick.

"My therapist says in order to move on and have successful relationships in the future, I have to confront my past."

"You have a therapist?"

"That's what happens when you're seventeen in the foster care system and you try to kill yourself."

Olivia watched as his face sank. She could tell that he had put her out of his mind after giving her away. He didn't think of the life that she had, how hard things were for her. It was easier for him that way.

"Why did you give me up?"

"I couldn't take care of you," he said simply, "I'm sorry for that. I just wasn't strong enough mentally to care for you. It started going downhill when my mother died. By the time your mother died, I just couldn't do it anymore."

"Tell me everything, from the beginning. Do I have other family out there?"

For the next thirty minutes, Olivia got the quick rundown of her family history. Her father had been born in Harlem, New York to Carolyn and Joseph Pope. Joe was a U.S. Army intelligence officer so they moved around a lot. Her dad spent most of his early childhood overseas in West Germany and Okinawa. When he was ten years old, his father died and he and his mother moved back to Harlem.

Olivia learned that her mother was not originally from the US. Olivia's grandmother Helene Lewis moved to Paris when she was twenty years old and soon after met Gael Bouvier. After a whirlwind romance, the two were married after five months of dating. They welcomed a child Maya Jelena Lewis-Bouvier two years later. Maya was raised in East London from ages two to sixteen.

When Maya was sixteen she moved to the states to study dance at Juilliard. She lived with her aunt—Helene's older sister—Marie Wallace.

"She was a dancer from England?"

"Eli nodded, "She said she loved dancing because when she danced, she wasn't in pain. She got to use her body in a way that she wanted."

"Why didn't she ever go back home?"

"I like to think it was because she met me but I think she loved the city and the independence it brought her. From what she told me, her mother was overprotective of her because of her sickle cell. It was very freeing being on her own and exploring the world."

Olivia understood completely her mother's need for independence. It's something about being sick that makes you appreciate life and any adventure you get to experience

"Are my grandparents still alive? Aunt Marie?"

"Last I heard they were. I would talk to your grandfather from time to time but I haven't talked to them in like four years."

"What happened? Why did you stop talking to them?"

"Marie and Helene hate me. Mainly Marie. She had hated me since I gave you up. Helene was pissed but understood, or at least I thought. When she found out that I was married again and expecting a child she began to hate me as well. I still talked to your grandfather from time to time but it just stopped one day."

"Good for aunt Marie," Olivia was half joking. She loved that she had someone in her family mad enough to fight for her.

Eli smiled, "I have had my share of tongue lashings from your aunt."

"Why didn't you leave me with aunt Marie?"

"She is a good person but not the best for raising kids. She drinks, smokes, and goes to the casino to gamble. Her lifestyle wasn't suitable to raise a sick child."

Olivia nodded. She appreciated his honesty.

"You tried to kill yourself?"

"I did and I didn't. I was trying to numb my pain and if I died it would have been a bonus."

"What happened?"

"My foster mom who I lived for three years passed away. Harrison was already out of the house and I just knew that they were going to send me to another group home so I ran. I was gone for two days and I drank a lot and took some E and I attempted to take my top off for one of Harrison's friends."

Eli tried to hide his grimace but she saw it.

"What is E?"

"Ecstasy."

Eli had a pained expression on his face.

"Marcus has never let me live that down," she tried to lighten the mood by not going into further detail about her night.

In truth, she had ended up at a college party with a friend of hers from school. After drinking more than a man twice her weight could handle, Olivia had been chatting it up with some frat boy named Jake. He is the one who gave her the ecstasy, and had Marcus not walked in when he did, she probably would have been losing her virginity in a frat house surrounded by people.

Olivia vaguely remembers what happened. One minute she is drinking with her friend, then next thing she knows her friend ditched her for some guy and she was then drinking and talking with Jake. It wasn't an hour into their conversation when he was handing her a pill that he said would make her feel good. As their conversation went on, he showed interest in her sexually. She told him that she was a virgin and he didn't believe her.

Olivia can only say that it was her drug and alcohol induced state that didn't have her fighting him when he wanted to see for himself. That's how Marcus found them, sitting in the corner of a couch with Jake incredibly close to her and his hands in her panties. Whatever the stranger was doing felt good but wrong, the only thing was Olivia couldn't stop him or she didn't want to. She wasn't one hundred percent sure on the details but Olivia knew that she was eternally grateful for Marcus because she would have hated for her first time to happen in such a way that felt out of her control.

Olivia remembers Marcus pulling her out of the party, putting her in his car, and calling Harrison. As she listened to him talk to Harrison, she got upset because in her mind she wasn't a child but he was treating her like one. As he is driving her back to Harrison's place, Olivia got the bright idea to show him how much of a child she wasn't. First by flashing him her breast, which he quickly covered up and next by using her newly found knowledge of her body to finger herself. That made him stop the car and realize that she was on something more than alcohol.

Another call to Harrison was made and Marcus yelled at her. As she listened to him on the phone, Olivia rolled her eyes but when she opened them again her vision was blurry. She blinked a few times and her vision just seemed to get worse. She heard Marcus call her name twice and then there was silence.

When Olivia had woke up, she had been in the hospital for twenty-seven hours. Her body had went into shock from dehydration and alcohol poisoning. She ended up staying in the hospital for a month. In hindsight, going on a bender with sickle cell anemia wasn't the smartest thing to do but she was being a reckless teenager because she in pain.

Somehow Harrison had worked it out with her caseworker for her to stay with him, under the condition that Olivia had to go to therapy.

"Oh, Olivia. I'm so sorry," Eli's voice pierced through her memory.

When she made eye contact with him, she saw the tears in his eyes.

"It wasn't as hard as it seems. It was difficult but I was lucky to be in a really good home for three years."

"And the rest of the time?"

"I went through three group homes, seven foster homes, and nine hospital stays in two years. It's kind of hard to place older kids in homes, even harder if the kid has medical issues."

"You are so strong, Olivia."

"I didn't want to bring this up because I didn't want you to feel bad," Olivia spoke honestly, "I just wasn't sure of my place in your life. You have a beautiful family. They're really nice. It's just sometimes really hard watching the life I didn't get to have."

"They're your family too, Olivia."

It was an obvious statement but Olivia needed to hear it. Eli would never understand how much those words meant to her. Olivia had spent so many years thinking that if her father couldn't accept her than no one could. She was ready to move pass that feeling and in to the open arms of her waiting family.

* * *

Fitz sat across from Abby in his office going over a show idea she had for the following weekend. They normally met once a week for lunch to go over any notes she had for him or things they wanted to do for the show.

Somewhere in the middle of her talking, Fitz had zoned out. His mind was instantly brought back to Olivia. He found that thoughts of her crept into his mind at the most random times. Since he had last saw her, he had read every article of hers that he could find. He had become familiar with her through her writing, and now he wanted to become familiar with her in other ways.

"Where is your head at?" Abby's voice came from

"I'm here."

"You're not. You zoned out on me. Spill it."

"I was just thinking about work related stuff," Fitz lied. "We're handling the mayor's fundraiser for his new education initiative and it's all over the place right now. He wants to have it so quickly so that he can introduce his new plans early enough to look like he isn't just doing it to win votes when reelection time comes."

"He is a politician. Everything is for votes."

"So are you going to be my plus one to the fundraiser?"

"Are you asking me out?"

"I'm asking you to be my plus one."

"You're not my type."

"You're not my type."

"Fuck you, Fitzgerald. I am a catch."

Fitz laughed. There was no doubt in his mind that she was a catch but clearly not for him since Abby was a lesbian, well bisexual because she hooked up with guys but she only had relationships with women. She would never admit it but after a failed marriage due to her husband beating her, Abby didn't seem to have much emotional connection to men. She tried dating a few years after her divorce but the one guy she dated for a year was a nerdy, science teacher looking dude with kinky fetishes.

Abby now enjoyed single life and the occasional hook up.

"I met someone," Fitz blurted out.

Fitz didn't know why he couldn't contain himself. He wanted to tell the world about Olivia Pope.

"Oh God," Abby rolled her eyes.

"Don't be like that."

"You forget that I was here for your post-divorce hoe phase. We are not doing this again."

Fitz chuckled as he remembered the first two years after his divorce. He was in a bad place. He was bitter from being trapped in a marriage and finding out that his daughter wasn't biologically his. He fucked everything above the legal drinking age. It was as if he was making up for all the woman he didn't sleep with while he was married. He slept with sixteen women in two years, most of them being one night stands.

"I have not slept with anyone in a year."

"That's because you fucked enough people to last a lifetime."

"It's really not like that."

"Okay, Fitz. Tell me about this woman. She is over twenty-five, right?"

"You're never going to let me live that down are you?"

"You fucked two twenty-one year olds at the same time."

"That was a really good night."

"You say that now but let some middle age man try to give it to Karen and you will lose your mind."

"First of all, way to be a buzzkill. Secondly, you act like I violated those girls in some way."

"A threesome is a violation."

"This coming from the ex of a toe sucker who likes to get pegged."

"Touché. But we're getting off topic. Who is this woman?"

"Carolyn—"

"Oh no. "

"Here me out."

Fitz spent the next ten minutes explaining how he met Olivia and everything that he knew about her. He told her about how he figured out that she was Carolyn and showed her a picture of her.

"Wow. She's gorgeous."

Fitz felt a sense of pride, like Olivia was already his.

"When do I get to meet her? Ooh we should have her on the show."

"No," Fitz shook his head.

"Why not? She calls in every weekend. You like her. It would make great show. Battle of the sexes with all that sexual tension."

"What happened to not bringing my personal life on air?"

"You never listen to me anyway. No need to start now."

"I don't think that she will be into that."

"You can be very persuasive when you want to be, Fitzgerald."

Fitz hoped so, not for the show but because he was trying to get Olivia for himself.

* * *

Olivia loved running. It was her second favorite form of exercise with swimming being her first. Olivia ran three to five miles a day, four times a week. Running helped to clear her mind. It was a test of what her body could endure. She loved testing the limits of her body in a heathy way and running let her do that.

Olivia was just at the two and a half mile mark when she looked back. Her running partner for the day was falling behind, and by falling behind, Olivia meant that Quinn had completely stopped running and was bent over. Olivia ran back over to Quinn.

"Are you okay?"

Quinn waved her hands but said nothing as she tried to catch her breath. After a minute, Quinn stood up.

"Why can't you exercise like a normal person?"

Olivia laughed.

"Running in the park is one of the easiest and cheapest ways to exercise."

"I can't do anymore."

"Okay."

"How many miles was that?"

"Two and a half."

"Holy crap. I'm freaking awesome."

"Yes you are."

Olivia and Quinn started walking back to the car.

"I think I'm having a midlife crisis," Quinn said a few minutes into their walk.

"You're not in the middle of your life."

"True. But I am in my thirties and I have nothing going for me."

Olivia looked at Quinn.

"I want to go back to work. But I don't know what I want to do. I feel like I'm not good at anything. I was a bartender and then I got pregnant and I've been on mommy duty ever since. I haven't worked in almost three years."

"What do you like to do?"

"I don't know. And that's what is killing me. I have fallen into the role of a stay at home mom for so long that I don't even know what I want to do or what I'm good at. I've lost myself."

Olivia couldn't relate. She wasn't a mom or a fiancée, she had no obligations and could live her life on her terms.

"Do you remember what you were interested in before becoming a bartender?"

"Nothing that I could make a career out of," Quinn sighed, "I wasn't thinking of a career back then. Now that I'm a mom, I just think differently. It's like one day I woke up jobless and realized that I'm probably going to be a disappointment to my daughter."

"That's dramatic."

"I'm just bored out of my mind and thinking how I won't have a career when Zoe is old enough to have career days at school. She is going to have a daddy who went to law school and does community outreach work and a mommy who does nothing."

"You have plenty of time to find something that you're interested in."

"How did you decide that you wanted to be a writer? That's not an easy career."

"I took what I liked to do and made it work for me. I read a lot when I was younger when I was in and out of the hospital. I didn't have any books when I went into foster care so I just started writing my own stories. I didn't even know I could be a writer until college. It all just worked itself out."

"I'm good with numbers, budgeting. I love tech stuff. I'm into scrapbooking," Quinn listed off a few things.

"That's a start. You should look into some places to volunteer until you figure out what you want to do."

"That's a good idea."

Quinn was silent for a minute or so before saying, "It's just hard to do anything with Zoe. On top of not knowing what I want to do, whatever I figure out I have to find a daycare for Zoe."

"You'll find something," Olivia said confidently, "And when you find out what you what to and I'll watch Zoe for a few hours a week while you do it."

Quinn looked at Olivia and smiled.

"Thanks, Liv."

* * *

"You look really pretty Olivia."

Olivia looked at her sister through the mirror with a smile, "Thank you."

Olivia was getting ready to attend the mayor's fundraiser. Harrison had given her a ticket because according to him, she didn't get out enough. Olivia wasn't one hundred percent sold on the idea of spending her night with local politicians and the rich folks of Burlington but she was going to support Harrison. This fundraiser was the first major project that he was a part of since he started his job at the mayor's office.

"Are you going on a date?" Isabelle asked.

"No. I'm going to fundraiser dinner."

"What's that?"

"Like a princess ball without the princesses. It's a dinner to raise money for school programs."

"Oh. Sounds boring."

"I'm sure it will be."

"Well, you look pretty anyway."

Olivia looked at herself in the mirror. She looked good. She never dressed up in gowns, rarely did she even wear skirts or dress so this was a welcomed change for her. Olivia liked it, she like it a lot.

"Olivia, your car is here," Maria said from the doorway. "Wow," Maria said as she looked at Olivia.

"Doesn't she look pretty mommy?"

"She looks amazing."

Olivia wore a white floor length dress with thin halter straps that fell at her sides, allowing the dress to be completely backless. Her makeup was minimal, just a nude lip and eyeliner. Her hair held loose curls. She looked effortlessly beautiful.

"Are you trying to find a husband tonight?"

"I am not. I don't dress up often but since I'm representing Harrison, I figured I would at least try."

Olivia grabbed her clutch off of her bed.

"Thank you for watching Zoe tonight."

"We love her. It's going to be fun having a girls night."

Olivia said her goodbyes and then headed out.

* * *

Olivia felt like Cinderella when she finally got to go to the ball. This was not her element at all but she was enjoying her night. Harrison had sent a car to pick her up and once there, she had been introduced to all the major players in Vermont politics. Her first impression of Mayor Samuel Caldwell was that he was a charmer that meant well. He seemed like a real deal politician. You could tell that he was a legacy politician who got into politics because it was in his bloodline but it really suited him well. He loved helping people and making a difference. Sam Caldwell was big on education and helping the children. Most of his programs since he had been in office had been geared around educating the youth. He started a program for robotics and coding and now he is working on getting practical skills classes that helped kids learn how to manage money and live in the real world. Olivia thought he had good stances. Who could argue against educating the youth?

After Harrison introduced her to the mayor and they talked briefly, she was then introduced to his father, Senator Henry Caldwell. The two talked quickly struck up conversation as he escorted her to their table.

Fitz was seated at the table to the right of the mayor's table surrounded by family; his parents Fitzgerald Thomas Grant II and Eleanor Grant, siblings Benjamin, Victoria, and Jason, and his sister-in-law Kara. His mother was telling a story about the last school board meeting. Fitz was listening intently, taking the occasional glance over the room. In one of his glances, he caught sight of her. Fitz had to do a double take to make sure he wasn't seeing things. As he stared at the woman talking to Henry Caldwell across the room, there was no doubt in his mind that it was Olivia Pope.

Fitz was immediately drawn to her. Once he knew it was her, he couldn't take his eyes off her as he watched their conversation from a distance. Fitz only looked away when he notice the pair making their way towards their table.

Olivia ended up at the mayor's table as Harrison's guest. She was seated with Sam Caldwell, his parents Henry and Claire Caldwell, his sister Jenna Caldwell, Harrison, Quinn, and another staffer named Tabitha Christie.

It was only when Olivia was brought to her table did she see him. At the table next to theirs was Fitz.

* * *

"Who is she?"

Fitz sighed at the sound of Mellie's voice. He stared at her blankly. She had a way of intruding in his life and it got under his skin.

"You've been staring at her all night. She's cute. Kind of young and not really your type but she's cute."

"Why are over here?"

"I can't have a conversation with my ex-husband?"

"What do you want?"

"Nothing. I saw you over here alone and I figured I would come and say hello."

"Hello. Goodbye."

"Don't be like that. It's a small town. We have the same friends, we are going to see each other."

"I don't have a problem with seeing you. I just don't want to do this."

"Do what?"

"Pretend like we're friends."

"Is she bothering you?"

Fitz heard his sister's voice before he saw her. She came up from behind Mellie and stepped in between them.

"I can have Sam throw her out. He would do that for me."

Fitz stood and pulled his sister in the opposite direction away from Mellie.

"Mom would literally die if you did that," he smiled at her.

Fitz loved how overprotected his sister got when it came to Mellie. Victoria never liked Mellie. She had told Fitz there was something evil about her even when she was a kid but Fitz married her anyway. Victoria's dislike and bad vibes turned to hate after the whole Karen thing. Now Victoria made it her business to make Mellie uncomfortable, especially if she felt like she was doing something to hurt Fitz.

"You know I don't like her."

"I know."

"What did she want?"

"Nothing. Just the usual. You know she loves to put on appearances."

"She's putting on a show for your friend."

"My friend?"

"The one who she just bumped into at the bar."

Victoria nodded in the direction of the bar and Fitz looked on just as Mellie extended her hand to Olivia.

"Oh God."

"I would go over there if I was you."

* * *

Olivia stood by the bar waiting to get some champagne. It was going to be her first drink of the night. She was allowing herself three. Olivia had been hesitant to come to a fundraiser because she had never been to something like this before. She didn't know what to expect but Olivia wasn't looking forward to spending the night with the leaders of the city. This whole thing seemed too fancy for her liking. She was a more behind the scenes type of person. This was all Harrison's area. He was always good with the upfront, in your face stuff she wasn't but she was genuinely having a good time. The mayor and his family were lovely people. The conversation followed well at the table and to her surprise, she fit right in.

Someone bumped into Olivia and quickly said, "I'm so sorry. Clumsy me."

Olivia looked at the woman who bumped into her.

"No biggie."

"I don't think we've had the pleasure to meet. I'm Mellie Grant," she extended her hand for Olivia to shake.

"Olivia Pope."

"Are you on the school board or one of its affiliates?"

"No," Olivia shook her head, "I'm just Joe Shmoe, citizen nobody."

"Oh, I don't believe that. This is a $2,500 per plate, $25,000 per table fundraiser. Joe Shmoe, citizen nobody is not in here."

Olivia stared at Mellie for a moment. She had met her first fundraiser snob. Olivia knew from Mellie's need to rattle off the prices per plate and table that she was probably wondering how Olivia was able to afford it.

"Would you believe that the Make-A-Wish foundation granted my wish and now I'm here?"

Mellie smiled and Olivia could tell it was a fake one. Olivia wasn't a stupid, she could tell that this woman was fishing for answers. Only question Olivia had was, why? Then a lightbulb clicked, she introduced herself as Mellie Grant, that couldn't be a coincidence.

As if he heard her thoughts, Fitz appeared out of nowhere.

"Hello ladies."

Was Mellie his wife? Sister? Cousin?

"Hey Fitz," Mellie put her hand on his shoulder.

The gesture wasn't overly intimate but it ruled her out from being his sister or cousin.

"Have you met Olivia Pope?" Mellie asked.

"We have. Multiple times," Olivia said.

Olivia doesn't know where that came from. If this woman was his wife, she just made it seem like they had something going on. Olivia found herself glancing down at their hands, neither wore a ring. Close cousins maybe? Olivia was confused as to their connection.

"We keep running into each other," Fitz let his eyes travel Olivia's body.

The gaze was not lost on both Olivia and Mellie.

' _They are definitely not married. Maybe they're_ _swingers_ ,' Olivia thought.

"Should I give you two a moment?" Mellie asked as Fitz eyes made contact with Olivia's.

"That would be nice," Fitz said.

"Olivia, watch out for this one," Mellie said before walking away.

With Mellie gone, it was as if the air left the room. Olivia turned her attention back to the bar, fully aware of the blue eyes focus on her. She orders a champagne and waits for it to be handed to her. It was only a matter of seconds but it feels like forever before she turns back to face Fitz.

"Fancy meeting you here," he smiled down at her and for the first time Olivia realizes how close he is standing to her.

"I would say that I'm surprised to see you here but it seems like it is a strange occurrence if I don't run into you somewhere."

"So you look forward to seeing me?"

"I wouldn't say all that," Olivia took a sip of her champagne, "Your wife seems a little snobby."

"Ex-wife," Fitz corrected with a smile, "I'm single and waiting on you."

"I'm more than you can handle."

Olivia didn't know what had gotten into her but tonight she was up for playing whatever game Fitz wanted to play.

"I doubt that but I'm up for the challenge that you think you are."

"Are you?" Olivia moved so close to him that their bodies were touching, "How exactly would you handle me, Fitz?"

Fitz momentarily got lost in her brown eyes as she looked up at him seductively. Fitz imagined all the ways he would like to handle her; with his head between her thighs, with her looking him directly in the eyes as he made love to her slow or fucked her hard against the wall, taking her from behind, there were so many ways he wanted to handle her.

"Who is this angel that has descended from heaven?"

Olivia took a step back, separating their bodies and Fitz missed the contact immediately. She looked at the man that came up behind Fitz.

"No one that you need to know," Fitz eyed his baby brother.

"Oh don't be like that, Fitz," he turned to Olivia, "Jason Grant."

"Olivia Pope," she extended her hand and instead of shaking it, Jason kissed it.

"The pleasure is all mine."

"Did you need something?" Fitz asked.

"I saw this beauty standing here and I had to come over and introduce myself."

"Okay. You've introduced yourself. Now you can leave."

"I have never seen you around," Jason said completely ignoring Fitz.

"Do you know everyone in town?"

"It's a small town," Jason said with a smile.

Olivia could see the charm that must have been a Grant thing.

"I just moved here three months ago."

"And yet the universe is just now bringing us together."

"Goodbye Jason," Fitz said sternly.

Olivia took a sip of her champagne to hide her smile. She found this whole exchange funny.

"I'm just kidding around bro. Chillax," Jason slapped Fitz across the back and spoke to Olivia, "I hate these events. It's so political and snobby. Everyone normally has an agenda and it is not to have fun. So I have to find fun the best way I can and busting my brother's balls here is the easiest way to do that."

"I can see that."

"You do look mighty fine in that dress though."

"Thank you."

"I'm mean I've been in a few circles. That dress is definitely a crowd pleaser," Jason gave her the once over.

"Go somewhere else, Jay," Fitz shoved his brother out of the way.

"I'm going. I'm going. No need to get pushy. Truly, it was nice meeting you, Olivia."

"Likewise."

And with Jason was off into the crowd.

"Your brother is something."

"I'm sorry about that."

"No, it's fine. He's funny. Is it just you two?"

The sexual tension that was building just minutes ago was now gone but they fell into a comfortable conversation.

"No. It's four of us. I'm the oldest, he's the baby, and there is a brother and sister in between us."

"Do you all still live in the area?"

"Yeah. They're all here actually."

"So are you guys like Burlington royalty or something?"

"Far from it. This is actually a work event."

"For your radio show?"

"No, my day job. I run an advertising company with my brother. It's a family a business. We did all the ads and videos you see."

"So an ad guy by day, radio host by night. Is this one of those creepy small towns you see in movies where every person has three jobs and keeps terrible town secrets?"

Fitz laughed.

"I would call you a writer with a very active imagination but you are correct. My mother makes jam and teaches the schoolhouse children and my dad is a veterinarian who runs the town morgue."

"I can totally see you being the son of a jam maker and a mortician. It suits you well, Fitz."

"You're pretty connected yourself for someone new in town, sitting at the mayor's table and all. What brings you to the fundraiser?"

"Work event. My brother works for the mayor and I landed a pity ticket because he thinks I should get out more."

"Well we're going to have to change that."

"Are you trying to ask me out, Fitz?"

"Are you trying to go out?"

"Ask me correctly and we'll see."

"Will you let me take you out? I can show you around town and–"

"Just a question, Fitz. No need for the pitch."

Fitz smiled at her, a nervous reaction. He was unsure if she would say yes to their date.

"Will you go out with me, Liv?"

"Sure. I'll go out with you."

"Really?"

Olivia nodded.

"You're surprised that I said yes."

"A little. I thought I was going to work a lot harder than that."

"Are you calling me easy?"

"No, I just thought that Ms. More Than You Can Handle, would have been more of a challenge."

"I have seen you four times in the last month so unless you're stalking me, someone out there wants us in the same space so I'm just giving you a chance."

Olivia finished off the rest of her champagne.

"What do you think about my dress, Fitz?" Olivia did a full turn around, giving Fitz a view of her bare back. "This is my first time at an event like this and your brother said people were talking."

There was an innocence to her question and her face matched it as if she didn't know what she did. They both knew better.

"It's perfect, like you."

"That was very corny, sweet but corny."

"It worked though."

"Did it?"

"You're smiling so it worked."

Olivia couldn't hide the smile on her face if her life depended on it. She didn't know how he was able to tear down her poker face but she liked it.

"Dance with me, Olivia."

The idea of dancing with Fitz in same room with his family and his ex-wife and Quinn and Harrison, made Olivia nervous. But even she couldn't fight whatever this was between them.

Olivia threw all caution to the wind and said, "Lead the way, Fitzgerald."


	5. Feathers & Wax

**Feathers & Wax**

" _Hey, girl, do you feel like you just ain't worth saving? More times than you know I feel the same thing. You think this is too much to believe in. If you're scared, look below, I'll be right there. I'll help you grow. We rise on feathers and wax, child. Don't stray too far. We rise on feathers and wax, child. I'll help you grow wings that won't burn in the hot sun. Can't watch you go. We rise in feathers and wax, child. We rise in feathers and wax, child. We rise in feathers and wax, child. Hey girl, no I bet, you didn't know that you could save me too. Was it you that said the world could drown us quickly. Well you're braver than you think, you got me up here too._ "—Vicktor Taiwo

* * *

Olivia felt the eyes on her and Fitz as they danced. She was aware of Harrison's watchful eye and the eyes of his siblings. Olivia felt uncomfortable under the stares but at the same time, she felt like she belonged in Fitz's arms. Olivia looked around took in her surroundings as Fitz swayed her around to the music being played by the live band. She saw Quinn talking to Harrison. Based off of their expressions, Olivia knew that Quinn was in the middle of calming Harrison down. Not that Harrison would ever behave erratically at a business event but Olivia had a way of picking men who represented a way of inflicting pain on herself. For that reason, Harrison was always going into protective big brother mode.

Olivia noticed Mellie staring from across the dance floor. She wasn't even paying attention to her dancing partner. Whoever the guy was didn't look to bothered by her obvious neck turns and maneuvers to watch Fitz and Olivia so closely.

"People are staring."

"Let them," Fitz fingers feathered down her back, sending a quiver down Olivia's spine.

Fitz didn't seem bothered by the people watching them, so Olivia decided she wouldn't be either.

They danced for three songs before Fitz was called away to take some photos with the mayor. He reluctantly let her go, promising to find her when he was finish. Olivia head back to her table, where only Quinn was sitting at.

"He's cute," Quinn said when it was clear that Olivia wasn't going to say anything.

"That's Fitz."

"Your guy?"

"He's not my guy."

"You didn't see the way he was looking at you. He is definitely your guy."

"His whole family is here. I met one of his brothers and his ex-wife."

Quinn didn't say anything.

Olivia looked over at her, "And I agreed to go out on a date with him."

"How long has he been divorced?"

Olivia shrugged, "I didn't ask for his whole life history at the bar. But I did flirt, a lot." Olivia buried her face in her hands, "I don't know what got into him. I was very forward."

"He has gotten into you. You guys were mighty close."

"Did I look bad?"

"No," Quinn waved her off, "But I felt the sexual tension from across the room."

"There was no sexual tension," Olivia lied.

"I beg to differ."

"What did Harrison say?"

"He just wondered how you knew him."

"And?"

"And what the hell you thought you were doing?"

"That sounds more like Harrison."

"Can you blame him?" Quinn said. There was no condescension in her voice, just the rational, neutral thoughts of someone who had known her for many years.

Olivia had only had one serious relationship in her life but she spent most of her adult years, single and self-medicating with sex. She had a few one night stands and a few casual hookup buddies.

Harrison hated most of the men that she let into her bed but it was easier to have casual sex than to deal with trying to get into a relationship and concealing her sickle cell. Harrison thought that she should just be honest with the guy who she was serious about but no one wanted a sick girl. No one wanted to be burdened with the girl who spent weeks, sometimes months at a time in the hospital.

Olivia understood where Harrison was coming from. Her behavior in the past was not always the best for her. There have been times when she ended up in the hospital, in a pain crisis after trying to play Olympian in the bedroom. She knew her limits but simply didn't care in the past. There had been times that she was depressed and lonely, and in those times, she reached out to casual sex partners or relied on one night stands for a temporary fix. It gave her comfort in the moment, even though she often times paid for it afterwards.

Olivia hadn't had any hookups in the last two years. It was something about turning 30 that made her decide to make a change in her life. She brought her first sex toy and let go of the few man that had a revolving door into her bedroom. Harrison still didn't trust her judgment when it came to men.

"I need to talk to you," Harrison motioned for Olivia to follow him.

Olivia stood up and followed him. He lead her out of the ball room and then down corridor, pulling her into the first door that he saw, which happened to be a single stall bathroom.

"How do you know Fitzgerald Grant?"

"I met him in my dad's shop."

"You two seem pretty close."

"Was there a question hidden in your statement?"

"What are you doing?"

"I was dancing."

"I work with him. His family business does work for the mayor's office."

"I know."

"Then you know that this is off limits."

"Harrison. You are not the boss of me."

"Olivia don't be childish. You know your track record."

"I danced with the guy."

"Marcus-"

"Oh God. Don't start with Marcus. That happened a million years ago under the influence of things, might I add."

"Kenny," Harrison started.

"Okay," Olivia cut him off before he could go into his speech about Kenny.

Kenneth Evans was a guy who Harrison worked with, that Olivia had started having a sexual relationship with. It only last a year. Harrison told her not to do it because it was someone who he worked with. Olivia went behind his back and slept with him anyway. Olivia and Kenny fooled around for a year and somehow a big blow up at work resulted in Kenny saying something explicit about Olivia. Harrison didn't take to kindly to it and they came to blows. Harrison beat Kenny badly and was arrested. He spent a weekend in hold up but no charges were filed. After Kenny, they made a strict rule that friends and anyone who the other worked with or around were off limits.

"You do realize that I was twenty four when Kenny happened. You can't keep holding that against me."

"I'm not holding it against you. I'm just reminding you of what we agreed on."

"You don't even work with Fitz."

"Fitz? You're on a first name basis with him now?"

"I know him," she said simply.

"What does that mean? Have you slept with him?"

"You are out of line, Harrison!"

Seeing Olivia clearly upset by his question, Harrison said, "I'm sorry. I'm not trying to upset you. I just...I just want you safe. I know how you get when you're unsure or you get into one of your moods, you shut people out and you act out in an unhealthy way. I don't want that to be what is going on here. You've been having second thoughts about moving here and reconnecting with your dad. I just to make sure you are being your best self and not in the beginning phase of a lashing out episode."

"You have so little faith in me. That's why I never tell you anything because you always thinking the worst of me."

"I don't. I just know that you lash out in unhealthy ways sometimes. You don't think about the people who love you when you are doing things that can potentially hurt you."

Olivia was silent. Harrison knew her so well that it was annoying. In the past, Olivia thought about dying a lot and she acted as if she was on a mission to end her life. Her behavior had been reckless and irrational at times but she was trying to be better. She was trying to live a full life, free of suicidal thoughts and the reckless behavior of her youth but it was hard when Harrison kept reminding her of her past behavior.

Olivia was just trying find herself some happy. She wanted to feel normal, to be desired. She wanted someone to love her. She wanted to not be lonely so she was taking a chance on Fitz. Olivia was not going to let Harrison ruin this for her.

"It's different with Fitz," Olivia stated simply but with enough conviction that left no room for questions. "I know that I haven't always made the best choices in my past but you have to trust me on this."

After a long pause, Harrison finally said, "Okay."

"Okay?" Olivia was shocked that he was agreeing so easily anyway.

"Okay," Harrison repeated. He didn't want Olivia to think that he thought the worst of her so if she needed him to just trust her, he was going to do that.

"Thank you."

Harrison nodded. He opened the door allowing Olivia to walk out before him. As Olivia was leaving she bumped into Mellie.

"Sorry," Olivia quickly said.

"No, I'm sorry."

Mellie looked from Olivia to Harrison suspiciously before plastering on a fake smile and turning in the other direction.

"What was that about?" Harrison asked when Mellie was out of earshot.

"That's Fitz's ex-wife."

"Oh, so she is your first enemy in town."

"Looks that way."

* * *

 **Fitz:** _What are you wearing?_

Olivia smiled as she looked down at her phone. The pair had been texting each other throughout the day and talking on the phone at night for the few days. Their banter was always flirtatious, borderline sexual without overdoing it. In just a few short days, Olivia felt so open with Fitz, so much so that she surprised herself with the things that she said to him.

 **Olivia:** _An oversized t-shirt…_

 **Fitz:** _…And?_

 **Olivia:** _And a smile._

Olivia didn't know what came over her but before she could think better of it, she opened of the camera on her phone and took a picture of her legs. She sent the picture with the caption, " _Do you like my nail polish?_ "

Olivia waited for him to respond but instead of a text, her phone alerted her to an incoming facetime call from Fitz. Olivia chuckled to herself before tapping her screen and waiting for his face to appear.

"Hello Mister."

"You're trying to kill me."

"Am I?" She played coy.

"You have very lovely nail polish….and amazing thighs," Fitz bit his bottom lip.

"Thank you," Olivia turned the camera giving him another look at her thighs, "I like my nail polish too. It's Big Apple Red."

Olivia flipped the camera again so that her face was showing.

Fitz sat back in his chair, taking a quick glance down at his lap. It didn't go unnoticed by Olivia.

"Why are you laying around half naked in the middle of the day?"

"Perks of working from home."

"What are you working on?"

"I'm actually editing someone else's work."

"Sounds interesting"

"It is. It is great and pressure free. I get to watch the process from story idea to book and have input without pouring my soul out of the page."

Fitz smiled at her. It only happened of few times but Fitz loved whenever Olivia talked about writing or books. There was always this light in her eyes. He saw the passion and the love for what she did.

Fitz's office door opened and the smile quickly faded from his face.

"Is everything okay?" Olivia asked when she saw his face change.

"I have to call you back. Someone just walked in."

"Okay. Bye."

The smile that she gave him warmed his heart. He had no choice but to smile back as he ended his facetime call.

"You are so pathetic."

"What do you want?"

Before Mellie had a chance to respond, Fitz's phone beeped indicating that he had a text message.

Fitz looked down at his phone as another text came in from Olivia. It was a picture of her thighs and the bottom of her t-shirt, which Fitz was sure that if it moved up just a half an inch would expose her sex. He read over the text: " _I hope I didn't get you in trouble. Stay focused on work, Mister. Have a great rest of the day._ "

He smiled as he read over the message and quickly started to type of reply.

"That's very rude, Fitz."

Fitz looked up from his phone upon hearing Mellie's voice. He had forgotten that quickly that she was seated across from him.

"It's rude of you to just pop up at my job without calling first," he countered.

Fitz attention went back to his phone as he finished typing out his response to Olivia: " _You make it really HARD to focus but for you, I will do my best. Talk to you tonight._ "

After hitting the send button, Fitz looked up at Mellie who was staring at him.

"I take it you were texting her."

Fitz didn't respond and Mellie continued.

"That's what I wanted to talk you about. What do you know about this girl?"

"We're not doing this."

"I'm not trying to fight with you."

"We're not fighting because we are not doing this. You are not about to come to my job and question me about any part of my life. If it is not about Teddy, then we don't have anything to discuss."

"I don't want you bringing your whores around my son."

"Wow. Says the woman who lied and cheated and is currently living with the man you broke up your family for."

"You left me."

"You had an affair and lied about the paternity of our daughter for years."

"Does that make you feel better to keep beating me up about that?"

Fitz had to be in the twilight zone. Never once did they have a discussion about her lies and what led to the demise of their marriage. Never was he giving the time to grieve, cry, or scream for the years wasted. She had never said sorry for lying to him, for cheating on him, for snatching their whole world apart. Fitz was just supposed to be okay. Supposed to go on with life as if nothing happened.

"I have never beaten you up about it because we have never talked about it," Fitz stated calmly.

He could feel himself losing it and was trying to control the anger that he felt building inside him. If not for them being at his job and him not wanting to cause a scene, Fitz knew if he let his true feelings out. If he let out everything that he had been holding in for the last four, going on five years, the blow up would be catastrophic.

Fitz knew that it was wrong but after all of the pain that Mellie had caused him, he wanted her to feel pain. He hated her. He wanted her to suffer, and if he was being honest with himself, had it not been for his son, Fitz probably would have killed her when he found out that Karen wasn't his biological daughter. Nothing that has ever happened in his life hurt him the way that did. Nothing angered him more either.

Fitz silently counted, an attempt to bring his anger down. It wasn't working but he counted in his head anything.

"I made a mistake, Fitzgerald. A stupid mistake when I was a child. You shouldn't continue to punish me for it."

Fitz was up to the number 87 in his counting. If nothing else, his counting didn't allow him to speak the harsh words that were on the tip of his tongue.

"I know you may not see it this way but we are family, Fitz. Despite everything that happened, we shared a life together. We have a son and I want the best for you because what's best for you is what's best for Teddy."

132, 133, 134...Fitz counted, slowly feeling his anger leave him.

"I wanted to warn you. I don't know if you are serious about this girl but I caught her coming out of the bathroom with one of the mayor's staff members."

"Okay," Fitz said simply.

"Okay?"

"You've warned me. I've heard you but as I said, we're not doing this."

"I just don't want to see you hurt, Fitz."

"If you are done, I would like for you to leave. I have work to do."

Mellie stood.

"I meant what I said about you not bringing whores around my son. Don't look at me like that. You know how wild you have been since our divorce. I just don't want Teddy exposed to any of it."

"Don't come in here trying to lecture me as if you know what is going on in my life. Teddy is fine. Always have been. Always will be."

* * *

Olivia attempted to move her feet but they felt like dead weights. A pain shot up from her knees to her lower back. She bit down on her lip to keep from screaming out. She felt her muscles tightening up and knew that this crisis was not going to be able to fixed at home. She had avoided the doctors for the last few days because despite being in pain, it wasn't too unbearable. The pain would come and go and had varying forms of intensity. But when she woke up from her nap unable to move because of the pains in her legs that shot up to her back, Olivia knew that she had to go to the hospital.

Olivia reached for her phone, just as another pain hit her. She let out a scream and grabbed her phone. Olivia quickly dialed Harrison's number and waited.

"Hello," came Harrison's groggy voice.

Olivia felt bad immediately for disturbing him but she needed him and knew that he would be pissed at her if she didn't call him.

"Harrison," he voice was low and measured as she exhaled, hoping to ease the tension she felt in her legs and back.

"Olivia, what's wrong?" Harrison was instantly alerted.

"I think I need to go to the hospital," Olivia spoke calmly. She was in pain but she didn't want to alarm him.

"I'm on my way."

* * *

Olivia had done this to herself. She had danced too much, flirted too much, had too much fun, was too happy. She had too much hope. To think that she could move to a new town, meet a nice guy, and have herself a normal life. She was paying for allowing herself to believe that she was entitled to something good could in life.

It had taken just five days after the fundraising dinner for Olivia's pain to be strong enough to for her to be admitted into the hospital. The pain in her legs started the day after the fundraiser. It was a slight pain that she had thought was a result of spending the night in heels. As the days went on and the pain shifted from her legs to her back, she knew that it was most likely a pain crisis rearing it's ugly head. After days of self-medicating with home remedies, the pain came back fully and Olivia had no choice but to go to the hospital.

"You're awfully quiet."

Olivia looked away from Harrison.

"Look at me, Liv."

Olivia shook her head with her eyes closed. Harrison stood up and walked over to her.

"What's wrong, Liv?"

"Nothing," she lied.

"You wouldn't be crying if it was nothing."

"God hates me."

"No, he doesn't?"

"He does. Why else would this be happening to me?"

Harrison was silent. There was nothing that he could say in this moment to make her feel better. She was in the hospital and would be here for a while.

"I did this to myself."

"Stop it."

"I did. I was drank too much. I danced in a crowded room full of people without a care in the world. I was too happy and God hates me."

"Stop saying that. God does not hate you. If he hated you, your life would be a lot worse than what it is now."

"How can you look at me right now and say that with a straight face?"

"You're alive. You are able to live life. You know for a fact that there are people who have crisis more than you do. You are one of the lucky ones. One of the healthy ones."

Olivia couldn't listen to him. Not as she laid in a hospital bed in pain.

"I want to die."

"Don't say that."

"I want to go home," Olivia began pull the IV from her arms.

"Olivia stop," Harrison grabbed her to stop her from hurting herself.

"I'm not staying here," Olivia tried to pull away from him.

"If you don't stop I am going to have to call the nurse in here."

"Fuck you and the nurse," Olivia spat.

Harrison didn't take her words to heart because he knew that this was just a reaction to her pain. He only wished that he could take her pain away.

Harrison managed to press the nurses button while carefully hold Olivia from pulling at her machines.

* * *

Fitz had full house. He was on babysitting duties for his brother and sister-in-law because they went away for the week to celebrate their eighth wedding anniversary. He loved having his niece and nephew stay with him for the week. The house seemed livelier with the more people in it. Spending the last three days caring for the two additional Grant children made Fitz realized that he would love to have more kids. He didn't know if it was in the cards for him since he was a single, middle aged man but it was nice to dream.

Fitz was about to get started on dinner but before he made his rounds to check on all the little ones in the house. He found Teddy and Jamie were watching television in the living room.

"Where's Emily?"

"In your office looking for more supplies," Jamison, Emily's little brother said.

"Supplies for what?"

They shrugged and Fitz left the living room and headed for his home office. Emily was on the floor surrounded by cut up pieces of paper and crayons.

"Are you finished your homework?" Fitz asked as he entered the room.

"Almost," Emily smiled at him innocently.

"Em, you know you are supposed to finish your homework before you start coloring and playing around."

"I'm not playing around. I'm making a card for Olivia."

It had been a week since Fitz had last spoken to Olivia. He had called her that night like what was becoming their routine but he got no answer. He thought nothing of it but when she hadn't called or texted him back, he thought it was weird. He had texted and called her a few times in the last week but all he received was silence.

Fitz didn't want to jump to conclusions but her not responding to him made Fitz feel like maybe she wasn't interested in him. Maybe God was giving him a sign that this wasn't going to work. He didn't have time for someone flaky in his life. But hearing Emily mention Olivia's name piqued Fitz curiosity.

"Why are making her a card?"

"She's sick."

Fitz hoped the concern he felt didn't register on his face.

"What's wrong with her?"

"I don't know but she's been in the hospital for a week."

Fitz bit the inside of his mouth to keep from questioning her further. He knelt down besides her looking at her card.

"Do you think that Olivia will like the card? I'm not the best artist."

"She will love it because it came from the heart."

"Do you want to sign it when I'm done?"

"Sure."

Suddenly Fitz was on autopilot with all of his focus being on Olivia.

* * *

Olivia fiddled with her hands as she held the phone between her ear and her shoulder. Harrison had been concerned for her and called Stephen. She was talking to him to in hopes of reassuring him that everything was fine. Everything wasn't fine though. Days after her outburst, Olivia still wanted to die. She tried to tell herself that this is what came with the pain because it did but every hospital stay, every time a crisis would hit, Olivia would have thoughts of dying. Death was surely better than a lifetime of pain. It had to be better than the guilt that she felt every time she did something fun or that made her happy and then within days she would be in the hospital. Every hospital visit she wished she wouldn't go home. Being sick was tiring. It was painful. Living with this was worse than dying. It was a prolonged suffering that she didn't feel like she deserved.

"Are you still there, Olivia?"

"I'm here," Olivia sighed, "I'm not going to kill myself."

"I didn't think that you were."

"That's what this call was about, right? Harrison called you because I said I wanted to die."

"He is concerned about you."

"He is always concerned about me."

"Are you still feeling like you want to die."

"I feel like that every hospital visit. Every time I somehow overwork myself. Sometimes I can't do simple things. Do you know that my last pain crisis before this had to me when I was washing my clothes? I went to the laundromat and was washing close. I was out maybe and hour and a half before I felt this tightness in my chest. I couldn't breath and had to rush home and drop my close off before being rushed to the hospital. I was washing clothes," Olivia emphasized, "Washing clothes landed me in the hospital for thirty-seven days. You would want to die too if your body kept failing you."

Olivia closed her eyes to keep her tears from falling. She was feeling sorry for herself. She hated when she did that because it never helped anything.

"I have to go. My nurse just walked in," Olivia lied but quickly added, "I can call you tomorrow if you would like to finish this session."

"This wasn't a session."

"It was. What time is good for you tomorrow."

Stephen looked down at his desktop calendar.

"Four o'clock."

"I'll talk to you then."

Olivia quickly ended the call. She used the breathing techniques that she had learned in yoga class to try to calm herself. Her tears fell anyway. With her eyes tightly shut, hands wringing, Olivia willed herself to stop crying, to stop feeling sorry for herself. She tried to focus on all the positive things in her life.

Olivia was so focused on trying to calm herself down that she didn't hear the knock on the door. She didn't hear her name being called. It was only when she felt someone squeeze her foot did her eyes open.

When her brown eyes met the set of blue ones staring back at her, Olivia tensed up.

"Hi."

"What are you doing here?"

"I came to see you."

"Get out."

"Liv," Fitz eyed her.

"My name is Olivia," she snapped.

Fitz didn't understand her anger.

"I don't know how you found out that I was here but I don't want you here. Please get out."

"Did I do something?"

"You showed up at the hospital of a complete stranger. This is creepy and you are making me uncomfortable."

Fitz stepped back from the bed.

"I didn't mean to—"

"But you're still here."

Fitz sat the bag down that was in his hand on the bottom of her bed and left.

* * *

Two days after Olivia kicked him out of her hospital room, Fitz still couldn't get her off of his brain. He didn't expect her to blow up on him like she did when he showed up. He still didn't fully understand where her anger had come from but for whatever reason, Fitz could not get her off of his brain. Any other guy would have ran in the other direction, hell with any other girl he would have but there was something about Olivia that he was drawn to. He wanted to be there for her, save her, love her. He knew it was crazy to even think of loving her without even going on a first date yet but he couldn't himself. That's the reason why he had reached out to her foster brother Harrison Wright to at least inquire about how Olivia was doing.

"I have fifteen minutes. I don't want to waste my whole lunch break on this. What is it?"

Fitz was taken aback by the directness, and the attitude that he was picking up from Harrison but he chose to ignore it and get to what he asked to see him about.

"Olivia and I had been bumped into each other a few times in the city. We exchanged numbers and were talking daily and then that just stopped. I wasn't able to reach her and I found out that it was because she is in the hospital. I stopped by to see her and that upset her and kicked me out. It confused me but maybe she didn't want me to see her like that. I don't know. I just wanted to know how is she?"

Harrison eyed Fitz for a long seconds.

"What's your deal? What do you want with my sister? Are you seriously pursuing her or is she just something for you to do?"

Fitz first thought was that he wouldn't be going through all of this if she was just something to do. There were plenty of less challenging and moody women out there. But being an older brother, Fitz understood Harrison's need to protect Olivia from the unknown. Fitz didn't take Harrison's attitude as a personal attack. It was more of a defense tactic.

Fitz thought about Harrison's questions

"I'm seriously pursuing her. I feel this connection with Olivia that goes pass just physical attraction. She keeps popping up in my life and it feels like we are supposed to be together in some capacity. Whether that is friendship or more, I can't say but we were moving towards something before she ended up in the hospital. She's pushing me away now and I just want to know how she is doing."

Harrison didn't respond immediately. He took in Fitz words, felt the sincerity and saw the concern on his face.

"She didn't tell you what was wrong with her?"

Fitz shook his head.

"She's sick, really sick but she's doing better. It's not my place to tell you what's wrong with her. She has to do that."

Fitz nodded.

"But I will say this, if you're serious about pursuing her, don't let her push you away. She will try. She has had a hard life and is always ready to take on the world alone. She pushes people away even though she needs support because she is used to being alone."

Fitz couldn't imagine being alone or even feeling that way. Before he had a wife and kids, Fitz always had an awesome family life filled with support and love. He instantly felt that Olivia deserved that as well. He wanted to give her that, the sense of support and love.

* * *

Olivia woke up gasping for air. Her chest burned and her eyes watered as she tried to breathe properly. It was as if she had taken a swim and swallowed too much water. She felt like she was drowning right there in her hospital bed.

In a panic, Olivia felt paralyzed and she couldn't grab her oxygen mask or the remote to page the nurse.

' _This is it_ ,' she thought, ' _I'm going to die._ '

Before Olivia knew what was happening, she saw a hand coming towards her mouth.

' _Was someone trying to kill her?_ '

Within seconds she felt air filling up her lungs. The hand placed the oxygen mask over her mouth. A doctor? A nurse maybe? Someone had saved her.

Olivia reached for the oxygen mask to hold it for herself. Following the fingertips of the person who helped her breathe again, Olivia's eyes met a pair of blue ones.

Fitz smiled at her and she squinted her eyes at him.

"Before you get yourself all worked up," Fitz started, "I'm here and I'm not going anywhere. I will be here every day until you are discharged because that's what you do when someone you care about is in the hospital."


	6. Unsteady

**Unsteady**

" _But if you love me, don't let go. Whoa, if you love me, don't let go. Hold, hold on, hold onto me cause I'm a little unsteady. A little unsteady. Hold, hold on, hold onto me cause I'm a little unsteady. A little unsteady._ "—X Ambassadors

* * *

Olivia was stubborn. But what she didn't know was that Fitz could be stubborn too. When he made up his mind that he wanted something, he was going to do anything in his power to get it. Fitz wanted Olivia and he had refused to let her run him away.

True to his word, Fitz was at the hospital every day. He would sometimes bring her lunch during his lunch break and sometimes he would visit her in the evening for an hour or two.

It was hard for Olivia to be comfortable allowing anyone to see her this vulnerable but something with Fitz was different. She could push him away, hell she had tried but Olivia didn't really mean it. He had worn her down. It had taken just a few days of visits before Olivia finally talked to him.

Fitz had a very warm presence, even when they ran out of things to talk about and he would just sit with her, his presence made her feel better.

"What did you bring this time?"

"Crab cakes and caprese salad."

Olivia watched Fitz as he took the food containers out of the bag and sat them in front of her.

"Oh dear God, thank you! Hospital food sucks ass."

Fitz smiled at her as he switched out food from the two containers. After he separated out their food, he took a seat. The two made small talk about his day and she told him about the part of her book that she worked on that day. Watching her talk about her book and the faces she made when she was trying to explain something that was in her head to him was the cutest thing. The passion she had mixed with the little nervousness of sharing something so personal with someone.

"That was delicious."

"I told you those were the best crab cakes in the state."

"Thank you so much."

"Don't mention it," he waved her off as he began to clean up trash left from their dinner.

"No, I'm serious. You've been really nice to me. Too nice even."

"You do know that people are supposed to be nice to you, right?" He asked lightheartedly.

"I was really rude to you when you first came to visit me."

"I should have called first."

Olivia chuckled.

"I don't deserve all of this but I really appreciate it."

"You deserve the world."

"That's nice of you to say but—"

"No buts," he cut her off,

"I don't know what would makes you think that you don't but you do deserve the world. You're a good person."

"You don't know me."

"You say that but we have known each other for a few months now," Fitz walked over to her, "Contrary to what you may think, I see you, Olivia."

Olivia looked into his eyes. He had an intense stare, it made her nervous but at the same time she couldn't look away.

"I think you're supposed to be reading me some pages from your book," Fitz said.

"Why do you do that?" Olivia asked when she was finally able to pull her eyes away from his.

"Do what?" He licked his bottom lip.

"You have a very intense stare."

"It gets you out of your head, so it works."

Fitz got her iPad out of the drawer on her bedside table and handed it to her. He took his seat and waited patiently for Olivia to start reading.

* * *

Fitz walked into his brother's house a little after seven in the evening. He had lost track of time and stayed a little longer than usual visiting Olivia. After dinner Olivia had read some parts of the book she was working on to him.

"What happened to you stopping by earlier?" Ben asked.

"I was supposed to stop by earlier?"

Fitz tried to recall why he was supposed to stop by besides picking up his son.

"We were supposed to go over the finances today."

Fitz sighed.

"It totally slipped my mind. I'm sorry."

"What's going on with you?"

"What do you mean?"

"You seem distracted. We get together every month to go over the finances and now you somehow forgot. What's going on with you? Is there something on your mind you want to talk about?"

"No."

Fitz was trying to avoid talking about Olivia with anyone in his family, especially Benjamin. Fitz loved his brother. They had an amazing relationship but Benjamin was judgmental. Not in a snobby way but Ben was very straight forward. To Ben the world was black and white, right and wrong. There was always a way to do things.

Despite being four years younger than Fitz, Ben acted more like an older brother. He always wanted to take the lead and be in control. Fitz was a calmer, more go with the flow type of guy and sometimes that caused a clash between the two.

"You're gone a lot. I'm just wondering what's going on with you."

"My friend is in the hospital," Fitz said simply.

"Oh. I'm sorry to hear that. Do I know this friend?"

"No."

"Are you going to tell me who this person is?"

"Nope."

"Why so secretive?"

"I'm not being secretive. I just have had a really long day."

Fitz walked over to the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water.

"But it wasn't too long for you to not visit your friend tonight."

Fitz ignored him.

"We can still go over work stuff if you're up to it."

"No. I want to talk about your friend. Who is she?"

"Why do you assume my friend is a woman?"

"Because I know how you get with woman."

Fitz didn't know how he was supposed to take that statement and rather than beat around the bush, Fitz decided to address whatever the issue was.

"Say what's on your mind, Benjamin."

"Whoever this friend is, I think you should give it a rest because she is taking up too much of your time. You're always gone. You take late lunches and you're hard to reach. You're not even making time to pick Teddy up from school anymore."

"Seriously?"

"We don't mind helping you out but I don't want you to lose sight of what is important because you are chasing a skirt."

"Are you seriously upset because Kara picked up Teddy? She always picks him up when I am not able to. Did she say something to you?"

Fitz knew that she didn't but he figured he would ask anyway.

"I'm saying something to you. I don't want you using my wife to pick up your slack because you're chasing after some woman."

"I just kept your kids for a week while you went on vacation for your anniversary with no complaints because one, I love my niece and nephew and two, we're family and that's what family does. We help each other out. I'm sorry that Kara picking up Teddy, like she has always done now suddenly bothers you. Now that I know, you don't have to ever worry about Kara having to do anything for Teddy."

"Don't be overdramatic. All I am asking is for you to be a little bit more accessible and considered of other people's time. We're supposed to be running a business here."

Fitz stared at his brother. The smug, judgmental look on his face angered Fitz. Fitz hated how Ben always thought he knew everything. Contrary to what Ben wanted to believe, he wasn't the only smart person in the Grant family. Just because he had a degree in business didn't mean that he was the only person who knew how to run one.

"We're up twenty seven percent from last month. The mayor's fundraiser campaign was a success and helped us to bring in two major clients. One of which came from New York. The client that you didn't think we could pull, we did because our sister is bad ass and good at negotiating. Jason is close to closing the deal with new beer company that just moved to town. Business is doing just fine," Fitz paused to study his brother for a second, "You are not the only one who knows what is going on. Just because I'm not glued to my office 24/7 doesn't mean that I am not aware of the workings of our business, little brother."

* * *

Olivia looked at herself in the mirror. It was the first time that she was able to fully walk to the bathroom since she got here. She had spent the last couple weeks in bed and was just able to walk without pain a few days ago. She was using her newfound freedom to stretch her legs. She figured the quicker she could be seen up and moving, the quicker she would be released.

Olivia looked around the small bathroom for something to fix her hair with. That would be a start. There was nothing in the bathroom that she could use. Olivia sighed and decided to move her search for a brush in her room.

"You don't look sick," Isabelle said from Olivia's bed.

"I'm feeling better," Olivia walked over to her closet and began to look through it, "Who brought you here?"

"My mom."

Olivia gave a weak smile. She hoped her disappointment wasn't easily noticeable. It wasn't a surprise that her father wasn't the one who came with her sister. It had been a month and still he hadn't visited her. A part of her wasn't surprised that he hadn't showed up. She knew that he wouldn't but some small part of her thought that things had changed. She thought that after moving here, that things would be different. Olivia hated herself for being disappointed when she knew better.

"Where is she?" Olivia asked.

"She went to the atm. We're supposed to be going to lunch after this," Isabelle hopped down from the bed, "What are you looking for?"

"A brush or a comb, something to fix my hair with."

"My mom usually carries a brush in her bag."

After checking in the drawers of the table by her bed with no luck, Olivia gave up her search for a comb and brush and sat down on the bed.

"So how is school? What's been up?"

"We're going on a field trip to the ECHO Center in three weeks."

"What's the ECHO Center?"

"ECHO is a lake aquarium and science center. We actually get to touch the animals and they teach you about science. It's really cool."

"Sounds interesting."

"Maybe if you are out of the hospital you can go as a chaperone. My mom normally volunteers but I'm sure she will let you go if you are feeling up to it."

"Or we can just visit together some time. We can make a whole day of it. Go to the center and then lunch and to get our nails done. And then we can have a sleepover."

"Really," she asked excitedly. Olivia nodded. "That would be awesome."

"I see someone is feeling better," Maria made her presence known as she stepped into their sight.

"Yeah. I'm good actually. I'm ready to go home so I think if they see me up more, they will be ready to release me."

"Are you okay to walk down to the cafeteria? Belle and I were going to get something to eat."

"You don't have to eat cafeteria food on my account."

"We don't mind," Maria and Isabelle said at the same time.

"I have to fix my hair."

"I can do it for you, if you want."

Olivia hesitated before nodding, "Sure."

"One of the perks of having a little girl is I keep just about everything in my bag," Maria dug around in her bag until she pulled out a smaller case. "I can have you fixed up in ten minutes."

Olivia moved to the chair in her room so that Maria could do her hair. She felt a sadness come over her, an emptiness. She thought about her own mother and tried to see if she could remember any moments with her mother doing her hair. Olivia knew that it had to have happened but right here in this moment she couldn't recall and that frustrated her. All she could remember were hospital visits.

Olivia closed her eyes to shut her mind off for a moment. She was working on trying to be positive.

"Does it hurt?"

"No."

"I thought because your eyes were closed that it hurt. Emily closes her eyes when she is trying not to cry."

"Anything special you want done to your hair?"

"No."

"You can get your hair like mine and we can be matching."

Olivia smiled at her little sister. She loved the innocence that kids had. It was hard to be down with her sister's excitement about everything.

* * *

Maria couldn't remember a time that she had been this mad at her husband. Not even when he first told her about Olivia three years ago. She was angry because he had kept a daughter and a previous marriage away from her but forgave him. After finding out that he hadn't been to see Olivia, she was pissed off but also very disappointed in her husband.

She was determined to have a much needed discussion with Eli. After leaving the hospital, Maria dropped Isabelle off at a friend's house and headed home to find out what was going on with her husband.

"Have you gone to see Olivia?"

"Hello to you too."

Maria glared at him.

"Where is Isabelle?"

"Have you gone to see Olivia?" She repeated.

Eli knew that if his wife was asking him, she probably already knew the answer so he thought it was best to be honest.

"I've been a little busy with the shop."

She let out an exasperated sigh.

"She is your daughter."

"Are you about to lecture me?"

"This is not a joke, Elijah. I honestly don't understand why you are taking it as such."

"I'm not. I just don't understand why you are coming in trying to pick a fight with me."

"Olivia is in the hospital. She has been for weeks and you have not went to see her. I'm not trying to pick a fight. I'm trying to understand you and this odd behavior. Do you not care about her?"

"I love Olivia, more than you will ever know."

Eli sighed. He didn't know to explain his reasoning for not going to see Olivia. It was so much about his first marriage that Maria didn't know. So many feelings that he kept bottled up. The painful memories of watching the love of his life die for a sickness that his daughter had. He couldn't go through what he went through with Maya, with Olivia. It was the reason that he never went looking for her. He couldn't watch her be sick and die.

"I don't even feel like I know who you are," her words pierced through his thoughts. "I have been reasonable and understand, even when you lied to me about Olivia."

"I never lied to you about Olivia."

"Twelve years we have been together and you tell me three years ago about Olivia and your first marriage. I was understanding. When you told me she was moving here, I was happy for you and her and for our daughter who was going to get to meet her older sister. I welcomed Olivia and fell in love with her. She is family, like a daughter to me in such a short amount of time. But what I don't understand is why you are shutting her out when she needs you the most? There is something you are not telling me and that ends right now."

Eli rubbed his hand over his face and sighed.

"Maya, my first wife had sickle cell anemia. She wasn't always sick but a few years into our relationship the hospital visits became more frequent. She was sick a lot and in pain," his mouth felt dry and suddenly he couldn't get words out.

He watched as her face softened, a reaction clearly to the pain he was in just talking about Maya.

"I wasn't aware that I carried the trait from my father. We were both young and didn't fully know how to take the proper precautions. When she got pregnant, we were elated because it was something that we never thought could happen. Her pregnancy was good because she wasn't in much pain. Everything was great and then one day Maya asked if there were any chances that Olivia would get sickle cell. They explained it to us and ran test on me. They found out that I had the trait, which I never knew because my dad died when I was young. Olivia was born with sickle cell anemia and things were fine for the first five years of her life. Then one day in the summer after playing outside for a few hours she came in the house because she was having trouble breathing. I took her to the hospital and I found out that she was having her first pain crisis. The next seven years were hard. I was going back and forth between Maya and Olivia being in the hospital. I literally watched Maya die slowly and painfully. I can't watch Olivia die too."

"She's not going to die."

"Maybe not this hospital visit or the next or even the next but I've seen how this plays out."

"Olivia is not Maya. Just because they share the same illness doesn't mean that Olivia's life will end up like Maya's."

Eli didn't say anything. A part of him knew that Olivia's life didn't have to end like Maya's did but that didn't make it any easier to be around his daughter when she was in pain.

"You have to know that just because Maya died doesn't mean that Olivia will meet the same fate."

"I thought that things would different. That I would be able to get past this but I can't," Eli admitted.

"Olivia needs you to. She needs you to be her father. You may not like this but her needs are more important than your feelings right now."

"Until you watch someone you love die, you can't say anything to me."

"I get that this is a touchy subject for you but you cannot ignore the fact that your daughter needs you."

He was quiet for a long moment before saying, "I'm done talking about this."

The look in his eyes scared her. For the first time in their relationship, she didn't recognize the man in front of her. She could see it in her eyes, he had completely shut down.

* * *

Fitz looked up to see what floor the elevator was on before pressing the button. He looked down at his watch. He had no set time that he came to visit Olivia but he had been running all day, and now he felt like he was running late.

"Who do we know that's in the hospital?" Teddy asked.

"My friend Olivia."

"How come I have never met Olivia?"

"You have. Remember the lady we had pizza with?"

"Isabelle's sister?"

Fitz nodded.

"What is she doing in the hospital?"

"She wasn't feeling well."

Fitz was starting to second guess his decision to bring Teddy. He didn't know how Olivia would feel about him bringing his son. After talking with his brother, Fitz didn't want to have his sister-in-law pick Teddy up so he was actually doing everything himself for the past few days. Work and his daddy duties actually felt like they were piling up on him.

The elevator bell rung and seconds later the door opened. They stepped on to the elevator and Fitz pressed the button for the fourth floor. After a quick ride up, they walked down the hall to Olivia's room.

"Knock, knock," Fitz said as they walked in.

"Hey Ms. Olivia."

Olivia smiled at the chipper voice of the little boy.

"Hey, Teddy like the bear."

Teddy jumped up on her bed.

"Watch it, Teddy."

"Sorry," he said innocently.

"It's okay."

"What's wrong with you?"

"Teddy."

"It's fine," Olivia looked at Teddy, "I wasn't feeling well."

"That's what my dad said. But what did the doctor say?"

"Here Teddy," Fitz handed him a tablet, "Play a game or watch some Netflix."

Teddy jumped off of the bed and took a seat in the chair by the window.

"Are you ever going to actually tell me why you're in the hospital?"

"Nope," Olivia shook her head, "You seem tired."

"You're trying to change the subject."

"I'm moving on from a question already answered."

"I see you have a secret admirer," Fitz motioned towards the flowers that sat on the table by her bed.

"Are you jealous?"

"I have no reason to be."

He gave her the lopsided grin that she found to be adorable and completely sexy at the same time.

"They're from my father," Olivia faked a smile. "How was your day?"

"Long and tiring. I had three back to back meetings and worked through lunch in order to be able to leave early enough to pick him up from school."

"Have you eaten?"

"No. We'll probably grab some pizza once we leave here."

"You didn't have come if you were too busy. I won't die because you couldn't come one day."

He frowned slightly. She could tell that it was involuntary. She had probably said the wrong that she didn't mean to. Olivia looked down, she felt the urge to fiddle with her hands.

"You need to eat."

"I'm not going to stay long. I just wanted to see you."

Olivia gave him a weak smile and hoped that she didn't look as disappointed as she felt. Out of all the times Fitz came to visit her over the last two weeks, today she needed him the most. She was instantly reminded that she had no claim to this man or his time.

She felt his hand squeeze hers and she looked up at him.

"What is it?"

"Nothing," she didn't know if she was lying to herself or for his benefit.

How could she tell him that flowers from her father had sent her back into the state of mind that had her wanting to end her own life? Olivia wanted Fitz around but at the same time she knew he was a nice guy who deserved more than her. He shouldn't have to be burdened with her and her many issues. It was her internal struggle of needing him around but caring for him enough to save him from dealing with her.

Her father not coming to see her had really taken a toll on her. It hurt her to know that she wasn't important enough for her father to visit while she was in the hospital. It made her feel stupid for moving out here and believing they could have a relationship. She knew for a fact that if Isabelle had been hospitalized, Eli would have been there. The guilt she felt from even bringing her little sister into this only served as another reason she hated herself.

Picking up on her sad demeanor, Fitz said, "Slide over."

Olivia moved, making room for Fitz to join her on the bed. Fitz got on to the bed with Olivia and she snuggled close to him.

"How are you feeling today?"

"Better now that you're here."

Fitz kissed the top of her head. It felt good to be cared for, and held. Fitz's arms felt like safety and home. It felt like love. Olivia wasn't stupid, she knew that it was too soon to even mention love but it was something in the way he showed up for her every time that had her feeling loved.

Olivia looked up at him. He looked tired but managed a smile anyway. Before she could talk herself out if it, Olivia leaned up and kissed Fitz on the side of his mouth. She wanted to kiss him on the lips but got scared mid-move and the side of his lips is where hers landed.

Their eyes met and for a split second Olivia regretted being so bold. They had flirted but never anything past that. He smiled at her, leaning down he pecked her lips.

She smiled genuinely for the first time that all day. Olivia didn't know how he was able to bring out the light when all she saw darkness but she continued to be grateful for him.

* * *

Fitz showed up to his parents' house early Saturday morning to take his mother to the market. His dad and brothers were going golfing and since Fitz hated golfing, he was the one who had to accompany his mother to the store. Fitz's only problem was that she insisted on going so early in the morning.

"Mom," he called out to her as he entered the house.

"I'm in the dining room."

"I know you didn't have me wake up early-"

Fitz stopped mid-sentence when he saw his brother standing in the doorway of the kitchen. Fitz sighed at the realization of what his mother really called him for.

Ben and Fitz hadn't talked in a week and somehow their mother had found out and wanting to get her boys back on speaking terms.

"Sit down."

Neither one of them moved from their spots.

"You two need to talk," she continued.

"I have nothing to say to him," Ben looked directly at his mother like Fitz wasn't in the room, "And I really wish you wouldn't have pulled me out of bed for this."

"You have so much angry in you towards your brother. Where is this coming from?"

"I'm not angry," Ben said in a softer tone, "I just really don't have the time for this."

"You don't have time to talk your brother."

Fitz spoke before Ben could, "He has said enough. I heard him loud and clear."

"Sit down," she requested again, and again neither one of them moved from their spots.

"Sit down!" Ella Grant raised her voice at her two older children. "Both of you."

Ben and Fitz looked at each other before they both took their seats.

Ella looked at Benjamin, "Apologize to your brother."

"For what?"

"For whatever you said to your brother."

"I wasn't wrong. Fitz is just sensitive."

"Benjamin Ray Grant."

The tone in Eleanor Grant's voice told her son that she was not playing around.

"I'm sorry," Ben apologized but his tone was unconvincing.

Ella smacked his hand with a spatula.

"Ow," Ben grabbed his hand.

Fitz bit his lip to keep from laughing.

"Apologize again and mean it this this time."

"I'm sorry, Fitz. I have been stressed lately and I may have took out my frustration on you. I meant what I said but I probably could have said it better. Or in a way that didn't come off like I was attacking you."

Ella smacked Fitz in the back of the head.

Fitz rubbed his head, "What was that for?"

"You were about to laugh when I hit your brother. I swear it is like you two are twelve and eight again," she looked at Fitz,

"Apologize to your brother because although his words started this little argument between you two, your actions led him there."

"I'm sorry that I didn't manage my time more wisely and that my lack of communication may have added to some of your stress. But in my defense, you worry about everything because you're a control freak."

"Fitzgerald," Ella sighed.

"I'm sorry," Fitz said quickly.

Ella stood, "I am going to leave you two alone. You are not to leave this table until you two are the loving brothers that I raised you to be."

Ella exited the dining room leaving Fitz and Ben alone to talk. The two stared at each other not saying anything. After a few minutes with neither of them talking, they heard their mother's voice from the other room, "I don't hear talking."

Knowing that both of them could literally sit there for hours–they had plenty of times when they were kids–Fitz decided to be the older brother and speak first.

"What are you stressed about?"

"What am I not stressed about?" Ben asked, not answering the question. Fitz just sat there and gave him time to gather his thoughts.

"I'm stressed about work, my home life, and my many failures in all areas of my life."

"Name one part of your life that you see as a failure."

"My marriage," Ben looked away from Fitz, "Kara told me that she is not happy."

Fitz was surprised to hear this. They seemed happy. They had just spent a whole week together celebrating their anniversary.

"When did she say this?"

"While we were on vacation I got a call from the office and I took it. You know me, I'm always double and tripling checking things."

"I know you're a control freak."

Ben glared at Fitz.

"You are. I think it is a result of the anxiety you use to have as a kid."

"It wasn't anxiety. I just know that I can only control myself so if I want something done right, I'm better off doing it."

"Trust issues and anxiety. Not a good combination."

Ben ignored Fitz's words.

"Taking the phone call upset her," he continued, "It ruined our whole trip actually. She was mad at me and unleashed all that she had been holding in for a while."

"What did she say?"

"She feels like a single mom. She never gets to see me and she feels like she's doing everything alone. We don't have enough sex. I give all of my time to work and then the kids and there is little left for her. She told me that she didn't want to be one of those wives who had problems with their husband's busy work schedule but she wasn't happy."

"Wow. That's a lot to unpack."

"Not really. I'm failing as a father and as a man. I am not making my wife happy. I'm probably going to get a divorce."

"You are very pessimistic."

"No, I'm just realistic. Who stays with someone who doesn't make them happy?"

"Has she mentioned divorce?"

"No."

"Then I don't know why you are mentioning it."

"I'm being realistic."

"You're giving up. It's a marriage. It's damn hard work. All long term relationships are."

"I know that but-"

"You don't see a problem with your behavior," Fitz finished for him.

"I'm not a bad guy. I'm running a company. It's not like I'm doing something wrong that I can fix."

"Loosen up a little. You have a Type A personality and it is a lot to handle at times, most of the times actually. You're really intense. Loosen up. Take some time off if you need it. Work from home a few days out of the week."

"Life doesn't work that way."

"Life works the way you live it. If she thinks you work too much, take some time off. Your family is more important than any job."

Noticing Ben's hesitation, Fitz added, "And it's not like the company is not in good hands."

"Who is the girl you're talking to?"

"Already changing the subject."

"I'm having a conversation."

"Her name is Olivia. I met her in a bookstore. She is Isabelle's older sister," Fitz rattled off the bare minimum answers to what he knew would have been the next few questions his brother asked.

"I didn't know Isabelle had an older sister. How old is she?"

"Thirty one."

Ben thought for a moment, "Is this the same woman that you were with all night at that fundraiser?"

"I wasn't with her the whole night but yeah."

"You two seemed close."

"We're friends."

"It looked like you guys are more than friends."

Before Fitz could respond, they heard their mother's voice, "I'm glad you two came to your senses and are talking again."

"You didn't give us much of a choice," Ben said in a playful tone.

"Because I don't like when you guys are fighting."

"You never give us a chance to work things out on our own," Fitz said.

"You two would never work it out because you're both stubborn. You two are more alike than you think."

"We are nothing alike," Fitz and Ben said at the same time.

"Clearly," Ella shook her head with a chuckle. "Breakfast is ready."

Ella disappeared back into the kitchen.

"What did she say to get you here?"

"Grocery shopping because everyone was going golfing with dad."

"Dripping pipe under the sink that dad couldn't get because of his bad back."

They laughed at the excuses their mother had come up with to get them here to talk to one another.

* * *

Olivia laid on her couch letting her tears flow freely. She had fallen into her dark place. She thought once she got home from the hospital she would feel better but being here just made her feel lonely. She had been home two days and hadn't spoke to her dad yet. Olivia's doubts had crept back in and her thoughts got the better of her. Sadness took over and now here she was drowning her sadness in a bottle of wine.

She couldn't believe that she was letting her father affect her this much. This was not the first time that he hadn't been there for her but now felt different. Olivia was confronted with the realization that maybe her father didn't want to be there for her. He had went over fifteen years knowing that she was somewhere out there in the world and not once tried to find her. She didn't feel any closer with him now that they had met again. She regretted making the decision to uproot her life for someone who couldn't even pick up the phone and check on her.

 **On the radio:** _Tonight's topic on Matters of the Heart is: Does unconditional love truly exist? And I'm not talking about the love a parent would have for their children. I'm talking the love a person would have for their soul mate or friend or just people in general. Does unconditional love exist? If so what does your idea of unconditional love look like? Give us a call at 802-215-0520 to voice your opinion._

Olivia closed her eyes trying to silence her thoughts.

 **On the radio:** _We a caller on the line. Caller, state your name and thoughts on if unconditional love really exist._

 **Caller #1:** _My name is Sara and I have hope that unconditional love really exist. I have never had it given to me or felt unconditional love towards someone but I have to believe that it really exist. If it doesn't then what are we doing this whole dating thing for? If someone doesn't love you unconditionally, then even a soul mate can walk away or fall out of love with you._

 **Tommy G:** _Do you feel like unconditional love only comes from romantic relationships?_

 **Caller #1:** _For me it does. I mean outside of my parents and any children, I would have in the future, I can't honestly say I would love a friend unconditionally through everything. I can support them but there are limits._

 **Tommy G:** _Interesting. Thanks for calling in, Sara._

Olivia's head was throbbing. She didn't know if the three glasses of wine that she had drank were finally catching up to her or if it was all the unpleasant thoughts but her head hurt.

She got up off the couch and walked to her bathroom in search of something to stop her headache. She grabbed her pain medicine out of the cabinet, twisting the cap off, she poured some pills into her hand and without a second thought, she took all four pills that had come out of the bottle.

Olivia brought the pill bottle back with her as she settled back on the couch.

 **On the radio:** _I know unconditional love can exist, even after a relationship. I was engaged to a woman before and we called off the wedding. We stayed together a little while after calling off the wedding but when we finally broke up, the love was still there. We couldn't make it as partners but there is nothing that I wouldn't do for her._

Olivia stared at the pill bottle on the table. It was like the pills were calling her name. She had lived recklessly before but never had she felt the need to end it all like she did right now. Olivia tried to think of all the things she had to live for. But the pill bottle calling her name seemed to be blocking out any rational thinking. She just wanted her sadness and pain to end, and in this moment, that pill bottle looked like it had all of the answers to every problem she ever had.

* * *

Fitz was walking back to his car after seeing Abby off. Tonight's show had been really good. It was the first time in a while he hadn't uses a story from his real life as the fuel for the topics. They had received a lot of good stories from the callers tonight.

Fitz phone vibrated and he reached in his pocket to grab it. It was really late for someone to be calling unless it was an emergency. When he saw Olivia's name on his screen, he answered it immediately.

"Liv? Are you okay?" Fitz was instantly alarmed at seeing her name come across his phone screen. Olivia had only been released from the hospital two days ago and now she was calling him at one something in the morning.

"I listened to your show," her words slurred.

Hearing her voice, calmed his thoughts.

"Are you drunk?"

"No," she giggled. "I listened to your show," she repeated.

"Did you like it?"

"I did. I started to call in."

Fitz could tell that she was trying to not slur her words. She was definitely drunk.

"You should have. You know I always like to hear from you."

"I'm calling now."

Something felt eerie about this call.

"Have you been drinking?"

Olivia was silent for a long while.

"My dad didn't visit me while I was in the hospital and I haven't heard from him since I've been home."

Fitz didn't know how to respond to that.

"You asked if unconditional love really exist. I think unconditional love is a fantasy. Something that is put in movies, TV shows, and books to give people hope. But people don't love us how we imagine to be loved. The ways that we dream of love to be is not how it is."

She made a noise that was a mix between a gasp and a hiccup.

"Olivia, are you okay?"

"It hurts my dad to love me."

There was another noise that sounded like a hiccup and then he heard her sniffle.

"I want to die," her voice low.

"What did you take?"

"Some pills, and I'm drinking wine," she giggled, "I guess this is um…I cry for help type of call."

"I'm on way."

"I want to die but I don't want Harrison to find me. Harrison would be so disappointed in me that I gave up."

"You're not going to die, Olivia. I'm not going to let that happened."

"I can't go back to the hospital," she cried.

It pained Fitz to hear Olivia cry.

"I'm not crazy. I'm just in pain."

"I know."

Fitz kept her on the phone as he raced to her place. He was sure that he broke all types of traffic laws as he made the forty minute drive from the radio station to her place in half the time.

Fitz banged on her door. After what felt like an eternity, Olivia opened the door. She offered him a weak smile before stumbling back. Fitz caught her before she could fall.

"I was about to fall asleep because you were taking so long," she sounded dazed.

Fitz scooped her up.

"How many pills did you take?"

"Ten or twelve maybe," her eyes started to close.

"I need you to stay awake," Fitz said as he walked her to the bathroom.

"I'm tired," her voice was drifting off.

"Shit," he cursed as he leaned her over the bathroom toilet.

Fitz stuck his finger down her throat causing her to gag. Olivia coughed and seconds later began to empty the contents of her stomach in the toilet. Fitz held her hair and rubbed her back as she vomited.

"That's it, Liv. I need you to let it all out."


	7. Need Someone

**Need Someone**

" _When you look at me. Try hard to hide it. Try hard to keep it all in. Well I found you out. Discovered your secret. Well honey it ain't a sin, that you, you need someone to love you. You need someone to hold you. Tonight. Someone to love you. Someone to love you. Someone to love you._ "―Mary J. Blige

* * *

The sun peeking through a crack in the curtain woke Olivia. Her head was pounding. She felt like she had a hangover. Olivia blinked her eyes open, slowly attempting to adjust to the early morning sun.

Olivia turned away from the window and caught a glimpse of Fitz sitting on the ottoman at the foot of her bed.

' _Oh, God. Please, no,_ " she thought as pieces of last night came back to her. Did she really try to kill herself? And then call Fitz? She was mortified.

Olivia looked at Fitz but didn't say anything. Had he really stayed here all night. She felt horrible. Why had she brought him into her mess?

"Hi," he smiled at her.

"Hi," she looked down at her hands. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have called you," she said quickly.

"I'm glad you called," he said sincerely.

Fitz watched her, waiting for her to make eye contact with him. She was fiddling with her hands. He had saw her do that before and wondered did she do it unconsciously.

"Liv, look at me."

She continued to pick at her fingers.

"Olivia."

"I'm sorry to have kept you here all night. I'm sure you have to be getting home."

"Are you kicking me out?"

She didn't answer him.

"Look at me, Olivia."

When she finally looked up at him, she had tears in her eyes.

Fitz was there in an instant, wrapping his arms around her.

"I'm sorry," Olivia managed to say before her tears spilled over.

"Stop apologizing."

Olivia allowed herself a moment to just cry and be held by Fitz. She didn't even know why she was crying. Was it that she was frustrated with herself for her moment of weakness? Or was she embarrassed that Fitz was seeing her like this?

After her years subsided, she pulled away from Fitz. They sat in silence for a while before Olivia finally spoke.

"I guess I owe you an explanation."

"It would be nice but you don't owe me anything."

"Where did you come from? You're like the perfect human being."

"I'm far from perfect."

"You should be running far away from me."

"I told you, you don't scare me."

She smiled at him.

"Where do you want me to start?"

"Wherever you are comfortable with starting."

Olivia wasn't comfortable sharing any of this with him but considering that she had tried to kill herself the night prior and called him, she felt like she owed him an explanation. She liked Fitz and she needed him to know she wasn't unstable. She was just in pain and had one bad night.

"I have sickle cell anemia. My mother had it and died from complications from it. After she died my dad gave me up. I went into foster care from the age of twelve to seventeen. I hadn't heard from my dad since I was thirteen and one day I got this bright idea that I wanted to try to find him before my thirtieth birthday. I started looking, it took two years but I finally found him twenty-three days before my thirtieth birthday. I called him and he seemed happy to hear from me. We talked on the phone for a year and a half before I moved here."

Fitz was quiet as he took in all that she had told him. It was the abbreviated version of her life story. He didn't know if he was allowed to ask questions or even if he should.

Olivia didn't know what she expected him to say but his silence spoke volumes. She had finally succeeded in scaring him away. It was probably better this way. She didn't have a chance to fall deep before he turned into just another person who left her.

"Explain sickle cell anemia to me," Fitz voice broke through her thoughts, "I've never heard of it."

He shook his head slightly when he said that as if not doing about it was unacceptable to him.

"It's an inherited form of anemia where there aren't enough healthy red blood cells to carry adequate oxygen throughout your body," Olivia gave a textbook definition, she knew all of them.

"Normally, your red blood cells are round, disc shaped and that allows for them to be flexible and move easily through your blood vessels. With sickle cell anemia, your red blood cells shaped like crescent moons. The irregularly shaped cells can get stuck in small blood vessels, which can slow or block blood flow and oxygen to parts of the body."

"That sound painful and dangerous. Do you have trouble breathing if you are not getting oxygen to parts of your body at times?"

"It is very painful. The lack of oxygen can cause crises, that's what we call a sudden, severe pain. The pain attacks come without warning and normally results in a hospital visit."

"That's why you were in the hospital?"

Olivia nodded, "I woke and my legs my numb but I had this sharp pain in my lower back. I couldn't move so I called Harrison and he took me to the hospital."

"Do you have pain crisis often?"

"Two, maybe three times a year. It was worse when I was in my teens. There was one year that I went to the hospital fifteen times."

Fitz immediately felt sorry for Olivia. The life she must have had, he couldn't imagine being a kid going through that, let alone going through it without your parents. Just as soon as they pity came, he shook it off because he could tell that Olivia wasn't the type of person who wanted people to feel sorry for her. The pity was replaced with profound respect and appreciation that she had made it through it all, that she had made it here, to him.

"I thought things were going to be different when I moved here. When my dad didn't come by or call me when I was in the hospital, I started to second guess myself, my decision to uproot my life and move here. There is a part of me that feels so empty and unlovable knowing that I have one blood relative out there and that person doesn't love me enough to be there for me. When my dad didn't show up when I was in the hospital, I became twelve again and my mother was dead and dad didn't want me. I was all alone. I didn't know how to deal with that, I still don't. Last night was proof of that."

"You can't look at it like that. I don't know what your father's issue is but you can't let him be the reason that you give up. You have been through so much and you are here today. You have amazing people around you. Just because your dad won't be there for you doesn't mean that something is wrong with you. It's not you. It's him."

She appreciated his words. She could tell by the look in his eyes that he was being sincere and not just giving her lip service.

"Are you hungry? You have to be. You've been here all night."

"I could eat."

"I'm going to make you breakfast."

Fitz noticed her sudden change but didn't mention it. She had laid out some heavy stuff so he figured she need a change of pace.

"I see you're not trying to kick me out anymore."

"You stayed up all night for me. I figured you could at least use a meal before you go on your way."

"Wound me, Liv," Fitz put his hand over his heart, feigning hurt.

Olivia smiled at him, grateful that he was here with her.

* * *

Fitz arrived home a little after two that afternoon. The house was quiet. If it wasn't for seeing Karen's car outside, he would think that the house was completely empty. He walked through the first floor, finding Karen and Teddy in the back yard.

Fitz went outside to join them.

"Hey," Fitz took a seat on the patio steps next to Karen.

"Hey."

"Thank you for staying with him."

"It's no problem. Did you have fun with your radio show groupie?"

Fitz bumped her shoulder, "What makes you think I have radio show groupies?"

"I know how those middle aged soccer moms just love you."

"I don't have groupies."

"You stayed over a friend's house. A friend who you went to see at two in the morning," she bumped his shoulder back, "The only thing open after two in the morning in Vermont is some legs."

"Don't talk like that," Fitz chuckled.

"Hey dad," Teddy ran and jumped in Fitz lap.

"Hey bud."

"I thought I wasn't going to see you today."

"Why would you think that?"

"Because you weren't here when I woke up and you're always here when I woke up."

"I had to check on a friend."

"How is Olivia?"

Fitz wasn't expecting that question.

"What?"

"How is Olivia?" Teddy repeated. "Whenever you say friend, you really mean Olivia."

Fitz looked over to Karen who was staring at him with a smirk on her face, waiting for him to answer.

"She's fine."

"You're hanging out with Olivia Pope or is there another Olivia in your life I don't know about?"

"There is no other Olivia."

"When did this become a thing?"

"When did she become my friend?"

"Are you guys just friends?"

"Something like that."

"Mhm."

Karen decided to table the conversation since Teddy was around but she made a mental note to come back to it.

* * *

Fitz walked into his office with a pile of photos in hand. He had just finished a meeting with the art department and was now looking through some of the print samples for a campaign they were working on. He was going to work through lunch again so that he could leave early to pick up his son.

Fitz didn't notice his mother sitting over on the couch in the corner of his office. It wasn't until Ella said his name, did he look over and saw her sitting there.

"Mom, to what do I owe this surprise visit?"

"I wanted to have lunch with my oldest child," she held up a bag, "I brought leftovers."

"I was actually going to work through lunch. It's kind of my thing now."

"You have to eat. Come, sit."

Fitz dropped the photos on his desk and walked over to sit next to his mom on the couch.

"You're busy a lot and I feel like I haven't seen you in a while," she handed him a container of food, "What's going on with you?"

"Nothing. I've just been working."

"In two weeks on Sunday we're having big family dinner. I expect to see you at the house."

"I'll be there."

Ella looked at her son.

"I'm worried about you."

"Why?"

"You bury yourself in work when you're trying to block something out. I haven't heard from you in a week. Even if you don't stop by the house you normally call but it's been silent for a week. I'm worried about you."

"Don't be."

"I'm your mother. It's my job to worry when you're shutting yourself off from family."

"I'm not trying to. I promise. I'm just...I don't even know."

"Talk to me."

"I have this friend who is going through a really tough time and I don't know if I can help her."

"That was very vague. What's going on with her?"

"She moved here a few months ago to reconnect with her dad who she hadn't seen since she was thirteen. She was in the hospital for a month and he didn't visit her so she is starting to second guess moving here or if he really wants a relationship with her."

"That's rough. Has she talked to her dad since she has been home?"

"No," he shook his head, "That's also something that's bothering her. He didn't call when she was out of the hospital."

"I'm sure your friend doesn't want to face this reality but maybe her dad doesn't want a relationship with her. She should trust her gut."

"It's more complicated than that."

"Why were they estranged?"

"Her mother was sick and she died when she was twelve. Her father gave her up to child protective services after that."

Ella had to stop herself from saying something judgmental. She didn't know this man but as a mother, she couldn't imagine willingly giving away one of her children.

"She is sick too. She has the same illness that killed her mother. Sickle cell anemia. I looked it up after she told me about it. Most people's red blood cells are round and flexible and able to flow through your blood vessels freely. People with sickle cells have crescent moon shaped red blood cells that get stuck in their blood vessels and causes a lack of oxygen in the body. The lack of oxygen causes severe pain attacks and over time can cause organ damage."

Fitz had spent the last few days reading up on sickle cell anemia. It was terrifying knowing that someone he cared about had to deal with that on a daily basis.

"Sickle cells can't change shape easily so they tend to burst apart. Normal red blood cells live about 90 to 120 days, but sickle cells last only 10 to 20 days," Fitz sprouted out facts from his memory, "The body is always making new red blood cells to replace the old cells but with sickle cells, the body has trouble keeping up with how fast the cells are being destroyed. People with sickle cells have a lower red blood cell count than normal. That is the anemia part."

Ella stared at Fitz. She could see it in his eyes, he had feelings for this _friend_.

"What's her name?"

"Olivia."

As if he knew he had exposed himself, Fitz focused on his food. The pair ate in silence for a few minutes.

"You care about Olivia," Ella stated.

"Sure. She's my friend," Fitz tried to act nonchalant about it.

"Are you going to keep calling her a ' _friend_ ' for my benefit or for yourself?"

"We are friends."

"But you have feelings for her."

"I don't know," he lied.

Fitz knew that he was falling for Olivia but after the last few days, he was second guessing that decision.

"She tried to kill herself a week ago," Fitz admitted to his mother, "She took some pills and drank some wine. She called me because we talk daily and she listens to my show."

Saying those words out loud opened up something in Fitz.

"Before she went into the hospital we were supposed to go out. I am developing feelings for her but I am scared to have those type of feelings because I don't know what I'm supposed to do if something happens to her."

It felt good to finally be honest.

"She is in pain and I don't know what to do or say to make her feel better. It is frustrating because I feel helpless..."

Fitz felt the same anger rising up in him that he did when Karen had her accident. The fact that he couldn't help her, piled on with finding out that she wasn't his biological daughter hurt like hell and brought out an anger that was smothering. Fitz was torn. He was mad at Olivia for hurting herself but he understood why she felt she had to. He was fighting his feelings and the need to put distance between himself and Olivia. He didn't want to open himself up to be hurt but at the same time, he couldn't stay away from her. He cared about Olivia too much to be just another person in her life who left her.

"Are you sure that you are ready to take all of this on?"

"No."

"Fitz, I don't think you should go into this friendship or relationship or whatever you want to call it unless you are all in."

"I know. I'm just working through it."

"Have you talked to her?"

"It's been a couple of days since we last talked."

"I trust you will make the right decision. You know what's best for you."

Talking with his mother helped. Just getting the words out, letting his fears out felt good and it gave him clarity. Fitz knew what he wanted and what he had to do.

* * *

Olivia was taking things one day at a time. She had hit a terrible low and was trying to crawl her way out of it. It was a slow climb because of the remorse she felt for trying to end her life, was having an effect on her. Olivia was doing everything that she could to get back to herself. She was getting out of the house, exercising again, and she had even reached out to Stephen to see about having a session. At this point, she was even willing to travel to him.

For now she was keeping busy helping Quinn with her job search. Olivia was in the middle of updating Quinn's resume when she got a text from Fitz. She stared at her phone for a few seconds. It had been a few days since she had talked to Fitz and her feelings were a little on edge. On one hand she knew he had a life and responsibilities before her and he couldn't neglect them for her. But she really liked his company and he made her feel safe, loved even. On the other hand, she feared that she had shown too much of her crazy too fast. Maybe he had decided that he didn't to be in her life. She hoped that wasn't the case because just the thought of a life without Fitz didn't feel right.

Olivia tried to remember when he had come in and started taking up a place in her heart. When had she fallen for him? Is fallen the right word? Had she fallen in love with him? Or was it…she would be lying to herself if she called her feelings anything else but love but somehow it felt deeper. It felt like their souls were just intertwined, wrapped up into one another. Like she knew him before. She could be her worse self and her true self with him and somehow he would still look at her like she had placed every single star in the sky.

Olivia looked down at the simple greeting he had texted her.

 **Fitz:** _Hi._

Deciding to play it safe, she texted him the same thing right back.

 **Liv:** _Hi._

 **Fitz:** _How are you?_

' _I'm doing relatively fine considering you forgot all about me_ ,' Olivia typed out before quickly backspacing the whole thing and adding something generic.

 **Liv:** _I'm good._

 **Liv:** _I'm surprised to hear from you._

Olivia found that to be the most non-confrontational way for her to respond while still getting her feeling across.

 **Fitz:** _I'm sorry. I've been a little swamped at work. My brother cut down some of his days due to a personal issue so I've been trying to be around more._

She felt bad for saying something.

 **Liv:** _I'm sorry. That was inconsiderate of me. I know you have other things going on. You don't owe me an explanation._

Seconds later, Olivia's phone rang. She smiled before answering the call.

"Hi," she said into the phone.

"Hi."

They were silent on the phone for a long moment.

"Are you still there?" Olivia asked lowly.

"I'm not going anywhere."

His words sent a shock through her body.

"I just wanted to hear your voice."

A thought came to her mind and she immediately responded, "Is this because of what happened?"

She wondered if he had her on some type of suicide watch or something. Was he calling her because he thought that she couldn't be left alone?

"Something happens and you are the one I want to talk to," he said simply, and yet somehow she understood what he was saying.

"I don't want to overwhelm you but when something happens in my life, no matter how big or small, you're the person that I want to call."

His words sounded a lot like: _**You're the one I want to share my world with.**_

Before Olivia could stop herself, she asked him, "What are you doing this weekend?"

"Besides working?"

"Well not this weekend but Thursday night?"

"Are you trying to ask me out?"

"Not quite. I'm having Isabelle and Zoe over so I figured we could do a little sleepover with the kids."

It was a lie but she wanted to spend some time with Fitz and she had promised her sister a sleepover so figured they could make it a little party. That way Fitz could bring his son.

"You don't have to bring the kids into this if you want me to sleep over."

Olivia couldn't help the smile on her face. She enjoyed how flirtatious he was.

"I know Isabelle would like having Emily over."

"And you would like having me over."

Olivia didn't say anything.

"Come on. You can admit it. I won't tell anyone."

"I would like to have you over."

Fitz smiled.

"You still owe me a date."

"I know. I figured this could be a start."

"So you are using the children to get to me."

"Maybe," she giggled, "I can't hog all your time so I guess I'll share you."

"You could have all of my time if you just asked."

"You know that I'm not going to do that."

Fitz didn't take offense at her words. He knew what meant.

"I'm going to break you out of that."

"I look forward to you trying."

* * *

It had been a while since Olivia had set foot in her father's home. Even standing there now waiting for Maria to finish getting Isabelle ready for their sleepover, Olivia felt out of place, like she didn't belong there.

Olivia stood in the hallway not touching anything. She looked down at the time on her cellphone. She wanted Maria and Isabelle to hurry up because she with her luck, her dad would come home before she could leave.

A few minutes later, Maria and Isabelle came down the stairs.

"Wow. Did you bring your whole room?"

"No, silly."

Olivia grabbed one of Isabelle's bags from Maria.

"I like to be prepared and I want to leave some things at your house."

"She thinks of your house as a second home," Maria said.

"It is. She is always welcomed."

"See mom, I told you she wouldn't mind."

Before she could respond, the front door opened. Maria noticed Olivia stiffen up.

"Well this is a surprise. All of my girls in one place."

Olivia didn't know why but the sound of his voice made her sick to her stomach. How could he sound so chipper as if nothing had happened? As if he hadn't abandoned her a second time?

"Hey daddy," Isabelle hugged her father.

"I'm going to take this to the car," Olivia said to Maria.

Olivia turned and headed to the door without giving her father a glance.

"Olivia," Eli called out to her but she ignored him.

Eli looked at his wife. She didn't offer him any reassurance because the way she saw it, he had made his own bed and he had to lay in it.

If Isabelle picked up on the tension in the room, she didn't mention it.

"Bye mom, dad," she followed after Olivia.

"What was that?" Eli asked once Isabelle was out of earshot.

"Are you really going to act like you don't know?"

"I didn't think she would totally ignore me."

"She is just doing you like you did her."

Maria left Eli with her words as she went to see the girls off.

* * *

Fitz knocked on Olivia's door. A few seconds passed before the door open. Fitz felt his breath be taken away at the sight of Olivia. She looked beautiful in just a simple gray shirt and black leggings. Her hair was in its natural curly state and pulled back into a ponytail.

"Hey," Olivia stepped aside letting them in.

"Hey Miss Olivia," Teddy said as he walked pass.

"Hey Liv," Emily spoke as she walked by.

"I haven't met you," Olivia looked at the second little boy.

"That's my little brother, Jamison," Emily said.

"Hi," came the timid little voice.

"Hi," Olivia smiled at him.

Olivia helped everyone get settled in. She gave a quick tour of the house and the kids settled in the living room.

Olivia went back in the kitchen with Fitz following behind her.

"How are you feeling today?"

"I'm good."

She walked over to the refrigerator to grab the food to start making dinner.

"I was thinking of making chicken fajitas. Chicken is good for everyone, right?"

"Yeah."

As Olivia was busy grabbing food, she didn't notice Fitz walking over to her until he was standing right behind her.

"Can I help you with anything?"

Fitz was standing incredibly close. Olivia turned to face him. Fitz took the food out of her hands.

"I missed you."

Olivia leaned up and gave him a peck on the lips.

"Am I allowed to do that?"

Fitz didn't answer her with words, instead his tongue slide across her bottom lip before he pulled it into his mouth. His tongue in her mouth was both gentle but held so much hunger. Olivia felt a heat rising up the back of her neck. When Fitz pulled away, it was too soon for Olivia's liking.

Olivia's eyes fluttered open.

"Damn. That was good."

Fitz chuckled.

"So chicken fajitas."

"Yeah."

For the next thirty minutes, Fitz and Olivia made small talk about their week as they prepared dinner. Olivia's phone rang interrupting their talk. Looking down at her caller ID, she quickly excused herself to take the call.

Fitz looked through the cabinets until he found a frying pan. He couldn't help but hear parts of Olivia's conversation as she walked back and forth.

"Can you please come?"

Fitz knew that he shouldn't be eavesdropping but he couldn't help himself. He always seemed to be aware of Olivia, even when not in close proximity, if they were in the same space, he would seek her out.

"I know I'm asking for a lot."

Fitz could only hear one side of the phone conversation and since she was pacing in circles, her voice was going in and out.

"No. I know. Thanks. I'll see you next week."

Fitz busied himself with cutting up peppers to go with their dinner.

"Sorry about that. I just really had to take that call," Olivia said as she went back to her side of the island to finish preparing the fixings for their chicken fajitas.

"It's fine. Is everything okay?"

"Yeah. That was my therapist. We've been playing phone tag for the last few days. He is going to come out here so we can have a session."

"That's great that he is willing to travel."

"Yeah. He is pretty accommodating."

"How long have you been in therapy? If you don't mind me asking."

"No. I don't mind. Apparently I'm an open book with you."

Fitz smiled at her.

"Off and on since I was seventeen. I started group therapy after my foster mother died and I went M.I.A for a few days. It was a stipulation of me getting to live with Harrison since he was legally an adult. It was either go to group therapy and stay with Harrison until I turned eighteen or go to a group home and have group sessions there."

"I'm glad that you have Harrison."

"Me too. He hovers at times but I don't know what my life would be like without him. Don't tell him I said that."

"I won't."

"I'm the total package; sickness and therapy with the occasional thoughts of dying."

Fitz stared at her, biting his bottom lip but not saying anything.

"It was a joke. A bad one, clearly."

Olivia could tell by the look on his face that she had said something wrong. He looked upset.

"Say what's on your mind."

Fitz said nothing. He turned his back on her, adding the peppers he had cut to a frying pan.

Olivia took his silence as him needing space and went to go check on the kids. She left the kitchen and went into the living room. Only the two boys were in there.

"Are you guys okay?"

"Yeah," Teddy and Jamison said in unison without looking up from the TV.

"Where is the girls?"

"They went to do girl things."

What the hell does that mean? Olivia thought.

Olivia went looking around the house for the three little girls. She found them in her room. They had found her one medium size bag full of makeup and were doing their faces. Zoe's attempt to put on red lipstick ended up more on her cheeks than her lips. Emily's eyeshadow ran into her eyebrows. Isabelle's attempt at a winged eyeliner almost ran into her hair.

"You guys could have just asked if you wanted to do makeup," Olivia spoke up making her presence known.

"We wanted to surprise you," Isabelle smiled innocently at her sister.

"Well this is a surprise."

"Do we look pretty?" Emily asked.

"You look beautiful."

"Is dinner almost ready?" Isabelle changed the subject.

"Twenty minutes. You guys might want to clean up so that you can be ready to eat soon."

"Okay."

"Put everything back how you found it."

"We will."

Olivia didn't know if she should trust the two seven year olds to put things back on their own but she did. It was just makeup. The worse that would happen would be that she would have a small mess to clean up.

Olivia made her way back into the kitchen. She stared at Fitz's back for a moment as he faced away from her. She studied him and for the first time, she wondered what his hang-ups where. What was it with him? She had noticed that he could go from hot to cold in a matter of seconds. Olivia wondered if he had a temper. She couldn't see how because he always calmed her but something was off with him.

Fitz turned around to face her. He looked like he wanted to say something but he didn't.

"Whatever you need to say, I can take it."

"I'm sure you have to have a sense of humor about these things but I don't like the way you talk about yourself sometimes."

"Well if you can't laugh at yourself…," her voice trailed off at the look of displeasure on his face.

"Say what's on your mind, Fitz."

"I lied, when I said that you didn't scare me."

Olivia crossed her arms to keep her hands from shaking. She knew she had ruined it but she wasn't ready to hear the words.

"I had time to think and if I'm being completely honest, I'm mad at you," Fitz leaned on the island.

Olivia wasn't sure how to respond. For someone who was angry, Fitz was really calm.

"I care about you, a lot. I know that I don't have a right because I don't know your pain but I am ANGRY that you tried to...you almost died."

The look in his eyes matched the pained sound of his voice.

"The thought of you not being here is something that I can't handle. I have a son to think about."

Olivia nodded. She understood completely. It didn't make it easier to hear but she understood.

"You scare me, not enough to run me off but before I open myself up to you, I have to know that you won't ever do something like that again."

"I had one bad night."

"I get that but life is full of bad nights and horrible days," Fitz paused, he didn't know how to word what he really wanted to say to her and didn't want anything to come out wrong.

"I guess what I'm really trying to say is that if I'm going to be here for you, I need you to be here too. I can't go all in if there is the possibility that I can lose you. I just need to know what are we doing. If it's friendship or something else. And I need you to not make light of the situation. It makes me uncomfortable. Your pain is not something to be taken lightly."

Fitz knew firsthand what is was like to have you pain and feelings not matter to people. He knew the anger and resentment that awoke in him and he didn't want that for her.

"Sorry. Bad defense mechanism, I guess."

Olivia looked down for a moment. She didn't understand who he could make her want to bare her soul and be so vulnerable with him. She was normally a person who kept things to herself but she was an open book with Fitz. This was all new and scary for her but somehow he had become a part of her life to the point that she couldn't imagine her world without him in some type of way.

"You make me feel safe, and cared for and I've never felt that," she spoke honestly, "It's endearing you to me. I can't say that I expect you to deal with all that I have thrown at you. I understand if you can't handle it but I would really like it if you could."

And just like that, his eyes soften and Fitz walked over to her.

"I need to hear you say it."

Somehow she knew what he was asking her.

"I'm never going back to that dark place."

Fitz looked into her eyes.

"I believe you. I trust you but life happens so if something happens, I need to know that you will call me first before you do anything."

"If something happens, I'll call you."

Fitz cupped her face in his hands.

"So we're in this together?"

"We're in this together."


	8. 10,000 Hours

**10,000 Hours**

" _I've been right and I've been wrong. I've been high and I've been low but this time I know it's for sure cause I'm right where I belong. Yeah we're only getting stronger. Feels good to be down in my soul...There's no time for us holding out cause this love is profound. Let the clock go round, let the clock go round. Love is best when built from the ground. To your heart I am bound. Let the clock go round, let the clock go round…Don't stop I'm counting them up. Run the clock I be counting them up. We can be so in love. You know every second adds up to a minute. Need 10,000 hours. We could be so in love._ "―Ella Mai

* * *

"I think your sister is my uncle's girlfriend."

"Why do you think that?"

"Look at the way they are sleeping. My parents sleep like that sometimes."

The not so quiet whispers of two seven year olds was the first thing Fitz heard before he even opened his eyes.

"Does that mean that we are related?" Isabelle asked.

"I think so. I don't know how though."

"Cousins maybe. I think everyone who is family but you don't know how ends up your cousin."

Fitz blinked his eyes open. The first thing he saw was the girls standing over them.

"Good morning," Isabelle greeted first.

"Is Olivia your girlfriend?" Emily asked.

Fitz stared at her blankly for a moment before looking down at Olivia. They had all camped out in the living room. The kids slept on pallet on the floor and Olivia and Fitz had fallen asleep couch.

"I take a no answer as a yes, uncle Fitz."

"Don't you want her to be your girlfriend so that we can be related?" Isabelle asked.

"She's already his girlfriend. They're sleeping together," Emily gestured towards them.

"We're not…," Fitz started but then stopped realizing that she meant actual sleeping, "Why are you two up so early?" He changed the subject.

"It's almost ten in the morning," Isabelle informed him.

"And we're hungry. Can you make banana and chocolate chip pancakes?"

"If Liv has the stuff I'll make it."

"Can we help?"

"Sure. Go get cleaned up and by the time you come back, I'll be ready."

The two ran off to ran off to go cleaned up.

"We're sleeping together," Olivia said with a laugh.

"How much of that were you awake for?"

"Somewhere around the time of them trying to figure out how they were related. I thought you would be better at answering their line of questions so I was fully committed to playing sleep until it was all over."

Olivia shifted on top of him, attempting to sit up. The moment she sat up, Fitz missed her body on his. He wasn't ready to separate from her but he sat up anyway.

"You never answered her question," she looked over at him.

"Come here."

Olivia leaned over and Fitz cupped her face, bringing his lips down on hers. The kiss was gentle but intense. His tongue slipped into her mouth, and she eagerly sucked on it. Their kiss held a familiarity of old lovers, as if this wasn't new to both of them.

Fitz pulled away before they could get to carried away.

"Good morning," he said looking into her eyes.

"Good morning," Olivia bit her bottom lip, trying to savor the taste of him.

He smiled at her.

"What are you doing next weekend?"

"Writing probably but besides that my schedule is wide open."

"My mom is cooking dinner for the family. You should come."

Olivia wasn't expecting that but surprisingly, the idea of dinner with his family didn't scare her.

"You want me to meet your parents?"

Her question made her nervous for some reason. Maybe he was pushing her too fast. Fitz quickly spoke, giving her an out if she wanted it.

"It's not a big deal. It's just my parents, my siblings, and our kids. My mom holds a family dinner once a month just to get us all together in the same space. You don't have to come if you don't want to."

"I want to," she said quickly, not letting him think for a second that she was scared of getting to meet the most important people to him. "I would love to have dinner with your family."

"You've already met my kids, niece, nephew, and one brother, so it's just my parents and two siblings you haven't met. And my sister-in-law Kara. She's great. You two will get along well," he said all in one breath.

Olivia pecked his lips.

"You're rambling."

Fitz thumb grazed across her cheek. Before he could respond, they heard giggles from Emily and Isabelle.

"I knew she was your girlfriend," Emily jumped into Fitz's lap.

"Let's go make pancakes," Fitz totally ignoring her words.

"Don't change the subject, uncle Fitz."

"Okay."

Fitz started to tickle Emily. She laughed and squirmed, trying to get away.

"No. Don't try to run away now," he continued tickle her.

"Help. Help, Isabelle," she laughed.

Olivia watched as Isabelle went to help Emily and got in on the tickle-fest. She smiled as she watched him play with the girls. He was perfect.

"Liv, help," Isabelle said through her laugh.

Olivia hated being tickled with a passion so she had no plans of jumping in.

"Use your girlfriend powers," Emily said.

Fitz winked at her and smiled. It was her move.

She leaned in and kissed him, nothing too crazy because there were children around but it was enough to do the trick.

"Go make the pancakes."

"Yes, ma'am."

Olivia watched as Fitz stood and walked with the girls into the kitchen. She couldn't stop the smile that came across her face. Fitz was special. He had something she could work with.

* * *

Fitz had spent most of the day running around with Karen, helping her move out of her dorm. Now that the semester was over, she was coming home for the summer. Fitz was happy to have her home for the next few months because the house felt less lively without her. Teddy was always excited to have his big sister around, and house just felt more like home when Fitz had both his children under one roof.

"I need to ask you a favor," Karen said as she plopped down next to him.

"What is it?"

"I know it's last minute. I don't want any handouts but I was wondering if there are any openings at GA?"

"I didn't know you were interested in advertising."

"I'm not NOT interest in it but I've been looking for a job and I haven't had any luck. I'll take mailroom, coffee getter, assistant to someone. I don't care. I just want a job so I can start saving for a place."

"You want to move out?"

Fitz knew that Karen wouldn't be staying with him forever but he hated the idea of her living on her. Growing up in a full house with three younger siblings and both parents, Fitz never got used to being in an empty house. It was the one downside to his divorce. Karen living on campus and only coming home for breaks and with Teddy spending every other weekend and holidays with his mom, left his house not really feeling like a home at times.

"I graduate in December. I'm going to be twenty-three soon. I can't live at home forever."

"You could."

"As much as I love it at home, we're both adults with adult lives."

Fitz frowned at her.

"I'm an adult woman with adult needs."

"Stop that."

"Don't be like that."

"You are forever going to be my little girl. I don't want to hear about your adult needs. As far as I know you are a virgin until marriage."

"You weren't a virgin until marriage."

"Don't make the mistakes I have made."

"That ship has sailed."

Fitz looked at her.

"Don't play like that," Fitz spoke completely from a place a denial.

"I'm not playing."

"When?"

"Eight months ago. I was a late bloomer. I lost my virginity at twenty-one."

"I don't like this."

"You had to know I wasn't going to be a virgin forever."

"Yeah but no one wants to think of their little girl being…you know," Fitz couldn't even say the words.

"If it makes you feel any better, it was with one of my best friends."

"Are you a lesbian?"

"Haha but no," Karen shook her head.

"His name is Ryan."

Fitz rolled his eyes. It was involuntary but he already didn't like Ryan for deflowering his baby girl.

"He actually wanted to help me move today," Karen continued, "But I didn't want you to just spring him on you."

"Are you serious about Ryan?"

"Yeah. He is my…"

"Your what?"

"My boyfriend, kinda-ish."

Fitz didn't like the sound of that but wanted to remain open minded for her.

"What does that mean?"

"He is my boyfriend but we are in this weird space."

"You are not selling him to me," Fitz shook his head.

"He is great. We're great. It's just school right now that keeps us apart. We are serious but school takes priority for both of us right now. We've been transitioning from the friend's stage to the relationship stage but we're kind of at a standstill because school keeps us busy."

"How long have you two been friends?"

"I met him second semester, freshman year so three and half years."

"Since you're serious about him, I can't wait to meet him," Fitz was trying to be supportive and end the conversation before it went somewhere he didn't want to go.

"I'm sure we can find a spot for you at the office," he tried to change the subject.

"It's funny you mentioned meeting Ryan. I invited him to dinner."

"Dinner where?"

"At grandma's house."

Fitz chuckled.

"What?"

"Nothing," he shook his head, "It's just funny because I invited Liv to dinner."

"Really?" Karen had a smirk on his face, "So you guys are serious?"

"Yeah, we are," he nodded. "We're taking it one day at a time and seeing where this thing goes."

"I don't know how to feel about this."

Fitz didn't know how to respond. He didn't consider how Karen would feel about them dating.

"I don't mean that in a bad way," she said reading his face, "I didn't think you guys' relationship through. Olivia is literally the woman I want to be when I grow up. I've followed her career and life for the last five years. I'm a little nervous to sit across from her at the dinner table."

The relief was written on Fitz's face. Karen was just nervous, not opposing their relationship.

"You remember how I acted the first time I saw her? I literally asked for her autograph and told her she meant the world to me. She probably thinks I'm crazy."

"She doesn't. She's not like that at all. Liv is very humble and amazing. She's been through so much in her life and she is so strong and kind and warm. The kids love her," Fitz rambled on until he caught the look Karen was giving him.

Without Karen even saying a word, Fitz knew that he must have been giving off heart eyes. He was smitten with Olivia and it showed in the way he talked about her.

"Wow. I've never seen you like this before. Not even with mom before things went south."

Fitz opened his mouth to speak but closed it because he didn't have an answer that he would ever be comfortable sharing with his daughter.

"It's okay. I know my mom trapped you with a baby that turned out not to be yours."

"Karen—"

"It's fine. I mean, it's not but I like to believe that since she screwed us both over that we can always be honest with each other about our feelings on the matter."

Fitz nodded. He loved the relationship that he had with Karen. Despite the time that she shut him out after her accident and finding out that he wasn't her biological father, Karen always talked to him about everything. They were always close but even closer after finding out the truth. Fitz appreciated that she was always candid with him.

"I know that you were only with my mom because of me."

"We were both very family oriented. We weren't just going to co-parent. We wanted to give you both parents in the same home."

"You probably should have co-parented. You probably would be happier."

"I'm happy."

"Maybe now but you spent many years just coasting through. This isn't the life that you wanted."

"It's the life that I have and I'm happy with it. Where is this come from all of a sudden?"

"Things are clicking in place. I just saw you light up when you talked about Olivia and I realized that I have never seeing you truly happy. I'm happy that you're at this place."

Fitz smiled at her.

"Since we're talking candidly, do you ever want to talk to Andrew?"

It was a question that has plagued Fitz's mind for the last four years. He wondered what Karen thought of Andrew? Did she want a relationship with him but didn't for Fitz's benefit?

"No," she shook her head. "I've thought about it before but there's too much bad feelings there. A part of it is because it feels disrespectful to you."

"Don't let me stop you from getting to know him if you want to. I'm fine with it," he said sincerely.

"I know you are. It's just you're my dad in every way possible. He knew that my mom was married when he started sleeping with her again and he didn't care. The disrespect to you and our family is not something that I take lightly. It's hard for me to see him as anything other than a piece of shit."

Fitz gave her a look and she quickly apologized for her language.

"My mom and Andrew act like I should just accept him but I can't. He hasn't done anything to show me that I should even think about having him in my life."

Fitz thought about the partial lung that Andrew donated to help save Karen's life but nothing would allow him to defend Andrew. He hated him for the same reasons Karen didn't want anything to do with him. In truth, Andrew was a victim like Fitz. He was robbed of getting the chance to see his daughter grow up but instead of Andrew directing his anger at the person who was really to blame, Andrew hated Fitz for having the life he thought belonged to him. Needless to say, the two were like oil and water, they just didn't mix.

"If he came at me the right way, maybe I would consider getting to know him. But as long as him and my mother demand that I talk to him, I'm not going to give them the satisfaction."

"So you're doing this out of spite?"

"A small part of me is being petty."

"That's my girl," Fitz laughed.

"What's for dinner?" Karen asked moving on from talking about Andrew and her mother.

"What do you want for dinner?"

"I want to go out to eat. We haven't done a daddy daughter date night in a while."

A smile spread across Fitz's face at the mention of their little outings. Karen was an only child for sixteen and a half years before Teddy came. As an only child, she got lots of attention from both of her parents. Fitz use to take her out and spend time with just her. They would go to dinner and the movies or shopping or just spending the day together doing whatever she wanted. Karen started calling their alone time together daddy daughter date nights when she was eight, after she was told that she couldn't go out with Fitz and Mellie during one of their date nights. She assumed that any time two people went out it was a date so daddy daughter date nights were born.

With all that happened in the last few years and her being at school, they never just went out with just the two of them anymore. He actually missed the time that they use to spend together.

"I think we can make that happen."

* * *

Olivia couldn't remember the last time she felt so good. After spending much of the weekend with Fitz and the children, she felt happy and energized. Her week had been going perfectly and she was determined to channel those feelings as she prepared to go into her session with Stephen. She had a lot of time to think over the last few days and Olivia honestly didn't know why she was letting her father get to her. Olivia had gone more than half of her life without him and although painful, she had made it through. She was ashamed of herself for letting him get to her so much.

Olivia didn't feel like she needed to see Stephen because she was in a better place. But since he had made the trip all the way here, she was going to talk with him. They decided to have her therapy session in his hotel room since it would give them the privacy they needed.

"Hey Stephen," Olivia greeted him with a hug.

"It's so good to see you, Liv."

"It's good to see you too."

"You look well. Better than you sounded on the phone."

"I feel good. Better than I have in a long time."

Stephen motioned for Olivia to take a seat and she did.

"That's good to hear. Can I get you something to drink?"

"No, I'm fine."

Stephen took a seat across from her.

"How's Vermont treating you?"

"Good. It was a rocky start but things are getting better."

Stephen looked at her. She seemed completely different from the frantic woman leaving him messages a week ago. She even sounded better than when they talked a few days ago.

"How's the book coming?"

"Slow. I haven't written much lately because of personal stuff but I'm getting back into it soon."

"What personal stuff? You sounded a little frantic in your messages."

"I tried to kill myself," she said nonchalantly.

Stephen's eyes softened but his face didn't change. If the nonchalant way that she mentioned almost killing herself through him for a loop, he didn't show it.

"What happened?"

"I wanted to die. I always do when after a long hospital stay. I feel so weak and helpless, hopeless even."

"But what caused you to actually try?"

"My dad didn't come see me, when I was in the hospital or when I came home," Olivia sighed. She was still trying not to let her father's actions or lack thereof upset her.

"It's hard for me to think that the only biological family member that I have doesn't want to be there for me. I can't stomach my dad not loving me enough. It is this weird pain that I never felt before. I spent most of my life making excuses for why he left me while trying to not blame myself for him leaving. Him not loving me enough, me not being enough hurts."

"Why do you feel like your worth is dependent on someone else?"

"I wouldn't say that my worth is dependent on other people. I didn't have a normal childhood and I feel like on top of being sick, I needed a lot more love and care than I got. If both my parents were dead, that would be one thing but I have a dad. Your parents are supposed to love you unconditionally. They are the people who love you, nurture you, and shape the person you become. I spent a lot of time feeling like I wasn't a whole person because I didn't get that care from my dad. It's hard to imagine anyone caring for me if he can't."

"But you know that is not how it works? You went through enough foster homes and knew enough foster kids to know that sometimes parents just aren't there for you."

Olivia was silent. She knew that being a parent didn't make you perfect or invincible, people with kids where still human and fucked up. They didn't always do right, she knew this but she had spent so many years hooked up on this fantasy, this life where she wasn't sick and her dad loved her. She used it to keep her sane and holding on when she felt hopeless. Now faced with the reality that her father, just didn't want to be there for her, Olivia felt like she was picking up the pieces of her life and putting them back together from scratch.

"What about Harrison?"

"What about him?"

"He loves you unconditionally. He has been there for you since the moment he met you."

"It's different with Harrison."

"Why?"

"He has never had anyone. He spent his life in the foster care system. I thought he took a liking to me because it is what he felt he had to do as the oldest kid in the house. And then after my pain crisis, he took to watch out for me out of guilt."

"You don't believe that now, do you?"

"It's not how you start but how you finish," she said simply, "I know he loves me. That's my brother but I have always felt like I was holding him back. This is the fourth city that he has moved to with me. His life is in limbo because of me."

"Are you okay with your life being in limbo?"

"I've never had a reason to stay in one place."

"That doesn't answer my question."

"I'm not supposed to be here," Olivia paused. She didn't know how to explain that she spent a great deal of her life waiting to die. How could she say that at times she hoped for it?

"I'm a year younger than my mom was when she died. She was so young. She had her whole life ahead of her but this illness took her out. I always thought I would suffer the same fate. I often wished for it."

Olivia bit the inside of her mouth, silently willing the sadness she felt away.

"I always thought that if I lived this type of nomad lifestyle, not making connections with anyone, whenever my time came, I wouldn't hurt anyone that I cared about."

"You have been living to die."

It sounded ridiculous, pathetic even but that had been her life.

"Yeah," she nodded, "I guess you could say that."

Before Stephen could say something, Olivia spoke again, "I've done reckless things before but I'm never actually—this was different. It felt real, not just me punishing myself and abusing my body because I was lashing out. This actually felt like I could die. I thought about how upset Harrison would be, about Zoe, and my little sister Isabelle. I thought of how selfish I would be. I was being a coward. I was being my father, escaping the problem and leaving everyone around me to pick up the pieces in the aftermath."

It was as if a revelation hit Olivia. Never had connected her need to run away from people to her father leaving her. It seemed so obvious now. How could she had missed it?

"You have that look on your face that says you just released something."

"I'm my father's daughter. I have to stop running and find a way to confront my fears head on."

"Running keeps us on our feet but sometimes it is good to rest."

Olivia didn't know how Stephen was always able to put things in perspective for her. He was always able to turn even her darkest moments into tunnels with lights at the end of them. He made her feel human and like it was okay to make mistakes as long as she learned from them.

* * *

Olivia had invited Harrison out to go running with her. It was really just an excuse to talk to him. She wanted to tell him about what had been going on with her. After talking with Stephen, a lot of things came to the surface and Olivia decided that she was going to make a conscious decision not to keep running. She didn't want to live to die anymore. She wanted to embrace life and love and to just lean in close with the people that cared for her instead of pushing for a relationship with her father.

"Are you good?"

"Yeah. I'm fine," Olivia said a little out of breath.

He handed her a bottle of water and Olivia downed half of the bottle.

"Thirsty?"

"A little," she laughed. "I just remembered why I never ask you to coming running with me."

"I'm not an old man yet. I still got some fire behind me."

"I can see that."

They started walking the rest of trail in the park. The first few minutes were silent as Olivia caught her breath and worked up the nerve to tell him what she brought him here to say.

"Is everything alright with you?"

"Yeah. Why'd you ask?"

"You're acting a little strange."

Olivia looked over at him. It was now or never. She had to tell him.

"I need—I want to tell you something," she started.

Harrison came to a full stop and turned to look at her, giving Olivia his full attention.

"What's going on, Liv?"

"I had a really bad night a few weeks ago."

"What does that mean?"

"I..uh..I drank, a lot and took some pills."

"Jesus Christ, Liv."

"I know."

"What the hell happened? Why didn't you call me? How are you doing?" Harrison rattled off questions.

"I was upset about my dad not coming to see me or check on me. I was second guessing moving out her. I felt unloved and like a failure and I just wanted the pain to stop."

Harrison pulled her into his arms. It was the tightest hug of Olivia's life. She knew it was both a mixture of concern and trying to pull her together.

"You should have called me."

"I didn't want to disappoint you."

He pulled away from her slightly, looking into her eyes.

"You could never disappoint me," he said with certainty.

He stared at her for a long moment before pulling her into another tight embrace.

"Liv, I get it. I know that your life is hard. Harder than I could ever imagine or possibly endure myself," he spoke against her hair.

"You are so strong, and you are loved," he pulled away from her again, this time cupping her face and making her look at him, "I love you so much. You are the strongest person I know. You are not your sickness. You are not a failure or unlovable just because your asshole of a father can't see how special you are."

Olivia chuckled, more out of nerves than anything else. She was never use to getting compliments.

"I'm glad that you are okay."

"I am too. I talked to Stephen. He came in for a few days and we talked. I feel much better. I'm focused on doing better."

"Did you go to the hospital?"

"No but Fitz took me to the doctors."

"Fitz," the surprise was noticeable in his voice.

"Yeah. I called Fitz. We usually talk so when I was in my feelings, I called him. He could tell that something was wrong with me and he came by. He saved me."

Harrison made a mental note to thank Fitz.

"He forced his fingers down my throat until I vomited most of the pills I had taken. Then he sat up all night to make sure I was okay."

"I'm really going to have to like this guy."

"You were trying not to?"

"I was on the fence. You don't really know how to pick guys."

"I told you this is different."

"I can see that now. Have you been to the doctors? You need to get checked up just to make sure you are actually okay."

"Yeah. I went in for an emergency appointment that Monday."

"You're handling it."

"I'm trying to. It's an uphill climb but going to such a dark place actually made me see all that I have to live for."

"Thank you for telling me. I know that couldn't have been easy for you."

"You're my brother and you are always there for me. If I'm really trying to be better, I have to make changes to my behavior and that starts with me being open and honest with what's going on with me."

Harrison smiled at her before throwing his arm around her as they started walking again. They walked the rest of the trail in silence, both taking in all that she had said. Olivia wasn't use to being this open with Harrison because she didn't want him to worry about her more than he already did. Harrison was trying to remain supportive but the fact that he could have lost Olivia, scared him tremendously.

* * *

Harrison had sat with Olivia's confession for a few days. The knowledge that she had tried to kill herself didn't sit well with him. He hated that Eli not being there for her made Olivia feel that she was unlovable and like a failure. The protective side of Harrison came out and he knew that he had to speak with Eli and find out what was going on with him.

"Harrison, what brings you by?"

"I wanted to talk to you. Do you have a moment?"

"Sure," Eli stepped aside and left Harrison in.

Before any small talk could be had, Harrison started right in.

"Have you talked to Olivia?"

"No. Why? Is everything okay?"

"No. She's–What are you doing with her? Is this some game to you?"

"I don't know what you're talking about?"

"Olivia went through all the trouble of finding you. Uprooted her life and moved here to be closer to you–"

"I never asked her to do that."

Harrison felt an anger boiling inside of him. Eli's nonchalant manner rubbed him the wrong way. As a man and a father, Harrison couldn't wrap his mind around how little Eli seemed to care. He had met Olivia when he was fifteen and although not biologically related, she meant the world to him. Olivia was his little sister and he would do anything for her.

"Do you hear yourself right now?" Was all Harrison could manage to say as he worked on calming his anger. "You need to man up. Olivia has enough shit to worry about without you dangling your love just out of her reach. Either you are going to be there for her or you are going to cut her loose."

"I'm so sick of people acting like this is so simple."

"IT IS," Harrison raised his voice, "You are making it difficult. You are playing a game as if Olivia's life isn't on the line. SHE ALMOST DIED."

There it was, the anger he was trying to suppress. Harrison couldn't tell if his anger was directed at Eli because he was the main cause of Olivia's emotional pain or if he was still reeling from the information that Olivia had tried to kill herself. For whatever reason, Eli's behavior was sending him over the edge.

"Don't put this on me. I didn't ask her to come here. I damn sure didn't expect her to move here."

It was as if Eli had turned into a different person. The kind, warm, calm older man was gone and replaced by a cold man who didn't care about anyone or anything.

"Are both of you so stupid that you need it spelled out for you? I didn't come looking for her. She is easily able to reached given her line of work but I didn't reach out to her. I didn't want the burden of dealing with a sick person. I dealt with my share with Olivia and her mother in the past. I gave her up for a reason. I never wanted her. I didn't as—"

Eli's words were cut short by a right hook that Harrison had thrown. Harrison couldn't listen to another word that Eli was saying so before Harrison could stop himself, he had punched him. Harrison was seeing red and couldn't be stopped. One after another, fist kept crashing against Eli's face. Not even the blood coming from Eli stopped Harrison from beating him.

* * *

Fitz and Olivia were in the getting to know you stage of their relationship. This was very new to both of them. Olivia only had one serious relationship prior to this one. All of her other ' _relationships_ ' had been hookups or friends with benefits situations. She normally never let people in but with Fitz it was different, she wanted things to be different. He saw her ugly parts and still wanted to try with her anyway. She appreciated that and was putting forth an actual effort to see where this thing was going.

Fitz had spent almost twenty years of his life tied down to a person he wasn't in love with. This feeling of thinking about Olivia every waking moment, wanting to be with her, wanting to see and talk to her all the time was new to him. In all honesty, it scared him. He had never felt this way about any other woman. Fitz wondered what he had been missing his whole life.

After talking with Karen, Fitz realized that aside from a few hospital visits and the night of her suicide attempt, they had never been alone together. They had never spent any time together in a situation where Olivia wasn't in distress. Fitz didn't know if it would be too much just to spring his whole family on Olivia without them even going out on a date first. They were both busy but he wanted them to actually spend some time together before she met the rest of his family so Fitz asked her out on a lunch date.

It was a last minute idea so Fitz didn't have any time to plan anything fancy. He left work early and went home to put together a small picnic basket. After picking Olivia up, he drove down to Lake Champlain so they could have lunch by the lake. It seemed like a cute idea at the time but as he sat across from her watching her eat, he thought that she deserved so much more than this.

"I'm sorry this isn't like a proper date," he blurted out.

Olivia looked up from her salad and smiled at him.

"It seems pretty proper to me. It's romantic and sweet and thoughtful. I love it but what do I know?" She shrugged at him, "This is my first real date and it seems pretty awesome to me."

Her words had him curious about her past romantic life if she had never been on a date.

"You were serious when you said you didn't date."

She nodded.

"I psyched myself out of a lot of potential dates. I thought for a long time that if my dad didn't want me because of my sickness than no one would be able to put up with it."

Hearing her say that hurt. There was so much love out there and she was deserving of it. It pained him that she had denied herself love but he was happy that her path brought her right here with him.

"The few guys that I were with were all hookups or friends with benefits situation. My one and only serious relationship didn't even feel real because I lied to him for half of it. I was with him for over a year before I told him about my sickle cell. And even then I only told him because he found some of my medication. I spent the rest of our relationship kindly and not so subtly trying to give him away out. He hated the way I talked about myself as well."

"It's not healthy to be so hard on yourself."

"I know. It was part of my reckless behavior in the past."

"I haven't been on many dates either. I got married young and outside of a few date nights over the years, I didn't date much."

"I never understood getting married young. I would want to live a little and travel the world before settling down."

"That was the plan but then Karen was on her way."

"So a baby sped up your process? Why? This isn't the 50s where it would be the end of the world to have a kid out wedlock."

"We both had very strong stances on family. I grew up in a household with two parents and three siblings. She grew up with a single mom after her dad walked out them. Her dad never married mom and then skipped out when she was eight. He got some other woman pregnant and married her instead."

"Damn."

"We both really want two parents in the home so when she got pregnant, marriage was the next obvious step."

Olivia just nodded, not saying anything because she didn't want to seem like she was pressing him for information.

"It doesn't feel like we should be talking about my ex on a date."

"I think we are way pass the traditional dating rules. You've already seen me at my worse and you invited me to meet your family before we even went out on a first date."

"You have a point there."

"I like learning about you. I feel like you already know so much about me and aside from the number of siblings and kids you have, I don't know much about you."

"What do you want to know?"

"Tell me everything."

Olivia's phone rang and she sent the call straight to voicemail without even looking at the name. She looked back at Fitz but her phone started ringing again.

"Answer it. It might be important."

"Sorry," she offered him a small smile before answering her phone.

"Hello."

Fitz watched as her face changed. He could tell something was wrong.

"I'm on my way right now," Olivia quickly hung up her phone. "I'm sorry. I have to go."

"What's wrong?"

"Harrison just got arrested."


	9. Black Mermaid

**Black Mermaid**

" _And I spend most of my life deep down inside myself. I've dreamt about the possibility of someone else, who could see the things I've seen and still wait with me. To the darkness we could fade, because we know ourselves. I'm his black mermaid, from the bottom of the sea. I will teach you how to love me, into greatness I will lead you. I'm a black mermaid, from the bottom of the sea. I will teach you how to love me, in the greatness I will lead you._ "―Esthero

* * *

Olivia rushed into the police station with Fitz right behind her. She stood by the front desk waiting for the officer to get off of the phone.

"Liv," Quinn called out when she spotted Olivia.

Olivia walked towards her.

"What happened?"

"He got into an altercation with someone. They're charging him with assault and battery."

"That doesn't make any sense. He doesn't even know anyone in town like that. Who would he have gotten into a fight with?"

"I don't know."

The worry was written all over her face. If it wasn't for holding Zoe, Olivia is almost positive you would be able to see Quinn's hand shaking.

"Did they give him bail yet?"

"They said it depends on if the guy presses charges or not. He is in holding right now," she shook her head, "Liv, he can't stay here," her voice was frantic, eyes desperate. She was out of her element and had no idea what to do.

"It's going to be okay. We'll get him out."

Picking up on her mother's energy, Zoe started to squirm in Quinn's arms.

"Fi," Zoe reached out for Fitz.

As if noticing him standing there for the first time, Quinn looked at Fitz.

"Quinn, this is Fitz. Fitz, this is Quinn, Harrison's fiancée," Olivia quickly made a formal introduction.

"Hello."

"Hey."

"Fi! Fi!" Zoe called again, practically leaping into his arms.

Quinn let Zoe go to Fitz. Zoe had really warmed up to Fitz during the sleepover at Olivia's place. As if they were old friends, Zoe started a conversation as only she could. Fitz listened and talked back to her.

"He's cute," Quinn spoke just loud enough for Olivia to hear her.

Olivia smiled at her, "Yeah, he is."

Fitz had been keeping an eye on the front desk as he listened and talked to Zoe. When the officer ended his phone call, he walked over and started saying something to the officer. Olivia watched him. She couldn't hear what he was saying but she focused on his back. Zoe had rested her head on his shoulder as he talked to the officer. Looking at how comfortable Zoe was with Fitz, it seemed like they knew each other for years instead of just being around each other only a couple of times before.

"I know you didn't ask but he seems good for you."

"You came to that conclusion how?"

"Zoe likes him. She is really protective of you like her dad. If she likes him, it's a good sign. And he is now."

"We were having lunch."

"Oh God. I'm sorry, Liv."

"No, it's fine."

"Harrison didn't want me to call you."

"I'm sure."

"I just couldn't handle this on my own. When they said that he didn't have bail. I didn't know what to do."

"I'm glad you called," Olivia patted her leg, "We're going to figure this out."

Fitz walked back over to them.

"They're getting his paperwork together. It should be about fifteen or twenty minutes before he is released."

"What? I thought we had to wait for bail," Quinn said.

"I know the chief of police."

"You know the chief of police? So what, you called in a favor?" Olivia looked at him.

Fitz didn't want it to seem like he had special privileges or clout because he didn't. His father just happened to have two friends that he went back years with. One was senator Henry Caldwell, who had been friends with Jerry since they were in grade school; and the other was police chief Dennis Porter, who Jerry had met while serving in the military. Jerry and Henry had drifted apart after high school, Henry going to college and Jerry going into the military to help him get money to go to school. While serving in the military, Jerry met Dennis, being two years older than him, Dennis was in charge of Jerry and nine other new recruits. The two quickly struck up a friendship that would turn into a brotherhood that lasted multiple decades.

"He is my godfather."

"The chief of police?"

Fitz nodded, "Him and my dad served in the military together. He was the best man at my parents wedding."

"So you just did what exactly?"

"Harrison is not out of the woods. He is being released. If the person he beat up presses charges, he might have to go to court. First offense, he could be looking at a fine and some hours of anger management at the most. Worst case scenario, thirty days in lock up but that is highly unlikely. If the person doesn't press charges, he walks away, no record, nothing. Life goes back to normal."

Olivia was render speechless. Everything in her felt like it opened up to Fitz in that moment. She was trying to keep a positive face for Quinn but Olivia had no idea how they would get Harrison out if he wasn't given bail. The fact that Fitz just came in and fixed everything, she didn't know what to say. Thank you didn't seem like enough.

"Thank you," Quinn hugged Fitz.

They sat and waited for Harrison to be released. It took a total of twenty minutes for the paperwork to be completed and for Harrison to released.

The moment Harrison saw Olivia, he gave Quinn a look.

"I told you not to call her."

"Shut up. If it wasn't for me calling her, you wouldn't be out right now."

"I'll pay back whatever I owe you," Harrison said, not looking Olivia in the eye.

"Fitz got you out."

"Thank you. I don't know what I owe you but I'll pay you back."

"You don't owe me anything."

"Fitz called in a favor. You still have to see if there will be any charges filed but for now things are okay."

Olivia couldn't figure out why, Harrison wasn't looking at her.

"Are you okay?"

"I want to get out of here before they change their mind."

He was acting weird but Olivia tried to take into account that he had spent a few hours in a holding cell.

They left the police station and was walking through the parking lot when Olivia's cellphone started to ring.

"Hello."

"What the hell, Olivia?"

"Maria? What's going on?"

"You tell me why did Harrison almost kill Eli?"

Olivia stopped walking. Maria was talking but Olivia only heard bits and pieces of what was being said. She didn't know if it was the frantic sound of Maria's voice or the realization of what landed Harrison in jail, but somehow everything was foggy.

"Liv? Is everything okay?" Fitz asked when he noticed that she wasn't walking with them.

Pulling the phone away from her ear, Olivia glared at Harrison.

"What did you do?"

"I'm sorry, Liv."

* * *

Olivia needed a minute. Just one minute where everything didn't feel like it was fall apart, where the world didn't feel like it was caving in on her. After getting a call from her stepmother, Olivia and Fitz headed to the hospital. Olivia didn't know what happened, just that her father and Harrison had gotten into fight.

By the time they arrived at the hospital, Eli was resting. Maria had given them an update. Eli had to have his nose realigned, two fractured ribs, and a few other bruises. They were keeping him overnight for observation.

Maria didn't act mad at her but Olivia felt the bad energy. She felt unwanted there but she didn't know what else to do. She wanted to make sure that her father was going to be okay, and she hated not knowing everything that even put Eli and Harrison in this mess.

After sitting around the hospital for almost, Olivia needed some air. When Fitz stepped out to make a phone call, she took that chance to have a much needed moment of calm.

Olivia rested her head in her hands. She felt overwhelmed with everything that had been going on that day. She wanted to scream, cry, hit something, anything but all she could do was sit here, feeling like she was going to explode.

"How are you feeling?"

Olivia raised her heading, looking at Fitz. She hadn't even heard him walk up.

"Never been better."

Fitz took a seat next to her. He didn't say anything and Olivia appreciated him not pushing her. In all honesty, her feelings were all over the place. She felt like her world was caving in on her and she wanted to just escape it all.

"Today started out really beautiful," she shook her head, "It's too much."

Olivia don't know why but she felt the need to defend Harrison.

"Harrison is not a violent person. I don't understand what happened."

"I'm sure he had his reasons. When everything settles down, you two will talk."

Olivia sighed.

"What do you need?"

She stared at him blankly for a moment.

"You had a rough day. What do you need to make it better?"

She didn't know how to respond to that. No one ever cared enough to ask her how they could make her day better.

She thought for a minute before answering, "I want to go swimming."

It was a weird request but she loved swimming. It always helped her to clear her head. It was the healthiest coping mechanism she had.

"I can make that happen."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, I know a place."

* * *

When Olivia said that she wanted to go swimming, Fitz knew the perfect place. After stopping at her place for her bathing suit, they headed up to his parents' house. His parents had a five bedroom guest house on their property with a massive indoor pool. They often used the house when they hosted parties or had family events with extended family.

When they made it to the gate, Fitz rolled down his window and punched in the code.

"Someone is living fancy."

"My parents."

"Fitz…"

Olivia wasn't in the mood to meet his parents at this very moment and she hated that he would bring her here now, with everything that she had going on.

"They're not home," he said after reading her face, "If they were, I wouldn't have brought you here."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize. You had one hell of a day. I wouldn't add on to that by trying to spring my parents on you."

"I didn't mean it like that."

"My parents have a guest house with an indoor pool."

"A guest house, wow. So you grew up with a golden spoon in your mouth."

"Not really. We grew up comfortable but not enough to be spoiled."

Fitz drove them through the gates and about thirty seconds up the road, they came to a big house.

"This is your parents guest house?"

"It used to be my grandparents house. They owned the land and we lived with them for a number of years when we first moved out here. Once my dad got his business up and running, he had a house built a little up the road. That's the main house."

Fitz grabbed her hand and walked her up the house. He gave her a tour of the house, that was more like bachelor pad than a house that once belonged to older people.

"Your grandparents must have hand a young spirit."

"My parents remodeled of few years ago after the house got damaged in a storm. They turned it into a place for the family to come and hang out. A place were their grandkids could always come and had fun."

"That's sweet," she smiled at him, "I can't wait to meet your family."

"They're going to love you."

Olivia lifted her shirt over her head and Fitz couldn't help but steal a glance at her. He quickly turned away because he didn't want her to think he was some pervert who couldn't control his eyes.

"There is a room down the hall if you want to change in private."

Olivia hadn't even given a second thought about changing in front of him. This was the man who had save her from dying. The man who she was exploring a relationship with. What did she care if he saw her naked?

"Do you want me to change in another room?"

"I want you to do whatever is comfortable for you."

"You're such a gentleman."

"My mother wouldn't have it any other way."

"You can look at me you know?"

He turned to face her as she was pulling up her bathing suit. He caught a glimpse of her nipple and since she didn't mind him staring, he didn't bother to look away.

Fitz didn't understand how a one piece bathing suit could be so sexy. He eyes traveled from her breast to the exposed skin that was peeking through on her sides.

Olivia walked towards him.

"Your turn."

"I didn't bring my trunks."

"So what," Olivia kissed him, "You getting in the pool with me."

Fitz couldn't say no to Olivia. He stripped down to his boxers and took her to the pool.

"Thank you for bringing me here."

She didn't know why she felt so shy all of a sudden around him but she looked down.

"You spoil me and I'm not use to that at all."

He tilted her chin up so that he could look into her eyes.

"I ask to swimming and you actually make it happen. You got Harrison out of jail. You been with me through everything today. I feel like I should be doing something for you."

"As long as you are good, you are doing everything for me."

Olivia blushed. Before she could respond, Fitz picked her up and jumped in the pool. The laugh that Olivia let out changed the mood. Whatever had happened today, this pool was a safe zone. They were going to have fun and try to forget about it all.

* * *

"Tell me about your family."

"What do you want to know exactly?"

"Everything."

"I'm the oldest of Fitzgerald Thomas Grant II and Eleanor Grant's four children. My parents just go by Jerry and Ella. Right under me is my brother Benjamin, sister Victoria, and you met my baby brother Jason. We all work at Grant Advertising. Technically Benji and I are the ones in charge but we try not to act like it. We get input from Tori and Jay because they are as much a part of the business as we are."

"Why did he leave it to you two instead of the four of you?"

"I think it's because we're a little better suited to run the place. My sister is thirty-four and single, no kids. My dad doesn't want her to work herself to death and he wants her to have time to have a family. Jason is not companying running material. I'm not sure he even likes working at GA but he loves the idea working with his family. It's safe. He is free to fail and coast if he wants to. The safety net is probably comforting for him but he is actually damn good at his job."

She smiled at him. Olivia didn't know what it was but she got the feeling that he was projecting with his last statement. Maybe it was the slightly dazed look in his eyes but she got the feeling that Grant Advertising was his safety net as well.

"Jason is a lot like you."

"Yeah he is. He is a frat boy version of me."

"He looks up to you. I know I only met him once but you can tell."

"I guess."

"I wish I had siblings," when she remembered Isabelle, she quickly added, "that I grew up with."

"What about you? You don't have any other family?"

"I don't know. I guess somewhere out there, maybe," she shrugged, "All I remember is my mom and my dad. When I first moved out here, my dad and I had a talk and he gave me a brief family history lesson. My mom wasn't originally from the US. My grandmother had moved to Paris when she was twenty, fell in love and never came back. My mom was born in Paris and raised in England until she was sixteen and then she moved to New York because she was going to study dance at Juilliard."

"Wow."

"I didn't know any of that about my mother. I try to recall her voice from time to time now to see if I remember an accent but I don't. I do remember hearing her talking on phone when I was six, and now I swear she was speaking a different language."

Olivia had tried to remember anything that she could about her mother since her father had told her a little about her. She could remember her mom braiding her hair and reading to her. Her mom loved to journal but her journal looked more like a scrapbook, with drawings, colors, movie ticket stubs.

"I think she is the reason I write. She use to keep journals but they looked more like scrapbooks. I never read them but I remember her writing everything down."

"What was her name?"

"I knew her as Maya Lewis but her full name was Maya Jelena Lewis-Bouvier," Olivia shook her head, "It's weird. I feel like I didn't really get the chance to know her."

"Do you know if your grandparents still alive?"

"My dad's parents are both dead. My mom's parents might be still alive. I also have an aunt, my mom's aunt but I don't know if she is alive either."

"Did you ever think about finding them?"

Olivia shook her head.

"I'm not sure if I want to open up that can of worms. I haven't actually had the best of luck since finding my dad."

"I think you're doing good."

Olivia eyed him.

"Considering all that has happened, you are doing good. It was brave of you to even try to find him. I can't say I would have done the same."

"I thought I was missing something but finding my dad again has been nothing like what I expected. The only good thing about my time here is that I met you."

"Give it time. We'll make some good memories here."

* * *

It had taken Olivia two days to work up the courage to go see her father again after what happened between him and Harrison. She wasn't sure what she was going to say to him but she felt like she needed to check in with him.

"Hey."

"Hello," he was surprised to see her, happy even but he could seem to show it. "Maria isn't here."

"I came to see you actually. Do you have a moment?"

"Yeah," he stepped aside to let her in.

Olivia walked in and stood in the hallway. She didn't feel comfortable being in his home, she never did but now more than ever she felt like she didn't belong.

"Have a seat," he motioned towards the living room.

Olivia walked into the living room and took a seat. She watched her father as he walked into the room slowly. She could tell that he was trying not to limp. Olivia looked away from him as she tried to get her thoughts together. She had come here with only one goal; to ask—beg if she had to—her father not to press charges on Harrison.

"It looks worse than it really is."

"I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to apologize for."

"Whatever happened is kind of my fault. I'm the reason your two even know each other."

Olivia noticed her father staring at her hands. She looked down and saw that she was fiddling with her fingers.

She had to get a hold of that. Olivia had the terrible habit of pacing in circles when something was wrong, whenever she couldn't pace, she would pick at her nails or fiddle with her fingers.

"I'm not really sure how I'm supposed to handle this situation. I don't know what I'm supposed to say to you. It doesn't seem fair to say that Harrison isn't a violent man given your experience with him."

"You don't have to say anything."

"Are you going to press charges."

"No."

The relief was written all over her face.

"The altercation wasn't exactly unprovoked."

"What did you do?" Her voice was low, she didn't want to sound like she was accusing him of something.

"I spoke my truth."

"What does that mean?"

"Harrison came over here to tell me to man up. He said that I was dangling my love just out of your reach and that I should either step up and be there for you or cut you loose."

Olivia felt a sense of pride in her brother. That was a very Harrison thing to do, to stand up to any and every one for her.

"He was talking about how you uprooted your life to come live here. I told him that I never asked you to come here and I didn't expect you to move here."

Olivia wasn't sure she was ready to hear what he was about to say but she knew she had to listen. She needed to hear how he truly felt.

"I never asked you to move here, Olivia."

"You didn't want me to move here?"

"After your mother died–"

"It's a yes or no question," she cut him off.

"There was a reason that I never tried to look for you. I closed that part of my life off. I buried it, hid it for years. It's locked away in the back of a closet in my mind. When I gave you up it was because I couldn't care for you anymore. I never thought I would see you again. But you found me. I couldn't act like you didn't exist anymore. I couldn't keep you locked away, buried with my past."

"You could have told me that you didn't want to talk to me. I wouldn't have contacted you any further. I would have left you alone."

"You don't get it."

"I don't."

"No one thinks of the stress and pain that comes along with taking care of someone sick. Between you and your mother, it was a revolving door of hospital visits. I have never felt so helpless and drained, physically and emotionally. I was losing it," he paused, "I told Harrison that I didn't want you."

His words stung but they were his truth and she had to respect that.

"You don't ever have to worry about seeing me again. I'll stay away from you and your family."

"You're still not getting it."

"You didn't want me. I am as much of a burden to you now as I was back then. I get it. I said I will stay away."

"You can't stay away. What about Isabelle? You are her big sister who she has loved since the moment she heard about you. Maria sees you as a daughter. You can't leave them because you're mad at me."

"That's sounds a lot like you only want me around to placate your wife and daughter."

"When you told me you were moving out here, it was like the having a rug pulled from under me and not having time to brace myself for the fall."

"You could have told me not to come."

"How could I? How could I say that to you without looking like the bad guy?"

She wanted to tell him that he was a bad guy but she didn't want to let her emotions lead her so she remained quiet.

"I wasn't ready, Olivia. I wasn't ready to face my past or confront my demons. You found me and were coming back into my life. I couldn't deny you or hide you because I do love you. In my own broken way, I love you. I just was not ready."

Olivia didn't know how she was supposed to respond. He wasn't ready to be her father and be there for her but being a parent didn't have an off and on switch. She had been in this world for thirty-one years and whether he liked it or not, all thirty-one of those years he had been her dad, nothing was going to change that.

"I want to get ready."

She stared at him.

"It's not going to be easy. I have a lot of baggage to unpack but I'm done running and hiding. I'm here now, Olivia and if you will let me, I would like to start over."

* * *

"Dad?"

"Yeah, bud?"

"Is a trashy slut a bad thing?"

Fitz looked over at his son briefly before concentrating back on the road.

"Yes. It's a bad term used to belittle women. Where did you hear that?"

"Mom."

Fitz didn't want to ask what Mellie had said because he knew whatever it was, wasn't good.

"She told uncle Andrew that you better not have me around that young trashy slut."

Fitz grimaced at ' _uncle Andrew_ '. He hated that Teddy called him that. Fitz gripped the steering wheel and counted backwards for ten in his head before responding.

"Sometimes grow ups say bad things," he started.

"Was she talking about Olivia?"

"I don't know," Fitz lied, "I wasn't there so I can't say."

"Probably not because if trashy slut is a bad thing, I don't think that's Olivia. She's nice."

"She is."

"Is Olivia your girlfriend?"

It was a simple enough question but he didn't know how to answer it. There was hesitation there because they were very much in the getting to know you phase of their relationship. Just trying to go out with Olivia seemed like moving mountains were required. Their initial first date got canceled because she was in the hospital. Then issues with his brother left him having less time than he would like. When they actually got to go out for lunch, it got interrupted because of Harrison's situation. Everything seemed to be getting in their way.

"Yeah," he looked over at him again, "Are you okay with this?"

"That's cool. You are a grown adult."

Fitz chuckled.

"Olivia seems nice. Karen likes her a lot. You like her so I like her too."

"Well I'm glad you like her. It means a lot to me that you do."

"Because we're a team, like The Flash and Kid Flash."

"Just like The Flash and Kid Flash."

"You know that means Olivia is Iris West? Ooh isn't she a writer? Iris is a writer too. Well a journalist."

"Olivia has written articles online like Iris."

"She is your perfect Iris West."

Fitz pulled into a parking space outside of Olivia's place.

"Do you think Olivia likes The Flash?"

"Doesn't everybody?"

"That is true."

Fitz texted Olivia to let her know that he was outside of her house.

"Is Olivia staying all weekend?"

"Yeah."

"You think she can help me with my science project since Karen is staying with Ryan."

"I can help you."

"No you can't. Ms. Campbell said you are not allowed because she can tell when you help me because it looks professionally done."

"What? There is nothing wrong with having good work done."

"It's not fair to the other kids who don't have a dad who works in graphic design."

Fitz stopped himself from saying anything bad about Teddy's teacher.

"You have to ask Olivia if she will help you, bud. I'm sure she will."

Fitz watched Olivia as she walked towards his car. He reached over and opened the car door for her. Fitz grabbed her bag from her.

"I got it," Teddy reached for the bag.

"You sure? It might be a little heavy."

Teddy took the bag from his dad and sat it in the back with him.

"Wow. You're so strong."

"I've been working out."

"I can tell. I see the muscle right there."

Teddy flexed his arm, proudly showing off his little muscle.

"Put your seat belt back on, Ted."

"Olivia, do you watch The Flash?" Teddy asked as he sat back in his seat and put his seat belt on.

"Every week."

Teddy's eyes lit up.

"This is a good sign."

* * *

"Taco lasagna?" Olivia sat at the kitchen table watching Fitz and Teddy make dinner.

"Dad loves lasagna and I love tacos so we put them together."

"I got the recipe off the internet."

"It is the best of both worlds."

Olivia had been there a little over an hour. After getting the tour of the house, they settled in the kitchen to get dinner started. She enjoyed watching Fitz and his son together. Teddy was really the mini version of his father. Their mannerisms, the way the talked, the way they just shared a space together without words, spoke to the close bond they had. Olivia admired their relationship so much. Teddy was lucky to have a father like Fitz.

"Grodd or Zoom? Who is the scarier?" Teddy asked.

Since finding out that Olivia actually watched The Flash as well, Teddy had been asking her questions about the show.

"Zoom."

Fitz shook his head.

"See, I told you dad. Everyone knows Zoom is scarier than Grodd."

"You picked Grodd?"

"He is a giant gorilla. An intelligent giant gorilla. He is stronger and smarter than Barry."

"The lies," Teddy shook his head and Olivia chuckled.

"Zoom is fast but so is Barry. He doesn't seem like that big of a threat."

"He took Barry's speed though so he is like super fast."

"There is also the fact that he infiltrated their team. He knew all of their strengths, weaknesses, and was able to be steps ahead of them," Olivia added.

"So what? Grodd has mind controlling capabilities."

"Zoom does too in a sense. He may not be able to get into someone's actual head like Grodd but was able to get in, gain their trust, learn from them, and then used what he learned against them. Zoom played them and because you weren't really expecting it, he is the scarier villain."

Teddy looked satisfied with her answer so he moved on to his next question. For the next thirty minutes, they talked about superheroes and TV shows. She found out that Teddy's favorite color was red and he loved everything involving the solar system.

He was a very fascinating little boy.

* * *

Olivia's hands tangled in Fitz's curls as she brought him into their kiss deeper. His hands roamed her body and she tried to press herself even closer against him. His hands felt like they were everywhere and nowhere at the same time. Before she could get use to him touching her in one spot, he would be on to the next, leaving a trail of heat in his wake.

Olivia wanted him now. Her hands traveled up the inside of his shirt, her nails scrapping across his abs.

The moment he felt her hands on him, Fitz knew he had to stop this before they got carried away.

"Liv," he breathed out before her lips was on his again.

She reached for his belt and had it unbuckled in a matter of seconds.

Fitz grabbed her hands, stopping her movements. Olivia pulled back to look at him.

"Maybe we shouldn't do that."

"Really?" Olivia looked down at the print of his erection, "Someone didn't get the memo."

"Yeah. I'll have to talk to him later."

"Or I can talk to him now."

Olivia went to move down his body but Fitz stopped her. Momentarily shocked, she stared at him straight on.

"Oh, wow. Okay," Olivia stood up.

"Liv."

"I need to go to the bathroom," Olivia said quickly, before leaving the room.

"Shit," Fitz mumbled under his breath.

He cursed himself for not stopping them sooner. It's not that he didn't want to have sex with her, it was just with everything that had been going on, he wasn't sure if now was the right time.

After almost ten minutes and Olivia hadn't returned, Fitz stood up and went to go check on her. He waited outside of the downstairs bathroom door for a little bit before knocking on the door.

"I'll be out in a minute."

Fitz leaned against the opposite wall and waited for her to come out of the bathroom.

"You okay?"

"I'm fine."

She wouldn't look at him.

"Don't be like that."

"Don't be fine, Fitzgerald?"

"Full first name. I'm in the dog house, aren't I?"

"No," she shook her head, "You have every right not to want to sleep with me. I shouldn't have come off so aggressive. Friends don't do that."

"Friends? That's very passive aggressive of you."

Olivia moved to walk around him but he grabbed her pulling her back towards him. He opened his mouth to say something but then closed it. Looking in his eyes, Olivia saw his struggle.

"I'm fine, Fitz. I mean it."

"It's not that I don't want to…," he started but then stopped. He was still trying to find the right words to express himself.

"It's fine, Fitz. Lots of men your age have problems with erectile dysfunction," the smirk on her face made him smile.

"Don't be cute," he poked her sides, making laugh. "It's definitely not that. Everything works properly. I'm actually at my sexual prime right now."

"Good to know."

Her smile invited his lips to hers. She savored the taste of his tongue but was mindful not to get caught up in the moment. There was a boundary here, they weren't going to cross over into sex, at least not tonight.

Fitz squeezed her ass and she bit his bottom lip playfully.

"Ass grabbing from someone who doesn't want to have sex is sending mixed signals, don't you think?"

He dropped his forehead on hers and closed his eyes.

"Maybe."

Olivia tried to walk back into the living room again but was stopped by his words.

"I don't want to hurt you," he confessed.

She stepped back in front of him.

"How would you hurt me?"

"You told me how you went into crisis once after you spent a day washing your clothes. I did some reading and anything can bring on a pain crisis."

"You're scared to have sex with me because of my sickle cell."

"Not scared but hesitant."

"Okay."

Olivia walked away and Fitz followed.

"You're mad at me?"

"No."

"Then why are you packing your things. You can't get mad at me for being concerned."

"I'm not mad. Frustrated, annoyed but not mad," she threw her bag on the couch. "I can't change that I have sickle cell. If I could, I would have done something a long time ago, before my mom died and dad abandoned me but I can't. If that is a problem for you, say something now. What you see as concern looks like you don't want to be intimate with me because of something that is out of my control. It's fine, you don't have to sleep with me but let's call this what it is and stop bullshitting."

"I didn't mean to...I wasn't trying to..."

Fitz didn't know what to say. Somehow he couldn't find the right words to express that he cared about her greatly and that he just wanted to make sure she was okay.

"I had a long day. I'm just going to head out."

"Please stay."

Olivia shook her head, grabbing her bag off of the couch.

"The other day you said you felt like you should do something for me. You want to do something, don't leave or walk out on me when you are frustrated or annoyed."

Olivia knew that she may be being a little hard on Fitz. He was concerned for her and she couldn't be mad at that.

"You actually looked up sickle cell and sex?"

"I've done some reading. It's something that your dealing with so I want to know about it."

Olivia saw in his eyes just how much he cared about her and it made her soften.

"It can happen but it's rare that sex will cause a pain crisis. I just have to stay properly hydrated and listen to my body."

"Are we okay?" He asked.

"We're better than okay," Olivia replied as she took a seat.


End file.
